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I tend to think about really dark often gruesome things. Like worst case scenario, what if, freak accident type things for certain situations. If I told my pdoc or family these things they would probably lock me up and never let me out again but I have mentioned a few of them. I was wondering if it is it normal to have such a vivid imagination or if it's more of a bipolar thing? I've also had really gory dreams. I scare the crap out of myself for no reason by thinking about it too much. 

 

I remember one dream in particular that I've had recently that I remember in a lot of detail because it scared me so much. I was driving somewhere in the middle of the night. It was a really dark two lane rode like I was in the country somewhere forested with lots of big trees and stuff. It was rainy. I came around this curve and another car was coming around in the opposite direction at the same time with no headlights on. I swerved to avoid them and then I pulled over to see if they were all okay. It was a car full of 4 teenage girls who's necks had been snapped. They didn't even hit anything. Then they started decomposing right there in the car. Then I woke up and I was like what the mother f was that...?

 

I guess it scares me the most when it's a dream because I tend to have premonition dreams anyway. It could be as simple as a dumb conversation I have with a friend that I dream about and then a week or a few months or so later I have this deja vu moment where I remember dreaming about it when it happens in real life. I don't know how many of you believe in that kind of thing but it happens to me all the time. 

 

I've especially had these thoughts right before we go on vacation or something. I've thought about my family getting into a car accident or plane crash or something where we all die with no real explanation for why it happened. I don't mean to sit there and think about it on purpose. It just kind of flashes into my mind and then I can't stop fretting about it. It's almost always irrational and totally random thoughts that are so unlikely to actually happen. 

 

Is this anxiety or depression related maybe? Is it normal? Half of me wants to believe everyone thinks like this every now and then but it can't possibly be normal. Can it? It doesn't really prevent me from doing anything though but it's definitely in the back of my mind. I feel like my brain is its own horror movie sometimes. Does anyone else have this?

Edited by littlemisschaos
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This happens to me too, like worrying about fires, floods, car accidents, going blind, people dying ... for me I think it from anxiety.  it doesn't prevent me from doing anything either but it is always in the back of my mind, so if a thought comes up I am sitting their thinking of 'what I would do' in that situation.  I guess that could be a good thing in a way, ie preparing for something, but also it might be too much and provoke the anxiety more.

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It's all about distractions! Bad thoughts will come...but there are ways to "not think" about them. I watch The Office or a funny movie to get my mind off of them. Whatever works for you will work for you... but sometimes that's the only thing I can do to keep them out of your head. It's hard when you're dreaming it but try some sleeping meds/melatonin if you haven't already. Or guided meditation before you go to sleep. I've got all sorts of ideas up my sleeve.

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I agree with melissa, it sounds anxiety-related and katie has a good idea in using distractions.  I also like the idea of using guided meditation.  I use passive muscle relaxation guided by a CD and it is amazing how it clears my mind.  Try not to get discouraged if you use a distraction and then you find your thoughts returning to gruesome.  Just try again.  Also, do you see a tdoc?

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I think it could be anxiety as well. I always have a contingency plan, for the contingency plan, for the contingency plan, for the original plan. So whatever happens, I have a plan for it. My husband has epilepsy, and I am always making plans for when he has a seizure. Planning is how I try to compensate for my anxiety. But sometimes it makes things worse, because I'll get sucked into planning in smaller and smaller increments.

 

I don't know what to say about the dreams. I have a lot of nightmares, but even when something that might be gory happens, it doesn't appear in my dream. Gory stuff makes me freak the fuck out. I mean freaked. So maybe my brain is protecting me. An example is people jumping off of buildings, and being dead, but there isn't any blood at all.

 

It sounds like these dreams feel disruptive to you, more so than usual. This is operating under the assumption that most of your life, you have had horrible nightmares, but that you have learned to make them at least bearable if unpleasant. If I suddenly had much worse nightmares, that were interfering with my day to day life, I'd get a therapist.

 

Also, CBT, a type of therapy, is very helpful for anxiety and phobias (and other things). It deals with this kind of repetitive loop of thoughts.

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I agree with melissa, it sounds anxiety-related and katie has a good idea in using distractions.  I also like the idea of using guided meditation.  I use passive muscle relaxation guided by a CD and it is amazing how it clears my mind.  Try not to get discouraged if you use a distraction and then you find your thoughts returning to gruesome.  Just try again.  Also, do you see a tdoc?

 

I'm embarrassed to ask what tdoc stands for? lol sorry I'm still new here :)

 

 

 

I think it could be anxiety as well. I always have a contingency plan, for the contingency plan, for the contingency plan, for the original plan. So whatever happens, I have a plan for it. My husband has epilepsy, and I am always making plans for when he has a seizure. Planning is how I try to compensate for my anxiety. But sometimes it makes things worse, because I'll get sucked into planning in smaller and smaller increments.

 

I don't know what to say about the dreams. I have a lot of nightmares, but even when something that might be gory happens, it doesn't appear in my dream. Gory stuff makes me freak the fuck out. I mean freaked. So maybe my brain is protecting me. An example is people jumping off of buildings, and being dead, but there isn't any blood at all.

 

It sounds like these dreams feel disruptive to you, more so than usual. This is operating under the assumption that most of your life, you have had horrible nightmares, but that you have learned to make them at least bearable if unpleasant. If I suddenly had much worse nightmares, that were interfering with my day to day life, I'd get a therapist.

 

Also, CBT, a type of therapy, is very helpful for anxiety and phobias (and other things). It deals with this kind of repetitive loop of thoughts.

 

They haven't really gotten worse. It's happened for as far back as I can remember so I'm pretty used to it I guess. It definitely doesn't happen every day or every night. Since my bipolar diagnosis I've started looking back to see if I can remember any signs or symptoms from when I was really little so I guess this is kind of where this post stems from. 

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Well, they sound bad whether or not they are getting worse. I have had terrifying dreams since I remember, which was about 4. I'm almost 50, and still do. They really throw me, and screw me up for a couple of days afterwards, because it is all I can think about.

 

Oh, so I mean, you should definitely tell it to a tdoc if you get one.

Edited by crtclms
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They've heard everything, it is kind of hard to shock a therapist. And dreams are stereotypically relevant to your life. Don't be afraid. Maybe write some notes out beforehand, so you don't blank out. I always write notes, and so do many people here.

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I have found myself having horrible thoughts too and not being able to let them go; I think it's a combination of bipolar (racing thoughts) and anxiety/OCD.

 

I find myself trying to figure out what caused the thought, then if the thought is normal, then what would happen if I told someone, then what would happen if I acted on the thought, then why the hell am I such a horrible person...

 

I still haven't worked up the courage to tell anyone a majority of them. 

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