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Hello everyone, I was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position to me and what they did,

I have had anxiety problems most of my life, periods of depression etc but the past 3 years have been hell, I have terrible mood swings ups and down I have been self harming and think of suicide every day.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, I have been seeing him for about 2 years after being diagnosed with severe depression by my gp, he dishes out various anti depressants if they don't work double them then double again etc etc then on to another one, they have never worked and most of them make me paranoid or very agitated etc

I can take no more of these mood swings and asked him yesterday to please listen and tell me if there may be something more wrong, he eventually said, oh its definetly more than depression but why do you need a diagnosis?

I cant understand why he thinks a person does not need to know what is wrong with them, surely he needs to know so he can give me the right treatment, however he finally told me I have either bipolar 2 or personality disorder.

I can see that I could have either or even both if that's possible and now hes giving me antipsychotics.

What worries me is if I take these when hes not sure whats wrong (and seems to think it does not matter that I know for sure what is wrong) they could potentially make me worse, my down periods are getting more severe and I know if I get any lower I wont recover.

I know I am not going to get any proper help from the psychiatrist other than years of try one tablet then another, I appreciate his time and feel guilty for not trusting him but I really don't, ive had terrible withdrawal from some meds, I am thinking of going back to my gp just to explain that im scared hes not listening and I know im getting worse,

is this a common thing when trying to find the proper diagnosis? am I expecting too much?

all I know if that if things continue like this I wont be here much longer, and I don't know where to turn for help,

thankyou for taking the time to read this and sorry if its a big jumbled mess

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Maybe you could tell your psychiatrist that its important for you to know your diagnosis so you can educate yourself about the best way to deal with your illness.  I think its quite reasonable to want to know your diagnosis.

 

As for the way he prescribes meds, perhaps it would be helpful if you started keeping a log of how much of a medication you are on versus what symptoms you have.  Its usually not an "all or nothing" thing.  You may find that you are actually experiencing some symptom improvement on a particular med.  I'm not saying this is definitely the case, but it could be why your doctor is treating you the way he is.  

 

Does your psychiatrist know that you have b/c paranoid and/or agitated while taking some of the meds?

 

I'm sorry that things feel so bad and hope that you and your doctor are able to communicate more clearly and that you find some meds that work for you.

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