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I am finishing up with my counseling for the semester (I go to a university that is 250 miles from where I will be between semesters), so what do I do know?  She said we could pick back up next semester, but that's like forever away.  I know I am in a place where I don't need to see her every week anymore, but I am scared to go at it alone.  I know in my head that I have made giant strides in my walk in getting better, but my heart still feels like I need to be there, I am so confussed. Any suggestions?

p.s.  I am still going to take my meds b/c I tend to get physically violent when I don't take them.

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Hi Eyebeam - Does "next semester" begin in January? That's only, like, 6 weeks away. I know it seems like forever but it's not, really. Can you write to the therapist while you're away? You don't have to send anything, sometimes just writing it helps. Can she recommend someone for you to see while you're gone? Or do a checkup phone call once a week? My experience has been that it's a good idea to have some sort of structured backup plan for times when I'm out of touch with my therapist. Is there anyone at home you can talk to? Have you told the therapist how scared you are? If all else fails, the nutjobs here at crazyboards may just be helpful enough to get you through. Really. You're gonna be ok. MIllie

PS - good idea to stay on the meds. Yeah.

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Maybe you could talk to her between terms? You could set up "phone appointments" for once a week or something -- not full length therapy sessions, but a few minutes for you to still feel 'connected' to her and to bring up/get some help with any issues that may have come up.

Does your therapist work for your university? If so, perhaps she's a little more used to how to help students get through the long semester breaks.

Do ask her if you can call her should some kind of emergency arise. Not necessarily the kind that needs you to go instantly to the hospital, but something else drastic where a couple minutes of her time will be enough to bring some sanity back to your life.

Staying on your meds is very important, these are an all-the-time every-day event regardless of what else is going on. And, of course, you can hang out here with us.

Fiona

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Maybe before you finish up, you could set some goals to work on while you're on your therapy hiatus. I've found that setting concrete behavioral types of goals can help me when I'm away from therapy. They only work for me if my meds are keeping me somewhat in check though.

Some of the things I've done:

I find that standard "affirmations" make me giggle and roll my eyes. Instead, I go to a website for famous quotations and browse until I find one that touches me. I write it down on an index card, and then find a way to apply it to my life for that day. I then turn that application into a goal for the day. For example:

Quote: "I've been through it all, baby. I'm Mother Courage!" Elizabeth Taylor

Goal: Today, my reality isn't any harder than anything else I've already survived.

Quote: "You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." Walt Disney

Goal: Today, I will not be dragged down by past difficulties. I will look at them as opportunities to grow.

Other things to set goals for might be practicing assertive communication, practicing self soothing behaviors, going out, exercising... There's lots, but obviously they will have to be personalized to your individual strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully, you'll be able to look at this period as a trial run or a dress rehearsal instead of a big gloomy scary time. Sometimes that can make all the difference.

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Hi all,

I went to counseling yesterday and got really ill there and I passed out.  I went to the doctor later that afternoon and he told me that my condition has gotten worse and now I am going to have surgery on Friday to remove some of the smooth muscle from my stomach and to take out my gallbladder.  My therapist said she would call me once a week while I was away for Christmas.  I really like her.  She said that she was going to come and visit while I was in the hospital. Being sick like this scares me, I sometimes feel like I am dying, literally.  It is that bad, I almost bleed to death last week and I'm scared that I will never live to see old age.  I know that thinking like this isn't helping my depression.  I can't help it though, it just feels like I am dying. I pray everyday that I will live just one more day.  I could use all the support from ya'll that I can get right now.  This week is going to be a very scary week for me.  Keep me in your prayers.

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Your therapist sounds like a wonderful woman.

I'm not sure about the smooth muscle part, but I do know that having your gall bladder out is pretty common.  My mom had hers out when I was little.  It's surgery, so there's always a risk, but it usually works out without any trouble.

You are in my thoughts and my prayers.  If you feel alone and scared, know that I am thinking of you.  PM me if you need anything.  Not that I can do much from Boston, but I can "listen".

Love,

CS

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I am going to have surgery on Friday to remove some of the smooth muscle from my stomach and to take out my gallbladder.  My therapist said she would call me once a week while I was away for Christmas.  I really like her.  She said that she was going to come and visit while I was in the hospital.

I am sorry to hear about the surgery but if it takes care of the problem it will be worth the scary event.

Being sick like this scares me, I sometimes feel like I am dying, literally.  It is that bad, I almost bleed to death last week and I'm scared that I will never live to see old age.  I know that thinking like this isn't helping my depression.  I can't help it though, it just feels like I am dying. I pray everyday that I will live just one more day.  I could use all the support from ya'll that I can get right now.  This week is going to be a very scary week for me.  Keep me in your prayers.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Being sick, having to have surgery is a very scary thing. I have had major surgery- will not insert where tumor was or what body part was removed - being scared is human reaction, one that has potential, life preserving benefits. I am glad to hear that your tdoc will be visiting you in the hospital. Be sure to talk to her during her vist and during those phone calls about any feelings of depression. I don't want to sound like an alarmist but post-surgery depression can occur in people who do not have a history of depression.

Keep posting for support, we are here day and night. I will keep you in my thoughts. If I can find the research about prayer and its benefit in healing, I will post it here. Research shows that people have less anxiety pre-surgery and often recover more quickly when people pray for them. The positive results of prayer are present even if people do not know the people who are praying for them or even know if people are praying for them.

Erika

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I just noticed that your birthday is January 20.  Mine's January 9.  Same year, too!

People with January birthdays are the coolest people.  But don't tell anyone I said so!

I'm still here, still thinking about you.  I have a good feeling about this surgery.  Not that it counts for much, but I think this is going to help you feel a LOT better and I think the surgery is going to go very well.

Just remember that we're here for you and thinking about you.

Love,

CS

Oh, and once your stomach is all better, I'll make you some cookies!

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