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Loss of my son


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I lost my only son in December 2010; time is no healer and nothing has helped (medication, counselling). I go to bed hoping I won't wake up. I live alone (I have no contact with my family). Will it ever end? :(

 

If you are going through hell, keep on going, said Churchill ... :cussing:

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Ducky-

Welcome to the forum! You will find lots of support here. :)

 

That quote by Churchill is my favorite and I draw a lot of strength from it. I ditto the others when I say that maybe finding a grief support group will help you immensly. I lost my younger and only brother in August 2011 and grief counseling helped a lot with that.

 

I hope you find the support and comfort you need.

 

Emack

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I have tried countless forums as well as bereavement counselling. Nothing has helped. There is even a forum specifically for those who have lost a child - though mine was an adult - but I only found them all depressing. You just exchange sympathies and that seems to be as far as it goes. Talking to a complete stranger didn't help either - I felt they were only doing their job. They didn't know my son and they didn't know me. If I wasn't such a coward, I would have topped myself by now and I wish I had. I am just so weak.

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You're not at all weak!  It takes incredible strength and courage just to keep going after a loss like that!  I had a very traumatic miscarriage (his name was Jonathan, heard his heartbeat, all was fine, in my 5th month I delivered him stillborn in a hospital bathroom alone, while I was still in shock and under sedation they threw him in the garbage like trash without giving me the option to bury him).  Like someone else said the only thing I really fear is harm or loss of a loved one and that one devestated me (not seeking to exchange sympathy, just wanted to let you know that I know at least a little something about it).  Like you said time does NOT heal all wounds!  I want to tear people's heads off whenever they say that!  Anytime I hear that I silently think, "then I guess you haven't had a bad enough wound yet or you wouldn't say something so stupid!"  (Yeah, still a lot of anger inside me over it obviously.)  But time does make it a little easier to cope with the wounds.  Like any chronic pain you learn to live with it and that does help in it's own way.  It's only been a few years for you.  I'm sure you've heard at least one idiot expressing some form of "it's been 3 years get over it already" but hopefully you've also had kind support from people telling you that it takes however long it takes for you to work through the grieving process.  Stick around, chat with folks here, I hope you find what you need to make carrying this burden easier in time.

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