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My Emotional Immaturity


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I am emotionally immature according to my therapist, and I would like to change that. A lot of people with MI have this problem. Are there any books than any of you have found helpful in becoming more mature?

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I don't know that you can learn that from a book.  I think you learn it from life experience.

 

What has also helped me is observing other people, usually older people whom I respect

and watch how they handle discord, misunderstandings, and other inner personal conflict.

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Did your therapist say what the symptoms of emotional immaturity are?  Is it an attitude?  Is it a series of actions?  Or is it that whole "sheltered" thing?  Maturity of all stripes, except chronological, is strictly subjective and relative to the individuals being compared.  Before you start on a journey to become more of whatever label is being used, find out more about the criteria being used to rate the qualities.  ANd for that matter, find out what the benefits of becoming emotional mature are?  Should you take it even further to gather even greater results by becoming emotionally elderly?

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She hasn't really specified to be honest. Usually, she only brings it up when I mention my desire to have bariatric surgery, and she states my immaturity as a reason I'm not ready for it.

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That doesn't sound like the most helpful statement in the world. I'm with ElDorado on this one - there are a lot of very subjective components to what people mean by "maturity" - and not all of them are important or do you even necessarily want. And emotional maturity is such an abstract, general concept - I can't quite see the point in telling someone they're immature unless I meant to insult them.

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That is very strange.

When my tdoc wants to mention something like that, she will say something along the lines of how my response to something is very childlike. Then we can work on what a grown up would do in that situation. She helps us to grow up to adulthood that way, because in some areas the aging got a bit stalled.

I find it odd that your tdoc would give out such a blanket statement and not help you work on how to mature those areas to a more adult standard. Maybe you need to get more direction? Or ask for specifics?

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She hasn't really specified to be honest. Usually, she only brings it up when I mention my desire to have bariatric surgery, and she states my immaturity as a reason I'm not ready for it.

Hmm...

 

I am curious to know more about this connection. Does she think you won't be able to follow the dietary restrictions after bariatric surgery and therefore will make yourself ill? Or something else?

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I'm going waaay out on limb here, but I think there's a good chance that your therapists personal point of views/prejudices are showing.

I'm hoping you mean about bariatric surgery and not me or I'm in for some major headaches.

Edited by Timmer
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I'm going waaay out on limb here, but I think there's a good chance that your therapists personal point of views/prejudices are showing.

I'm hoping you mean about bariatric surgery and not me or I'm in for some major headaches.

 

 

Think about it for a moment, the surgery lies firmly in the domain of a medical doctor, particularly a surgeon.  Does your surgeon tell you what you should do about your therapy?  Maybe your surgeon doesn't even think you need therapy.  But does it really matter what the surgeon thinks about your MI treatment?  

 

Until people are willing to take a stake in something, to assume a portion of the responsibility, I don't assign too much weight to what they say.

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