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I write. Not as much as I should, but that's going to change. However, I've never been published as a fiction writer, so I decided to do something about it.

 

Many of you here probably suffer from anxiety-related issues. So d I. No matter how calm and cool I ever am on the outside, I'm usually one step away from falling apart on the inside, even with meds. I know it's going to take a while for my brain synapses to stitch themselves back into a workable pattern, so I'm trying to be patient. Meanwhile I'm doing the best I can to help the process along by being more creative.

 

As I said, I write. And after several months of letting self-doubt rule me, I finally sent a story off to an online magazine. It's the second time I've done it with this story, but I think I have a shot of it being accepted. According to one of the editors, I can only send in one story at a time. I'm going to try to use this as an excuse to write one story a week. 

 

I'm terrified. I hate picturing being laughed at. I keep thinking of all the things wrong with me, and how messed up my life is right now. And then I remember that Dickens had depression, and Jane Austen was probably bipolar. Stephen King? A verbally abusive drunk who was a second-rate school teacher from a small town in Maine. JK Rowling? Poor, and at one point on the dole. James Baldwin was a disaster area. So was Hemingway. My hero, Steve Jobs, was bipolar like me. 

 

I am not a failure. I'm having a great opportunity to learn. I can turn this bug into a feature. Right now I am neither manic nor depressed (I actually write better when depressed than when I'm manic, and I write best of all when I'm stable like I am now), which means it's a great time to write. 

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Crazy artists unite :P lol

 

But no seriously. While we have this minds-eye of the crazy, we might as well use it! I personally believe that my bipolar helps my creativity flow easier, or deeper, depending on my mind state.

 

But good luck Commons! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you :) as well as all my fellow crazy artists out there who have that boldness to ignore the negative thoughts and assertions. 

 

P.S. I was thinking about making a anonymous art blog somewhere online, I just don't know how to go about that. Anyone have any ideas?

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