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Things are ramping up really really fast and I'm starting to get a little scared. I called the helpline at the hospital and they wanted to call me an ambluance but I really don't want that so I agreed to come back into the house and lock the door and they will try to get me some help in the morning. Just don't know how on earth to bring myself down!!!

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I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling. Is there maybe a friend or family member that can take you to the hospital? If you are in danger of hurting yourself, please go to the hospital. Please get help. 

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I really think you should consider calling the helpline back and going to the hospital now. If the hospital thought you were in a bad enough state to warrant going there, then you probably are. 

 

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, I hope you can get to the hospital soon. 

 

Have you tried laying in a dark room with no sounds? Do you have any family or friends you can call to help take care of you, or just be with you right now?

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I'm not in danger of hurting myself. I'm just really scared they're going to section me because I don't have any food in the fridge, but I've put some flour in the fridge so hopefully they won't do that. Don't have any family or friends who can help me. I just can't go the hospital, I really can't.

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Werehorse I've seen you struggle w/ this stuff for a while now.  I really think you'd benefit from some closer, specialized treatment.  Flour is not actually food either.  If you are so ill that you are unable to nourish yourself, you just may need more intensive treatment, as scary as that is.

 

I've been IP twice now and it's certainly no picnic.  It's way, way better if you go voluntarily though, I'll say.  There are things that are scary and there are things that I despise about it, but IP treatment has its uses as well and those can be incredibly beneficial.

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I'm not sure they'd offer me IP treatment anyway, because of lack of beds/funding, they tend to only hosptialise people who are seriously suicidal and in imminent danger. I'm just frustrated because they said last night they would organise some help for me, and they haven't. This is what happens, over and over again, you call for help and it doesn't happen. Even just some sleeping tablets right now would be useful.

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Do you have a pdoc you can call? He/she might be able to prescribe something to help you sleep.

 

Ditto what others have said re: seriously considering IP. If you're swinging up into mania, sleep will help some, but you'll need further medications to bring you back down.

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I keep seeing you being promised treatment that never arrives. I can't imagine how frustrating that is. Been seeing you fight the good fight for too long. Just wishing/hoping you'md take them up on other treatment offers - even when those can have shitty parts they can still sometimes have use as well.

In any case I do hope the best for you, as always. If you need to chat, try the live chat. If there are active mods in there, and hell most users do this too, priority will go to the person in crisis (so long as there isn't already a crisis in progress.)

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You don't know if they'll offer you IP until you ask. Going IP can be very scary, I went when I was a teenager, I went in kicking, screaming and fighting, but in the end, I did not regret going there. Being IP can really give you a safe space to calm down and get down. I know how scared you must be of going IP, but given the situation you seems to be in, it might really help you get down from the high you are riding. And even if hospital food sucks, it will be better than flour.  ;) They can also get you meds to bring you down, that's what they have experience with.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. 

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Yeah, it's very frustrating. I'm usually self-aware enough, at least to start with, that things are getting out of hand, but services are shockingly slow to respond. And they frequently don't follow through on what they promise re support and treatment, it's happened to me more times than I can remember.

 

And it's not as simple as just asking/wanting to go to IP. When I was very unwell in January and the police cuffed me and dragged me to A&E the pdoc just sent me home with 5mg diazepam and the promise of some follow-on support that never happened!!

 

But I am going to see my CPN this morning, so we'll see what she suggests.

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Things aren't great here in the UK. Mental health services have always been underfunded anyway, and there have been even more cuts recently.

 

Just to show you how poorly the system functions, I saw my CPN this morning and she had no idea I had called the helpline, even though they work in the same building.

 

Anyway, I am now to take 3mg haloperidol three times a day, and have another appointment next Monday, so maybe that will help a bit.

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Thanks Cheese :) Yes, I'm really hoping the haldol does enough to pull me out of it so I don't end up getting myself into trouble and can go back to functioning relatively normally. It's pretty frustrating right now because I just can't do a lot of the things I like and want to do.

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