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New to admitting crazy

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My name is Nikki and I am new to admitting I may have some sort of mental issue.  Please bear with me I jump around A LOT.  I have always know there was something unusual about my brain other than anxiety and I have a son who has been diagnosed for years with several tags, but I never sought help for my own issues.  Over the last 2 years my husband and I have been seeing a marriage counselor and we joke that is my counseling session and my husband tags along for support and she has been guiding me through some of this.  Recently my sons pediatrician said we needed to have him see a new pdoc (his retired a few years ago) for medication.  We made an appointment with a Dr and in the first session he described adult ADHD and I started crying.  It was not the first time it had been suggested to me but it was the first time it hit home.  I talked about this with my councilor and she suggested making an appointment of my own and that she had been waiting for me to come to this realization.  I made my own appointment and within a 15 minute session the pdoc "diagnosed" me.  He put me on strattera and made me an appointment 2 months out.  I felt horrible side effects from the meds and called after a few days.  The nurse told me to take them at night to help curve the side effects so I tried that.  I felt HORRIBLE.  I lost interest in things I love and I became Super Bitch.  I was not myself at all.  When I missed one pill I have several anxiety attacks the following day and couldn't stand myself.  I called the Dr and the nurse made me feel like crap, like I was making it up and being ridiculous.  She said stop taking them and see you at your appointment IN A MONTH.  My councilor suggested calling back and insisting on a new med or an appointment within a week.  I did.  The stupid nurse made me feel like a drug seeker and like I was making it up again then talked to the Dr. He called in a prescription for Vyvance.  My insurance won't cover this because it is intended for people under the age of 18.  Now I'm afraid to call the Dr.  I am very lost.  I know what will work because a friend shared an Addiral with me and said see how this makes you feel.  I did. (I know that is wrong but I did)  I felt focused, my anxiety minimal, I got stuff done and I didn't lose anything that day (I lose everything from car keys to money, even threw away a paycheck once or twice).  I took it in the morning and was fine to go to bed by 10 p.m. I told my councilor about all of this and she suggested finding a new pdoc for one and seeing a regular physician for medication regulation (since I see her weekly).  Can someone please give me some advice.  I have been living with this for all my life and now that I truly realize that I am not alone and I can get help for my crazy brain I want answers.  I am not comfortable with the pdoc nurse and I don't think the pdoc really cares.  He didn't even realize he saw me at my son's appointment less than 24 hours before mine and reintroduced him self for the 3rd time.  I feel more lost than when I started.  


Sorry if I rambled, I do that lots.



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First of all, welcome to CB! :) I'm glad you found us. 


It sounds like you've had a heck of a time lately, getting the right meds and seeing the right docs. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time getting the help you feel you need. I'm sorry the nurse was rude to you too. That's the last thing you need when you're experiencing frustrating side effects. If you're looking for comments about ADHD, may I direct you to our ADHD board? I am sure many people here will be able to relate to your experiences. I have ADHD myself, and I can already relate to some of what you've posted. If you have specific questions, the ADHD board is really a great place to ask. I hope we can help you find the answers you're looking for. 


Just a nit picky thing, but could you possibly break your post up into paragraphs? Many people will see the wall of text and just not be able to read it. We have many people here with attention difficulties and other difficulties that cause them not to be able to read a wall of text. 


Also, we ask that you please read the User Agreement, as it sums up how we run around here. :)


Again, welcome to CB! 

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Welcome to Crazyboards!  I hope you like hanging out with us and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.


I am one of the people who can't read large blocks of text, but I promise I will do it if you can just use the edit function and make some paragraph breaks.  I like to read introductions for all of our new members so I know a little bit about them.


I'm glad you're here and I hope we can offer some support.



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