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Tactile hallucinations (trigger warning and nsfw wordage)


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Much of the time I'm awake I'm experiencing tactile hallucinations. Sometimes they make my legs hurt, or make things itch or twitch, make me feel like I'm having pins stuck in me.

 

Other times they're a whole load more nsfw. I've spent hours crying because it feels like I'm being sexually assaulted, because not only do I feel it the auditories describe what they're doing to me, or they're grabbing and wringing my vagina and cervix. I'm pretty certain there's nothing physically wrong with these bits of me, and it's particularly unpleasant because I'm genderqueer and not actually happy with even having those parts to my body a lot of the time. 

 

I know that in reality these things are caused by my somatosensory cortex, but the pain is very real and so is the anguish of being assualted, because that is what it feels like. Anyone else feel like this, and does anyone have any suggestions for how to feel better though in pain?

 

I'm on amisulpride, but it's blatantly not working and I'm beginning to wonder whether drugs will be able to make this go away.

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This sounds horrific, honestly, and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 

 

Has your pdoc considered putting you on an antipsychotic? That might help with the hallucinations. Do you have a tdoc? A tdoc that knows about sexual trauma and psychosis could be very valuable. 

 

I have never experienced anything like this, so I can't say I relate. 

 

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this horrible experience. 

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This... has happened to me. I do get tactile hallucinations, and a similar thing has happened to me.

 

In the shower, alone. Lights turned off because I wasn't feeling well. And then... hands. hands touching me everywhere, in places I don't want. Feels like someone was assaulting me, even though I was alone in the room. Eventually I cried out for help and my fiance came in to help me distinguish between real and not real.

 

Most of my hallucinations stopped when I started on antipsychotics. I guess I'm a bit lucky there, but I'm still really ill in other ways. :

 

Best of luck to you and I hope this sort of thing never happens again.

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It's very frequent, at least daily, and I'm sat here right now being assaulted. At first I used to cry and cry, now it's just very distressing and I try to ignore it as everything else keeps on happening around me. It is upsetting to keep quiet whilst they do it to me, but equally bad to try to describe it to anyone around me.

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When I was a child when I went to bed I used to feel thousands of ants crawling over me as if on patrol to make sure I didn't move. I could feel them, but I could also feel their evil intent towards me. These were definitely related to past trauma, and when I healed more from the trauma they went away (on their own - didn't need drugs).

 

I've known the feeling of hating one's body, and that also induces lots of internal pain that feels very traumatizing. Perhaps your fix is to work with others who can help you heal and move past that kind of trauma?

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