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Another Mixed State Question, Sorry

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I didn't want to hijack the other threads, but I've had some really strange stuff going on for the last week or so and I don't know what's happening.


For instance the night before last I couldn't sleep at all and I felt really elated and as though I was on a special mission and there were messages about this everywhere. Then somehow during the day it changed into an overwhelming desperation and the feeling that I just couldn't cope. I had a revelation that I was being punished and I deserved to be punished, and that everyone despised me, and rightly so, because I was full of sin. I did manage to sleep last night but I woke up this morning feeling terrified and guilty. I have been sick and shaky all day, with these thoughts of suicide being put into my mind which are scaring me and I am trying to ignore because I don't want to die. But now I seem to be feeling pretty good again, and I want to stay up all night and clean my house. I also want to spend money - not just randomly, but there is a poster I saw a few weeks ago and now my mind is obsessed with the idea that I really need that poster, that it is very important spiritually that I should have that poster on my wall, that it will somehow bring me strength. (I'm not normally a spiritual person)


Does this sound like a mixed state? I've never experienced one before so I don't understand why I should be having one now if it is.


I just feel rather upset about all this, because I can tell things aren't quite right with me, and I had been doing really really well and feeling good.

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That sounds like rapid cycling - altering between hypo/mania and depression.


Rapid cycling can be dangerous. You should get help and not try to just deal. Things can worsen. Call your pdoc or go to the hospital ER. If you are on meds, they need to be adjusted.

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Thanks for the reply AnneMarie. Would I just start rapid-cycling like that? I've always tended to have fairly long episodes of one state or another. I did try to get some help today, but I'm being bounced between teams and it seems like no one is willing to support me. But I began taking a very small dose of haloperidol a couple of days ago, so maybe that will help.

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Hey Chaos:

I'm a rapid cycler/mixed state all the time. I actually don't really know what it's like to be on one pole or the other. -- Not purely at least.

Obviously mixed states are the two pushed together in some form, but there are quite a few cocktails. So I'll just tell you what I've found to help me?

The first important thing, and I cannot stress this enough, is sleep. Get it. Get on sleeping meds, melatonin, some kind of sleep aid. It breaks up my rapid cycle. I can cycle round about 3 times a day, but my cycle usually follows a pattern once a day. Also, it doesn't have to be at night or on a normal schedule. When you feel tired -- and it will probably hit you at weird times? Take a nap. It's weird how much it helps. But it's super important that you sleep when you feel tired and that when you feel yourself start to go up  -- if it's at night -- to get sleep aid and get to bed.

Which sucks, it's the last thing I want to do.


Are the suicidal thoughts like...a mantra in your head? More like a compulsive thought? Or do they come solely from a shame/ depressed cycle?


Haha, about the poster...My husband calls this "getting past the barrier". When something gets past my barrier, so to speak, I cannot let it go, and I become obsessive over it. I am far from OCD.

Watch yourself when you can't say no. Ask yourself when you want something if you could say no. If you can't it's a huge red flag in a Mixed State ( I guess I don't know if it is in other states, but it's HUGE for me).


If you have someone you trust, have them sort of keep tabs on  you.


As far as doctors, I've found that for me, it always seems to be a certain lingo you have to use to get them to pay attention to you. Even the best of them. Many of them are reticent in believing in rapid cycling or mixed, at least around here... so that may be one barrier you are running into.


I hope this helps?


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I agree with AnneMarie


Have you brought any of this up with your Dr.?  That is a fabulous place to start.  Especially with the suicidal stuff. in Mixed, my sleep always gets looked at first, then the agitation is next. Usually both are treated with adjusting my Seroquel dose and it helps temporarily, whild we tweak endlessly with the other stuff.


Mixed is slightly different to different people. Such as, I have never,ever had a mixed state with elements of euphoria in it. never. It is always dysphoric.  Even when I am rapid cycling, it is dysphoric and just plain scary. 


If it truly is rapid cycling and you are in a mixed state and you are suicidal, you need to get in contact with your Dr. now.  You have the energy to actually do something, which is what makes it more dangerous.  anyway, get a Dr. to look at you. this stuff can be complex for other people and I certainly am not a Dr. I just know how it hits me.


Good luck.

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Thanks everyone, this is all really helpful. It's just confusing because my mood has never switched round like this. I was flying this morning and convinced I was a psychopath by the afternoon. At least I managed not to buy the poster, and I'm distracting myself from the suicidal thoughts with jigsaws and colouring in, and music to drown them out. I haven't had any luck getting help yet, but my haloperidol dose is supposed to be increased next week, so maybe that will help. Thanks again.

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