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bipolar and religion or spirituality


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ok so bear with me here.

 

i don't know what flavor i am, nor do i care, just that meds work for me. which they are not really doing (10 mg abilify, 2 mg Xanax, 50 mg Trazodone). i am still cycling, and that's where this religion/spirituality comes in.

 

i have found that i tend to be more religious when hypomanic or trending that way, but i don't believe i'm God or have delusions or anything like that. i am very much in touch with reality, and actually believe i'm having mixed episodes. i could be feeling sort of high, but listening to some praise and worship song can bring me to tears. i also tend to read my religion books and attend bible study more when i'm trending that way, but never really crash. then i have days when i question why God would let this illness rule my life, because right now with all the cycling, it is.

 

i know this might not be making much sense, but i'm trying to make sense of it myself in my head. my question is, how do i know if i'm just growing in my spirituality vs. cycling up to hypomania? (never been manic)

 

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Maybe you can't figure it out because we are all a cloth of many threads.  We are all physical, mental, psychological, social, cultural, spiritual (in whatever way we define this) and it's all interwoven into our being. 

 

I know for me, when one of the above is in crises the others will sometimes compensate by being stronger and helpful giving me a handle to hold onto so I don't fall. 

 

If you are not thinking of harming yourself or others and are safe why not just set the deep introspection aside until you are feeling better?  Do what you need to do for yourself right now and be close to Him when and if you can and need to and maintain a respectful distance from Him when you can and need to and then after you are feeling better try to figure out the cause and effects of your spirituality in relation to your mental health issues.

 

'how do I know if i'm just growing in my spirituality vs. cycling up to hypomania? (never been manic)'

 

You don't know right now!  Each is a part of you in a different way as the spirituality is one part of you and the mental health issues is one part of you.  It's like a multi lane highway system with all the lanes going in the same direction but each lane having a different purpose.  One lane is designated the fast lane, one is designated for slower speeds, one lane is for those going far, one is for those going to exit to another lane and so on.  It's all the same highway but with different lanes for different purposes.

 

We are all made of many lanes, physical, mental, psychological, social, cultural, spiritual and one can be doing something completely independent of the others or with the others or with only one other.  Maybe your spiritual lane is going faster than your mental?  Or maybe your mental is going slower than the spiritual?

 

If you are not thinking of harming yourself or others and are safe why not just go with each lane as is right now?  You can slow down or speed up in whatever lane you want or not even drive right now in any lane you want making a pit stop for gas and taking a break from driving. 

 

Don't overthink things right now rather set it aside for when all the lanes are going at the same speed - then think about how all of your lanes go together or not. 

 

Talk about this with a trusted person, therapist, counselor, family, friend, pastor/priest/rabbi/spiritual person, and be sure to report this to the prescribing psychiatrist.  Report your thoughts that you think you might be cycling up to hypomania today to your psychiatrist or the psych nurse.  Tell the pdoc just what you posted here.

 

I wish you well.

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Dear Daisy...God/Our creator loves you for reaching out and being a seeker (just my humble opinion!)  I am not a Christian anymore after much study, but that is besides the point...the christian bible states that we have been given free will (other wise we would be mere robots for an imperfect divine being/creator, and we wouldn't learn a d@mn thing...I believe our Creator is perfection)

 

There is also the presence of extreme evil in this world (I believe) which makes for chaos, pain, temptations and choices...I personally believe our souls are in "earth school" for the purpose of spiritual growth..."ya don't get what ya want, ya get what ya need!" 

 

I absolutely believe in pre-existence/infinity of the soul (matter can neither be created nor destroyed) I believe we actually sign up for this cr@p, so we can become even closer to our Creator, AND LEARN...bless you on your sacred journey....Lucy

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I think many who struggle with a chronic illness wonders why God is allowing this misery in their life.

I certainly have questioned that for both my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Bipolar Disorder.

 

I also experience some escalated spirituality with hypomania.

 

But with full mania I have thought God was talking specifically to me.  I crossed over the line

into delusion.  It is ok to lean on your faith.  Just try and keep your insight incase you move into

unhealthy thoughts.

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Maybe you tend to subconsciously cling to higher matters when in altered state of mind?

 

Alternativelly... maybe these two are really connected. Prophets wouldn't be truly functional in today's society and if taken to a shrink, they woulda get some labels slapped on. Not saying you are a prophet... but I think that spirituality might take some of "insane" mind. It's up to you to learn to balance it all and not to be lead astray. Explore your spirituality slowly and stay on the earth... one needs to have their life right here in order first, then you can pursuit and chase the other...

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