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today I don't need help!


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Do you ever find yourself defeated, as if get hurting myself is what works so I so do it.

I am having more and more of those days. I will spend forever and a day telling myself. Hey this isn't bad it's my dirty little secret. I don't know how to deal with those days. The days I have no reason to hurt myself but I search for a trigger anything. I will search photos of self harm read stories of it.

It's so hard not to glorify what helps me. It's hard not to go into details of my ritual my ttools. It's hard not to talk about how great it feels.

If it feels so great and works so Well then why am I so ashamed to look for help. I find it easier to look for reasons to hurt myself than it is to look for reasons why I shouldn't.

Am I stuck lIke this Because I'm to lazy, Because I choose to be or am I just in a rut right now

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I know this feeling. It's insidious, isn't it? It always finds ways to catch you off guard and to be seductive. It tries to minimize that you're really doing something quite serious.

This is exactly why we don't glorify here, or go into detail. Because it's hard not to! It's a good and healthy challenge, and I'm glad to see that you're able to raise to the task even when you're struggling. You're already so far. You can keep going.

 

SI works. It absolutely does. We wouldn't be doing it if it didn't. It's a coping mechanism, albeit an unhealthy one. It is very hard to swap out an unhealthy coping mechanism without having something healthy to put in its place. That's why asking for help is so important. Even if you feel ashamed.

 

I don't think that you're lazy. I think that you're just in a rut. Without someone to help to pull you out of the rut it's even harder. I hope that you can get the courage to reach out and to get help.

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