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What I want and what I'm going to do

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What I Want


I want to accelerate my car off the road.


I want to go to a party and talk to lots and lots of people and get very very drunk.


I want to spend lots of money.


I want to stand on the seats in the marketplace in town and declaim to the people. And take all my clothes off.


I want to have sex. Lots of it. Sex with strangers. Sex in public places. Sex with several people at once.


What I'm Going To Do


Stay inside and lock the door.


Not allow myself to go into town.


Turn off the computer so I can't do any online shopping or sign up to any more dating sites.


Not buy any wine.


Try to sit down and concentrate on a jigsaw or something (going to be a tough one that!)

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Are you taking the increased haloperidol?  I have no idea how long it's supposed to take to kick in, but you really do NOT sound like you can wait until Friday to speak to your CPN again.  How about calling now, this morning?

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If you do get on the computer come and type here. It's a great outlet. In manic times I have written long pontificating or witty posts in forums just to express myself among people I can trust to understand.. It satisfies my need for company (and talking) in a safe space.


I can't now remember what you have written in other posts, but I assume you are waiting for medication to work to bring this to a safe, gentle landing, rather than an almighty crash?

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Hey everyone, thanks for the replies, I just wanted to let you know what's going on with me.


The crazy impulses have lessened so I'm less likely to get myself into trouble but I'm also rapidly becoming less functional, because I'm moving into what I think of as the next phase when I just become incapacitated and overwhelmed by the feelings of ecstacy and euphoria. I just hope it doesn't escalate further into the kind of psychosis I had last time.


I'm still having the same old problems with regards to getting care. My CPN was supposed to call me today and didn't. But I have an appointment with her on Tuesday so I'll be able to talk to her then.

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