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Sometimes I feel like my ex destroyed my self esteem


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I know that I need to  be accountable for my own feelings about myself.

But ever since our relationship ended, I have not been the same person.

I was just constantly drilled to believe that I was terrible and worthless.

Since then it's been affecting the way that I feel about job opportunities, going in public, relating to people, etc.

I just don't feel like I am adept.

I don't want to play the blame game.

I just want to move on and feel better.

But I don't know where to start.

I've got pdoc and tdoc stuff set up, but there is SO MUCH to cover right now this might have to be put on the back burner.

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Don't ever put yourself n the back burner. You are worth so much more. 

 

I havent had a lot of therapy, but the one thing I have found is putting pen to paper - no matter how hard it is to get going ... Always ends up showing me things about myself I didn't even realize I thought or felt. It is very weird. As if I can tap into my sub concious I can't by just thinking. 

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If this is bothering you now, I think it is worth bringing up with your tdoc now.  He/she might even have some quick suggestions, questions, or books to read that might be useful. 

 

I think a good starting point could be to make a list about your good qualities and abilities and to try to identify times at which you feel most confident.  The more you feel successful as you go out in public, search for jobs, and relate to others, the more likely you are to re-gain the self-esteem you feel you lost.  Reconnecting with people in our lives and identifying our core values are key ways of recollecting who we are and what other people see in us.

 

I'm sorry your self-esteem has taken a hit.  You are not terrible or worthless, and I hope you come to see that.

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