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Ex has moved on......really depressed now


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I would've known him for 5 years come January next year.  He called me today and said he needed to talk to me. I was at work so had to call back when I got home.  He said he's met someone new, and wants to focus on the new relationship.  He still wanted to be friends, but said he's not sure how to go about that so it's best if we don't talk anymore.  The relationship has been DOA for about a year now, but it still hurt to have it offically ended.  We've been in contact weekly for the past few months even though I started dating someone new in that time period. The new guy is great, perfect even, but I don't have even one iota of feelings for him.  My new bf, T, knows that my ex and I were still talking while we've been dating. My ex lives in Texas and I live in Florida, we've always been long distance.  This is getting long so I'll wrap it up, thanks for reading this far. I'm just so utterly fucking depressed that I feel like getting wasted and sleeping for about a week but I have to work tomorrow so no can do. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

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Hi, girl,

I'm sorry for your troubles. It is incredibly hard to let a relationship go when you've put so many years into it, especially if they're not being total jerks about things. Maybe now you'll be able to concentrate on your new relationship and you'll start feeling more for him, especially knowing that your ex is really gone.

Good luck to you. I hope things are looking up soon.

Greeny

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Sorry to hear about that...romantic relationships are sooo complicated. 

Even if you don't want to be with that person anymore, it is hard when you hear that it is really, really over.  Brings up all kinds of yucky feelings.  Attachment is a hard things to let go of....for me anyways.  So I know how you feel. 

Sounds cliche....but time heals.  Hang in there.  It gets easier, and distracting yourself with another guy can be a good diversion, as long as noone ends up getting attached (again). ;)

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It's hard when a relationship ends -- even if it's been 'done' for quite a while. I know that I mourned a little bit when the divorce papers were final, even though the marriage had been abusive and over for almost two years.

The new guy can be a way to distract yourself, as long as you both know that it's just fun and not a big new committment. I don't think that a new committed relationship is the best way to get over the last, they're often short and result in a lot of additional hurt. I've watched a friend through herself in relationship after relationship this way.

It's fine to be depressed, normal even. The trick is to pick up the pieces and keep moving. The more you keep moving, the better off you'll be -- don't let this bring you to a halt.

Fiona

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