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Anxiety friendship


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Okay I know i don't have this on my sig and my doc and I have never really talked about my S A. Because I have been so focused on OCD for five years because the anxiety compared to SA social anxiety is laughable compared to a pure o spike. but, anyways. My roommate brought over this man who is six years younger then I am.....He said all I want is a friend. He made eye contact as I could barely look at him or shake his hand. I have avoided stores churches and public places I rarely go to. I have thought about this before but today it really struck me as to why I have always avoided things like this because i want to feel no fear and what bit of anxiety it does give me.....I know there are many signs with SA that I seem I don't have but I have been this way my whole life. The only time that I can rememeber when I had confidence was when I was hypomanic. Other then that......I have shy'd away from social situations my whole life.....I always thought ppl where going to notice my shaking voice when I first meet them or how I can't make eye contact and when I do it's only for a second. while there still staring at me making me feel even more stupid. My dad suffers from social phobia and has admitted it. The world scares him, he say's. I think being cramped in my room for years has made me feel very small IDK. guy's. This is just the first time in a long time it has happened because he wants to come over tonight and have a few drinks. Which I don't drink.....And now I'm worried about that. ERRR I can't seem to just relax.

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