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I just wrote this for my "Who am I?" page...figured I'd put it here as a way of introducing myself...found y'all yesterday and was very thankful I did.

Hello!

I am a 49 (as of this writing) y/o female, an RN by trade, currently unemployed x going on 10 years as a direct result of Major Depression/GAD and a host of bad luck. I had a complete breakdown in 2004 after a few years of traumatic events (divorce '97, VERY unfair job loss '97 -- (LONG story), dated a fellow who stole around 10K from me and when he found out I was going to the cops, committed suicide at my house '99, had to declare bankruptcy as a result, even though I had had perfect credit up until that point '99...father unexpectedly died with my three kids in the backseat '00...remarried '01, new husband suddenly sent to Iraq on a week's notice, for over a year --National Guard--'03...miscarried what would have been our only kid together a few months after he left, '03...and probably some other stuff in there I don't care to remember ...) 

Long story short, and looking back, I have always been a "cycler", with some awful lows (I attempted suicide when I was 17, my family swept it under the rug even though they were told I needed help), and lots of hypomanic episodes -- which I was able to handle, somehow. I have never had a true manic episode, although I think I've gotten close. My daughter, now 19, is just now starting to struggle with the cycling, it is heartbreaking...but that is another story. At any rate, I started having problems functioning in 1997..BAD brain fog was my first symptom of a real major depressive episode. I started with Prozac way back when, and have traveled through a host of meds since...in 2004 I started drinking to self-medicate, in utter frustration...hence, a couple DUIs and a whole host of legal problems, all cleared up now...my self esteem has been in the gutter and I have no family that gives a rat's ass...like they were ever helpful, though, so I'm okay with that...but it took me some years...

I more or less  have been brain dead for about 9 years...I totally lost my will to engage in society, ALL my creativity died (I'm a pretty decent artist)...yada yada...just in the past year have I managed to start refinding myself...there is NO WAY even a few years ago I could be writing all this...

That's all for the moment, there is a lot more...I hope to get to know some folks in here and also maybe get my daughter connected...we shall see...

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Hello and Welcome to Crazyboards!

 

It sounds like you have been through some incredibly awful ordeals.  I'm sorry for your losses.

 

I truly hope that you find what you need here; it is a very supportive community.

 

We do ask that all members read the User Agreement just so you know how things run here.

 

Wishing you peace.

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