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The little things...

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Guest Vapourware

Thought I'd chime in with my tale of woe.

Actually, I feel somewhat awkward about my vent. Mainly because I keep thinking my problems are not as bad others, and that I should be thankful that my problems are not as catastrophic as they could be. Yet I know that attitude is unhealthy and counterproductive because I should acknowledge my feelings, so I shall try my best to continue.

The past 11 months has been a year of frustrations. Nothing huge, but still frustrating.

Firstly, family stuff. In December 2004 my grandmother was admitted to hospital. We found out she had multple myeloma [a cancer of the white blood cells]. Since she doesn't speak English, I was the one who told her the bad news and did all the admission paperwork. She's better now but it's a terminal illness and she will get worse.

Apparently an aunty of mine has Parkinson's, although since one side of my family is heavily into the idea of secrecy [even when there is no apparent point to hiding], we aren't really sure. Rather confusing.

I'm currently living with my parents. I have a weird relationship with my parents in that my father and I just can't get along. Well, we would have a better relationship if he didn't feel the need to belittle me often, or use me to vent his frustrations. Also, when my father is with my mother, he acts as though I don't exist  ;)

Now, the physical stuff. Firstly I found out my eyesight will permanently exclude me from various occupations, even though by medical standards, my eyesight is only moderately bad. I still don't quite understand the logic behind my permanent exclusion - I'm allowed out on the roads piloting a potential killing machine, so how much of a "hazard" can I be?

Currently I have an issue with the ulnar nerve in my right hand. According to my GP it is ulnar nerve entrapment - similar to carpal tunnel but affecting a different nerve in the hand. I have to see an orthopedic surgeon in a fortnight, and apparently I might need surgery. Typing and doing everyday stuff is painful at times but I can't stop doing either. My work and study heavily involves computer use, and I'm right-handed so I have to use utensils with my right hand, etc.

All of the above is starting to wear me down. It's also frustrating because no-one seems to understand how much all of the above is affecting me. It makes me feel alienated.

Well, my wrist is starting to flare up again :) so I'll leave it here.

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sometimes the little things in life have a combined impact that is just as bad as something you find more server.

never feel that someones situation is worse then yours, its different. i really believe that. sure somethings are really bad but that doesnt make your problems any less serious!!

So long as u arent being an ass acting more important then all others people will understand that u r under a lot of stress and combined these issues are taking there toll on you.

dont feel undeserving and if u do just PM me your rant cause i never think anyones problem is too small or insignficant.

BTW that is messed up about your grandma i lost my grandma 2yrs ago we were very close and having a family member with a terminal illness is something any caring person would sympathise and empathise with. Good luck to u, and my best wishes for her

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Grrl away, you are so right.  It's the small things in life that can really make our life miserable.  But many of the things you've got going on are not small things.  Never hesitate to post here.  I've posted for much smaller things than what you mentioned. It just helps to be heard.

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