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Guilt over being on so many meds


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I'm glad to have finally found the cocktail that I currently have, which is large  (see sig).  I dont care how many meds I need to be on though; whatever will work I will take.  I hate when I am psychotic/depressed/manic/etc. and the number of meds I take over rule that.

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Would  you feel guilty if you had diabetes and were on many meds which worked to give you a good life and improved health and wellness? If you had any physical condition needing many meds to restore and help you live a better life would you feel guilty?  MI is the same thing.  If these meds work, help you and you feel better and alive then please, please do not feel guilty. 

 

I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need.  Please don't bash yourself for taking medications for an illness.  You are pro active and taking care of your MI.  There is nothing to feel guilty about.  Be well, Stay well. Don't bash yourself as there isn't any reason to bash yourself.  I wish all people with MI were as pro active in their treatment as you are.  You are setting a great example of personal responsibility to others with MI.  Give yourself a pat on the back as you deserve it.  Take good care.

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I know how you feel. I'm on 7 psych meds alone. Plus some physical meds. I don't know if physical is the right word but it is all I can think of right now.

My husband and I pay for my meds using mail order pharmacy. That saves on cost by a long shot. Is this an option for you and your family?

I was on just Paxil too for a while when I was a child/young teen. So I also understand that feeling of wanting to be on just one med and be done with it or pills for the day.

But it's important to remember that if you are feeling better and not manic or psychotic then that's a huge accomplishment of your med cocktail.

I think it's a bummer to take and pay for so many pills but it beats being psychotic or manic or depressed by a long shot.

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Thank you everyone for your replies.

What you said makes a lot of sense, Brian, and I hadn't thought of it that way before. I don't feel bad about taking meds for my sleep disorder, so why should I feel bad about taking meds for my MI? Thanks for the kind words.

Yes, I get some of my meds through mail order, and that does save us money. Some of them I get at the regular pharmacy.

You're right. I'm feeling pretty good on these meds at the moment, and I should be glad that they're working instead of beating myself up over having an illness. It's sure better than being manic or psychotic, like you said, wonderful.cheese.

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Something my therapist said yesterday really speaks to this. She said the best thing I can do for my parents (who have supported me in one way or another all my life) is to take care of myself, so they don't have to worry about me not being able to hold a job or taking my own life.

 

Taking care of yourself first sounds very selfish I guess, but I also know it's true. I went off my meds last year and ended up in the hospital. I thought my mother was fine, but she told me later it was one of the worst times of her life because she was so worried. I don't want to put her through that again. I also know that with my father - who has a lot of health problems - one of the things I am most grateful for is that he takes care of himself and follows the doctors' instructions. That's a huge burden off my mother and me not to have to wonder and worry about that.

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Something my therapist said yesterday really speaks to this. She said the best thing I can do for my parents (who have supported me in one way or another all my life) is to take care of myself, so they don't have to worry about me not being able to hold a job or taking my own life.

 

Taking care of yourself first sounds very selfish I guess, but I also know it's true. I went off my meds last year and ended up in the hospital. I thought my mother was fine, but she told me later it was one of the worst times of her life because she was so worried. I don't want to put her through that again. I also know that with my father - who has a lot of health problems - one of the things I am most grateful for is that he takes care of himself and follows the doctors' instructions. That's a huge burden off my mother and me not to have to wonder and worry about that.

That makes a whole lot of sense.

In the past I have gone off of my meds in an attempt to go manic (so irresponsible) or just forgot to take them. Now I set reminders and am careful to take them every single day. I can feel a difference even when I go a day without meds.

Your therapist is so right. We need to take care of ourselves.

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  • 2 weeks later...

yeah,up until very recently I wanted to "cleanse"myself of all the meds.

I had a change of heart.

I got a brief reminder of what it whats like going without Abilify ,and too little lamictal(I seem to need 400).

 

I think  have stopped caring about this kind of guilt.

but I know what you're saying.

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When my gdocs get anxious about my cocktail, I just roll my eyes. I may actually come off of Wellbutrin for pain considerations, but when my pain doc first suggested it, saying I was on a lot of meds, I said "All psychiatry is, is polypharmacy," and she answered, "True." And looked startled that I knew the word polypharmacy.

 

But after thinking about it, I had been wondering if Wellbutrin had begun to make me more anxious, and that its anti-depressant effect had weakened. My pdoc was for trying to go without it, but I need a new pdoc before I start meddling. But if he puts me on a replacement for Wellbutrin, I still won't be concerned (other than keeping an eye out for side-effects).

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