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Too fat to do crossfit


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Let me preface this post with the fact that I have a weight problem. I really do. I lost 73 pounds last year, and gained 15 of it back when I went off of Topamax, and I am now competely unable to drop the 15 again. Just won't move. I tried Weight Watchers. I hated it-I also have a thyroid problem, so when I do lose, it's like, .05 pounds at a time. Maybe less. Every time I'd weigh in they acted like I'd GAINED weight if it was less than 3 pounds. Complete with rolling of the eyes.

 

So.

 

I started doing crossfit. Crossfit is super high intensity circuit training, and I loved it. I was doing it for 2 months, and not one pound dropped. Nothing. Nada. I was disappointed in myself, but apparantly, 2 of the trainers were even more disappointed with me. One of them looked at me, and turned to another trainer and said, "I think we need to start setting goals here."

 

And then another trainer approached me at a separate time, calling me, "Big Girl."

 

I went home and cried, and now I can't stop eating. This is obnoxious. Any tips on how to stop bingeing? Or how to deal with this? It's all emotional, I feel shamed, the whole bit. I quit going, because as the title of this post says...I'm too fat to do crossfit, apparantly.

 

 

 

 

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Have you seen the Dove commercial 'You are More Beautiful than You Think'?  It's made for you right now.

 

I think you need to not worry about how others see you.  In a culture which makes anorexic women idolatry I wouldn't give one damn what anyone thinks of me as in my size.  I'm not morbidly obese but could use to loose a few pounds as I have the love handles common of men in their forties.  I really don't give a damn what anyone thinks of my body and I think you should also not give a damn of what anyone thinks of your body.

 

Don't let the bastards wear you down or win! 

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That is utter shit.  Fuck them and find another crossfit gym.

 

I'm now a normal BMI, but at the high end, but I am still huge for an ultramarathoner and I have lost 35lbs, so I started out from another place.  But even when I was at my biggest running, people didn't make me feel like shit for my size (I did that all on my own, but seriously). 

 

Fitness comes in all shapes.

 

My massage therapist is an ex-rugby player, and he was a prop, so we're not talking a small guy, and he does crossfit now.  He's dropped in size, but that's not what he gets out of it, he loves the new accomplishments.  Nobody makes him feel like shit for not being a tiny guy.

 

So fuck those assholes and find a new crossfit gym where people aren't twats. 

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I don't even know how to say thank you, and I mean what's in my heart. You lightened my spirit considerably, Jam. You really did. I have to let what that guy said to me go, because it is eating me up inside. I literally have that thing going where I don't want to walk out of the house because I feel too fat. Mind you, I'm just overweight. Not obese anymore. Just garden variety overweight, AND I'm tall.

 

But blech. You're right. Fuck that guy.

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I totally get it.  I'm not technically overweight any more and sometimes I don't want to go out, b/c I still feel big. 

 

I think the thing is, doing activities that we enjoy, and meeting our goals, is worthwhile in and of itself, and stuff we can feel good about.  A change in shape is almost secondary to that.  Being active hopefully makes us happy with us, though that's always a hard journey. 

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I totally get that feeling of not wanting to leave the house because I feel too fat too.

Exercise is supposed to make you feel better about yourself and not worse! I agree that you should let it all slide off your back like the slime it is! Don't give it another thought even. Don't let it win and take over your day(s).

You are better and stronger and brighter than that.

Also wanted to say that even though doing the crossfit didn't make you lose any weight id be willing to bet that you lost some inches by toning up and became stronger. Even if you didn't, you loved it and I agree that you should find a different gym and give it another go. You are making your body healthy and strong by doing it. And that is where the reward lies!

Keep up the good work and I hope you can feel even a bit better about things by venting here! Take care!

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The Dove commercials, I was emailed by another member here as not everyone has seen them, is pro all women are beautiful and all women of all sizes, shapes and heights and  weights are beautiful.  So just to clear it up for those not having seem them it's Dove as in the soap not Dove as in the candy.  It's a pro all women are beautiful campaign.

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I really felt powerful when I was doing that crossfit, I really did. I found a normal gym that doesn't have trainers-it's $10/month. Nobody bothers you there. I've only been once, because I'm finding it hard to leave the house like a normal person these days, lol. What that stupid ass said to me spiraled me into a depression, and I can't climb out of it. I'm seriously just..ugh!

 

Yes, this venting made me feel a little bit better about things! Thank you so much for listening to me. It means the world. I haven't really verbalized this to anyone irl, because I feel so ashamed that it was said to me.

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Honestly, I think the "big" problem here is with the trainers rather than you and your weight. You shouldn't be shamed for your weight plateauing (which happens very frequently, especially with women) and they should be much more professional than that. It sounds like you really enjoy doing exercise and I think that's the most important thing, even if you don't lose tons of weight fast, the fact that you feel good about doing it is great.

 

Also important to note that BMI calculators are pretty much useless and don't take muscle and body type into account - I'm willing to bet considering all the exercise programs you've done that you have a lot of muscle. Some people have a naturally higher weight and that does not mean they are ugly/unfit or deserving of abuse (this is why I hate the term "overweight" - everyone's different). If you feel healthy and you're eating a varied and nutritious diet then you're obviously treating your body well. Bingeing is something that is incredibly difficult to beat, but a big part of the urge to binge revolves around putting yourself down for not being naturally thin or easily losing weight - if you try to work past those damaging thought patterns then you'll move towards a healthier relationship with food.

 

People are very discriminatory and shaming of people for their body type - some people will degrade you for being ten pounds overweight, and then as soon as you lose ten pounds too many there's something wrong with you for starving yourself. You can't win, and people will always be assholes about it. It's important that you are proud of yourself for all the work you have done to lose all that weight and keep yourself in good shape. Your body is beautiful as it is whether you gain or lose twenty pounds, and if other people can't see it then there's something wrong with them. 

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Exercise is good for you regardless of whether you lose weight or not. It's good for your brain. And if doing Crossfit was making you feel powerful, then by all means find another gym where the people aren't asshats. In fact, when you're signing up, tell the new people what happened at the old gym and if they aren't horrified, then they can get stuffed, too.

 

BMI is a pile of shit. According to the BMI, my husband is morbidly obese. It doesn't take into account that his small paunch is attached to broad shoulders, legs like sequoia trees, and the overall muscularity of a pit bull. My friend T. has the exact same problem. Muscle is heavy. Maybe your weight plateaued because you were building muscle faster than you were burning fat.

 

Anyway, I'm sorry they were dicks to you. Feel free to pee in their flowerbeds.

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I am sad to read that you experienced put downs at Weight Watchers, that is awful

I am a member and it is working well for me, and every one is nice and encouraging

 

and the trainer who called you Big Girl??  I would like slap him on your behalf, he is an ass

 

A family oriented gym like the YMCA might be a better environment for you,

and our Y has Cross fit, I believe

 

you might be building muscle, you can become slimmer and maintain the same weight

especially if you are healthy enough to do such high intensity exercise

 

how are your clothes fitting?

Edited by bpladybug
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I was really sad that Weight Watchers side eyed me all over the place, too. I had pretty great success with them before...while I was on topamax. Then my hair started falling out, and I went off of that pretty quick.

 

My clothes fit no differently than they did before crossfit. It's really frustrating. In fact, as time went on, and others became more able, I felt stuck. Even when I ran, I felt like I was behind, period. It just sucked. I don't know if the reason behind my plateau and gain is because of my thyroid, but I have a doctor's appointment on Monday to discuss the bloodwork.

 

I can't tell you how much better this thread has made me feel. Thank you all so much. From the bottom of my heart.

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Hello to another weight watchers survivor! I'm sure it works for most people but they do seem to look at you funny if you have maintained or lost less than 1lb (unless you're near your goal and then they seem to accept 1/2 a lb). 

 

The crossfit people sound horrid, but I agree, don't let their rudeness put you off, keep changing groups and you'll finally find some people who are mature enough to be around. Chin up! :-)

 

Also, if you've been doing crossfit, you could have been losing fat and gaining muscle mass, also if you push yourself too much and start using muscles you're not used to using you store water in them for ages. If you're wanting to lose weight always measure! Don't always weigh yourself as it can get you down. There were weeks at weight watchers where I lost nothing but lost an inch overall. 

 

So long as you feel good and you're happy, f@#! what anyone else things :-)

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73 pounds lost is a huge achievement, even if you gained some back. A lot of people gain weight back after a large loss. You've probably gained some muscle too, which weighs more than fat.

 

You aren't too fat to do crossfit. The trainers can fuck off and you can take your money and business elsewhere! That's not a way to gain trust as a trainer, or to do business. It's obnoxious. Finding a trainer or gym that can work with you is your best bet. BMI is bullshit.

 

I wouldn't blame you for a binge, if I get upset I tend to binge as well. It sucks. There are some good books on controlling binges, one I've read is called Crave. There are a lot of online resources. Good luck!

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I am morbidly obese and a lifelong binger, so I definitely understand the shame aspect, as well as the unkindness of others.

 

If I were you, I would write a letter to the management of the gym and tell them what happened, and name names, be very specific.  Even if you don't know the names, you could say, "on date x at about time y..."  If it's a chain of gyms, I would write the corporate office and copy the local gym.  The people who did this to you should be disciplined and trained in basic customer service.  Maybe they watched too many episodes of "Biggest Loser"  (which I hate, by the way), and think it's a good idea to be mean to people.  

 

I would also fantasize about knocking them to the ground and suffocating them with my "big girl" big ass, but that's just me.

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One thing that has helped me is asking myself the simple question, "What is fit?"

 

For me, fitness is feeling stronger, feeling my feet pound the ground while I run, feeling powerful, feeling connected to my own body and its potential, feeling sweat drip off my skin, etc.

 

Don't let those ignorant trainers define what fitness is for you.  It doesn't have to boil down to a number on a scale or a certain clothing size.  It's whatever feels meaningful to you.

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I asked myself basically the same question as lifequake. Fit for me is having the energy and stamina to do whatever it is I want to do (and that could easily include a 100km bike ride). To do that I need to expend roughly that level of energy on a fairly regular basis. Why does it matter what I look like while doing so?

Here is a saying that I've dropped around the boards before. Feel free to use it to haters' faces: I don't exist to decorate your world. I exist to live in mine.

If living in your world includes something that you like, like crossfit, then do crossfit. How can someone be too big for that?

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I cannot express how wonderful it is to be able to talk about what went on, and how I really feel about it. There are no words for how much lighter my heart is at this point!

 

The guy who called me big girl is indeed one of the owners of the crossfit box I was going to. The other girl, who said that we need to start setting goals here after looking at me, is his wife. I live in a small town, so that's about the only game around, right now. I went down the road and got a membership at an actual gym that is much, much cheaper. Problem is, I'm now so self concious, I can't make myself go.

 

In fact, I can barely bring myself to leave the house. When I do leave, I make sure to go to the store at like, 7 am, so I won't run into anyone. This is ridiculous. Let me just deepen this a little bit more by telling you that I just got a new pdoc-haven't met her yet, but she has all my charts from my old pdoc. Same center. I used to be on wellbutrin, and I asked to be put back on it, because let's face it-this is ridiculous. I am just so freaking sad. All the time. This lady was gracious enough to call in a prescription, but it's for 100 mg of SR once a day. I don't think it's doing anything at all after about a week and a half, because I sit and cry and night and can't sleep very well. Stupid trainer spiraling me into this horrid depression. I just feel so bad about myself. I see her on Wednesday, so I hope she increases the dosage. Le sigh. Thank you for listening and responding. This site is literally my only tie to other people right now. That's how bad I am right now! Isolation city!

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This isn't going to a gym (though I'm glad you joined another), though you could go during non-peak times until you have your self-confidence back, but what about just going for walks early in the day or late at night?  Crossfit you do runs up to 5k right (my impression is 1ks to 5k)?  You could do this from your house when it's quiet.

 

Not that you should be feeling self-concious, I'm not saying that or trying to encourage that, but as someone who is often really embarrassed about how I look, but loves to run, I have found that helpful.  And the more I do it, then I start to forget and can go out at other times.

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