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Hello. its 1:56 am and im writing this because i am too scared i will get it sick if i go to sleep.I also probably inhaled to much bleach while sanitizing my apt. This is  bit long but I needed to say it all. 

 Here it goes:


I am TERRIFIED, on some primal inexplicable level, of throwing up. Its not even just the act itself. Its the feelings before. The concern about is it or isnt it going to happen? Will it stop? These thoughts spiral out of control and a full blown panic attack rages through me. And I KNOW my panic attacks. I have anxiety and a panic disorder so i am no stranger to them. But these, these are truly spawned from hell.


I do not recall when my fear began. I was young. I hated it then and as the years passed it blossomed into a full blown phobia. I used to think "puke-y" germs were EVERYWHERE. A stain on the street..was to me a vomit stain. So i obviously would have to go home and scrub my feet. if that wasn't enough, and it never was, i got out the rubbing alcohol and bathed my feet in it. I did this so much to my hands/feet, i had bleeding cracked deformed looking hands.


Well, sometime between ages 15 and 19 i got over it, i suppose. Everything was fine and dandy(hah, well at least when it came to this). But then, December 2012 happened, and i got the dreaded stomach virus that makes your insides turn out. It happened to me on our 12 hour car ride home from vacation. Well i obviously struggled a bit after this, especially because it that wonderful time of the year where everyone sick. But after a couple weeks, i chilled on the hand washing and the fear eased up.


Fast forward to last week. My new roommate got the pukies. I lost it. I stayed in my room for 2 days(thankfully there is a bathroom in here...) bc i was too afraid to touch anything out there. Since then ive relearned my old tricks (opening doors with elbows, picking things up with my toe, etc). And then to top it all off, last night i got EXTREMELY sick to my stomach and had a whopper of a panic attack. Death was certain.


Now i feel myself spiraling out of control. Im sleeping with just in case puke bags next to my bed. Have my Zophran(prescription for nausea and vomiting)  in reach. I am a freaking mess. I hate nighttime already but now all i feel is impending doom(in this case its puking but i equate it to death...seriously. )


Sorry this is so lengthy. I felt it was necessary to give some of the history. I HATE this more than any of my other phobias/anxiety problems. It once controlled every waking thought and I feel myself running back in that direction and I have no idea how to stop. Has anyone else suffered from this? Or feared something so much?


Any questions, comments, or advice would be wonderful.

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I don't have this, but I'll try and help. Vomiting is a natural body response, your body knows what it needs to do for you to get better. If you resist the urge to vomit then often that makes you sicker and prolongs the illness. I know that it's yuck but it serves a purpose in your body. A lot of the times you'll feel better afterwards.


 Sometimes I think it's good to look at the worst possible scenarios and then ask yourself if it will matter to you in two weeks, a year, five years, and most of the time it won't.  So in your case, the worst possible case is that you vomit, it will come to an end and after the sickness ends you'll feel better. Like I said I've never feared it before, but I think it's good to know that this won't cause you to die, it may make you very anxious but you won't die. Part of your problem is that anxiety can make you feel sick, so the more anxious you feel the more symptoms you'll notice, this can escalate into a never ending loop so it's best to try and stop it. I think it's best that you try and stay calm, do you have PRN meds, maybe have a shower, drink some water and try and rest. I assure you it won't seem so bleak in the morning.

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I have this too but nobody ever formally diagnosed it--but it definitely sounds like me too! I don't have the germa-phobic part like you do, but I definitely do *anything* to keep from throwing up.


The only things that work for me are 1)knowing alot of it comes from stress, nerves, etc and that I need to take my Xanax to calm all that before it gets me to the point of throwing up and 2)If I really am *sick* where I might possibly throw up like from a stomach bug, I always always always have Compazine (or OTC anti-nausea meds), Zofran, etc. Those OTC motion-sickness pills like from CVS are super strong and knock me out for a full day and a half whenever I've taken one.


I try anything...chicken soup, saltine crackers, Pepto (I ought to have stock in the company by now!lol)...anything to keep from throwing up.


Thankfully no matter how sick I've been, I haven't thrown up in years. My phobia started back when I was little and was sick alot, so I always had tummy problems and felt nauseous alot...Things went into super-horrible mode after a surgery and I was throwing up blood for what seemed like days--I was soooo sick!! I felt like one of those Muppets who's mouth could turn inside out--it was like my whole throat was ready to just turn inside out! Horrible!! So now my fear is that once I start throwing up, I won't stop....


I don't have any solutions to get over the problem...I just try to prevent myself from getting to the point where I actually throw up, and anti-anxiety meds help alot--knowing it's a panic attack/stress that's causing me to feel that way... And having stuff to actually prevent throwing up helps alot (even if it does knock me out cold!lol)

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One thing to try is specific therapy for the phobia.


Phobias tend to respond REALLY well to specific therapy to treat them.


There's nothing pharmaceutical that will help a phobia... but in vivo exposure response therapy done by a competent professional can really help... though the in vivo part might be a little more difficult for this particular phobia.

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thanks for the responses!


Brokendishes, dont ever research stomach viruses . i repeat DO NOT. it ruined my life. im not even joking. have you had a doctor prescribe you zofran? its pretty good stuff for after surgery nausea, i still have some that i have been clinging to for dear life. and i would like to have it on hand.


wooster...that would be ideal. I wish i could remember how i got over it the first time.

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