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Just rediagnosed aspergers... Also question about stimming?


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As you can see in the previous post I made (Well actually I gave the wrong age) when I was 13 I was diagnosed with aspergers but rejected the diagnosis. I stopped seeing the therapist due to financial issues at the time (I think it had to do with insurance) so only my school knew which I started isolating myself from people and stopped attending and getting independent study-excuse used was mental illness. And I kept it a secret from my psychiatrist and my new therapist didn't know... Till now. And now so does my psyche.

 

This actually explains my bullying filled childhood. And also why I say the wrong thing in conversation. And so many other things. I once asked this girl who came up to me "Are you gay?" Because I'm gay and wearing a gay pride glove and she just randomly came up to me. And nobody ever came up and talked to me before that day. So I figured it was a reasonably question to ask. She laughed and said "Wow that was really blunt." I was embarrassed. I awkwardly introduced her to my own friends. I didn't know that wasn't something you did. I didn't realize it at the time but I realize now how uncomfortable she was. I was just so awkward the entire conversation. I stopped going to school shortly after so that friendship didn't last-lol like it had a chance. 

 

Also in the NOS section you'll see I made a post about tourettes. But now I'm thinking.... maybe it's stimming? Can someone explain stimming to me? I flick my thumb and index finger against each other with my other fingers pointing up and moving when there is stimuli. I also pace when I listen to music-I can't sit when I do it it's too much. Anyone?

Edited by Bipolar_Flower
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Hello Flower.

 

I am not diagnosed as an Aspie, but I do fall on the spectrum (in a weird sort of way). I have had my share of stimming though and I thought I would put in a reply.

 

On your NOS topic, I am the last one to reply. At the time I more read into the medications & diagnosis' in your signature (I am very new and do not know anybody's history). My reply basically said that it did not sound like TS however considering the multiple DXs & RXs it might have mimicked as such. I do still believe that, however stimming is a good thought & at the time I did not see that. And stimming actually makes a lot of sense in your regard.

 

Considering what you describe, it sounds like you do these motions when stressed, nervous or scared? That is pretty typical of ASD related stimming. Granted people with TS can tic more severely when stressed, however they also tic when they are not emotionally or mentally stimulated at all.

 

I also stim when stressed, nervous or scared. I also stim when I am very happy & excited. It used to be a lot different when I was younger to the point at times I would actually hurt myself or someone else (although not viciously or purposely). These days I have found more  "socially acceptable" stims, especially since I found music (doing almost what you describe, but with pencils, drumsticks or picks).

 

I hope that helps? As well as clear up some of my reply on your TS topic in NOS.

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Thank you Gibson! Yea it's not the meds. I've done this since I was 2-3 so it's not recent behavior. I'm just getting curious about it lol I do it both when I am stressed and excited. I guess it's not tourettes because while I do it a lot, I also listen to music a lot. Music=stims but otherwise I don't do it like a constant thing-except when I drink caffeine (I'm caffeine sensitive lol) and I've been doing that a lot lately too. Things make much more sense now! :) Again thanks Gibson!

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I stim when stressed, which could be something like anxiety but could also be something like... a bit of overstimulation, you know?  I also stim when bored, which can be stressful for me (or maybe it's connected more to my ADHD on this point.  Eh.)

 

I also stim when happy, excited, etc.

 

I wish I had more to contribute but I'm still doing a lot of self education about autism spectrum disorders, I mean I've read a fair amount already I just don't feel like I've built up my mental database enough to speak comfortably and confidently about the subject yet.  In addition my own diagnosis, though suspected for perhaps a year or so (or just under,) was only recently made official.

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Very sorry to hear that your Asperger's traits have been giving you issues (esp. the bullying, which I dealt with for years... I eventually became a bully myself for a short while).

 

Your conversation story is also interesting, although it sounds like the girl to whom the question was asked wasn't really put off by your bluntness.  She seems to be the kind of person who'd be a good type of friend for you to have (IMO).  Sad that you had to leave that school, and hopefully you'll find someone like her to be friends with in due time.

 

'Stimming' is also a great matter of controversy.  I don't know what the differences between Tourette's tics (which can be subtle) and stimming truly are -- they seem one and the same to me from what I've read.  Of course, that's just external appearance of behavior and most physical and mental traits in existence have multiple causes.

 

I can't listen to music without 'stimming', either (habit of 'thumb drumming' to the music here).  But then again, who *doesn't* actively engage in listening to music without bopping their head, singing along, playing the air drums/air guitar, etc.? =)  And, caffeine's known as a 'stimulant' for a reason.  I think stimming is the issue only when it takes the form of something those around you don't like.

 

We could easily write an academic review about "self-stimulation during rewarding experiences" and call this a disorder, but 95% of the population would get diagnosed with it if we didn't put cultural appropriateness into the picture.  :smartass:

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'Stimming' is also a great matter of controversy.  

 

 

The controversy around stimming appears to me to be about whether to distract from it, change it to one that may be less obvious so more acceptable (socially) or not.  

 

 

Word up.  I totally agree.  I guess a lot of my own stimming has changed to something more socially acceptable.  I do fidget/wring my hands too often still when I'm in meetings, which makes people think that I'm getting bored of listening to them, when in fact the real problem is that my mind is wandering and the signal of "fidgeting is not socially acceptable" got turned off.  Usually people don't mind my thumb drumming to music, though.  Better than air drums, especially if I'm driving!!

Edited by LikeMinded
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