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I don't want to jinx it (let's spin it the other way and call it positive thinking/law of attraction here) but I think I *may* be stable. Or at least coming into stability. I've been taking a higher dose of Abilify, and now I do not feel so wound up and irritated and agressive/intense. I also, somehow, did not crash or have not yet (I don't know if that is coming soon...) had any signs of depression. 

I can't tell though, it is hard for me. I have the worst lack of insight ever. My gf thinks I am getting better though, so if someone close to me is saying that, it gives me the feeling I might be. 

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3 hours ago, 2Spirals said:

I don't want to jinx it (let's spin it the other way and call it positive thinking/law of attraction here) but I think I *may* be stable. Or at least coming into stability. I've been taking a higher dose of Abilify, and now I do not feel so wound up and irritated and agressive/intense. I also, somehow, did not crash or have not yet (I don't know if that is coming soon...) had any signs of depression. 

I can't tell though, it is hard for me. I have the worst lack of insight ever. My gf thinks I am getting better though, so if someone close to me is saying that, it gives me the feeling I might be. 

I am glad you feel stable!

Sometimes you might not even realize you're stable until you've been stable for awhile.  For me at least I'll be going about my life, then realize that I think I am stable ... then will go back to my datebook to see a round-a-bout time when it started. 

 

Edited by melissaw72

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1 hour ago, melissaw72 said:

I am glad you feel stable!

Sometimes you might not even realize you're stable until you've been stable for awhile.  For me at least I'll be going about my life, then realize that I think I am stable ... then will go back to my datebook to see a round-a-bout time when it started. 

 

that reminds me, I need to start up my mood chart again. I let it go for a while :(

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Called my pdoc but he wasn't in and won't be in til Wednesday. (He is partially retired.) Mood still very elevated... didn't sleep much last night, and doubt I will tonight either.

Any ideas on how to calm my mood .. coping skills, etc? Til I can get some assistance from him? I'm not currently on any sleep medication so that's not an option. I was told that he likely will not do anything with meds until my next appt so I feel like I'm kind of on my own.

 

 

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1 hour ago, her-escape said:

Called my pdoc but he wasn't in and won't be in til Wednesday. (He is partially retired.) Mood still very elevated... didn't sleep much last night, and doubt I will tonight either.

Any ideas on how to calm my mood .. coping skills, etc? Til I can get some assistance from him? I'm not currently on any sleep medication so that's not an option. I was told that he likely will not do anything with meds until my next appt so I feel like I'm kind of on my own.

 

 

Can you schedule an earlier appt?  Or an emergency appt?  The more your mood is elevated like it is now, the harder it *might* be to treat.  Or if not treated, you could crash at any moment without warning, which really sucks because it can be very hard to recover from that, and can last a very long time.  BTDT.

Ideas to calm your mind ... maybe benadryl?  It doesn't work for me but I've read on CB how it helps some people fall asleep.    And actually, you don't need sleep meds to fall asleep.  What about zyprexa?  I know some people who take that at the beginning when they feel like they are becoming manic, and it stops the mania dead in its tracks, as well as makes you sleep.  Or maybe try seroquel?

 

Edited by melissaw72

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Read some of my old journal entries from 4-7 years ago, completely before being diagnosed and meds and doctors etc. I'd forgotten just how bad it was. I was actually having hallucinations that I completely forgot about (I have a terrible memory) and more delusions then I remember too. It's actually kind of nice to see, since I've been obsessing over the idea that I've exaggerated my symptoms and that I'm not actually bipolar or psychotic etc. yikes. Maybe I shouldn't keep postponing starting up on my meds again. 

I don't know. We'll see. 

Like seriously looking back how did I make it through high school? My symptoms started at 13 and got much worse as time went on and I didn't get help until I was 17.

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13 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

Can you schedule an earlier appt?  Or an emergency appt?  The more your mood is elevated like it is now, the harder it *might* be to treat.  Or if not treated, you could crash at any moment without warning, which really sucks because it can be very hard to recover from that, and can last a very long time.  BTDT.

Ideas to calm your mind ... maybe benadryl?  It doesn't work for me but I've read on CB how it helps some people fall asleep.    And actually, you don't need sleep meds to fall asleep.  What about zyprexa?  I know some people who take that at the beginning when they feel like they are becoming manic, and it stops the mania dead in its tracks, as well as makes you sleep.  Or maybe try seroquel?

 

Thank you. If he is not able to do anything without seeing me I will ask if they can fit me in the schedule somehow. I'm new to this clinic so I'm not sure how they do things here yet. I just know he is only in a couple of times per week. (Mental health services are not the best here.)

I do not have any kind of sedating or PRN meds I can take. The only psych meds I'm on currently are Oxcarbazepine and Lamictal.  I do not have any benadryl and haven't had much success with it in the past but may try to pick some up tomorrow. 

Thanks for all your help! 

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6 minutes ago, her-escape said:

I do not have any kind of sedating or PRN meds I can take.

Oh ... I'm sorry ... I know you said you didn't have extra meds to sleep ... I was thinking along the lines of asking your DR to prescribe them as needed, like for when you feel like you are becoming manic, to stop it in its tracks.

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6 hours ago, ohjustchillin said:

Read some of my old journal entries from 4-7 years ago, completely before being diagnosed and meds and doctors etc. I'd forgotten just how bad it was. I was actually having hallucinations that I completely forgot about (I have a terrible memory) and more delusions then I remember too. It's actually kind of nice to see, since I've been obsessing over the idea that I've exaggerated my symptoms and that I'm not actually bipolar or psychotic etc. yikes. Maybe I shouldn't keep postponing starting up on my meds again. 

I don't know. We'll see. 

Like seriously looking back how did I make it through high school? My symptoms started at 13 and got much worse as time went on and I didn't get help until I was 17.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 25/26 (somewhere in there) but looking back I can now recognize that I had a few bouts of mania and depression as a teen and younger adult. I wish I'd kept a better diary of how I felt. All I did was write poetry/songs. Which ended up in a little book I carry around...

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11 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Oh ... I'm sorry ... I know you said you didn't have extra meds to sleep ... I was thinking along the lines of asking your DR to prescribe them as needed, like for when you feel like you are becoming manic, to stop it in its tracks.

My bad... I didn't read your message right. But yes, that's what I'm planning to ask him... hopefully for Haldol because it's worked well as a prn for me in the past. 

11 hours ago, ohjustchillin said:

Read some of my old journal entries from 4-7 years ago, completely before being diagnosed and meds and doctors etc. I'd forgotten just how bad it was. I was actually having hallucinations that I completely forgot about (I have a terrible memory) and more delusions then I remember too. It's actually kind of nice to see, since I've been obsessing over the idea that I've exaggerated my symptoms and that I'm not actually bipolar or psychotic etc. yikes. Maybe I shouldn't keep postponing starting up on my meds again. 

I don't know. We'll see. 

Like seriously looking back how did I make it through high school? My symptoms started at 13 and got much worse as time went on and I didn't get help until I was 17.

I dealt with my MI for years as well before seeking help.... honestly wish I had. Dropped out of school at 16 because things were so bad and it's one of my biggest regrets. 

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2 minutes ago, her-escape said:

I dealt with my MI for years as well before seeking help.... honestly wish I had. Dropped out of school at 16 because things were so bad and it's one of my biggest regrets. 

I can't seem to make it through any of the college classes I've tried. I've started and quit community college twice now.

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My DIY Christmas plans are coming along swimmingly. I've already made soap and lip balm. I'm also going to make lotion and bath bombs. My fiancee and I are sort of broke this Christmas, so that's the best we could do. I'm really enjoying making everything. 

I just wish I weren't dealing with illusions/hallucinations/whatever they are. I feel like I'm constantly looking around to confirm whether or not something is really there. The icons right above the screen to type in keep getting distorted. I swear I just saw that eye blink.

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42 minutes ago, aura said:

My DIY Christmas plans are coming along swimmingly. I've already made soap and lip balm. I'm also going to make lotion and bath bombs. My fiancee and I are sort of broke this Christmas, so that's the best we could do. I'm really enjoying making everything.

I think those are great ideas!  And they are homemade also, which I think people appreciate even more.

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13 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

I think those are great ideas!  And they are homemade also, which I think people appreciate even more.

I hope so! I'm putting all the love I can into them. :)

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4 minutes ago, aura said:

I hope so! I'm putting all the love I can into them. :)

That is what counts, and why I think people like the home made things that much more :)

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On ‎12‎/‎11‎/‎2016 at 6:02 PM, melissaw72 said:

Why did your DR take you off of klonopin?

I was in complaining of 'vein pain', shooting pains in head etc, she asked if I was anxious, said no. She said thought it was in my head and that she didn't like that medication. Took me off and sent me to pharmacist at clinic who questioned my valproic acid!!! After all this I had psch consult and he confirmed that previous meds were ok but suggested alternatives. Now on Mirtazapine, but don't feel the same and putting on some weight.

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15 hours ago, aura said:

I hope so! I'm putting all the love I can into them. :)

We made coloring books for adults. We used old drawings and notes from my gf's anatomy classes, and drew pictures and wrote quotes or poems to go along with them. They will hopefully be liked. So far no one has said anything. We mailed them about a week ago, maybe they aren't there yet...

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1 hour ago, 2Spirals said:

We made coloring books for adults. We used old drawings and notes from my gf's anatomy classes, and drew pictures and wrote quotes or poems to go along with them. They will hopefully be liked. So far no one has said anything. We mailed them about a week ago, maybe they aren't there yet...

Such a cool idea! The idea ran through my mind, but lithium tremors make drawing difficult.

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I feel so disappointed. I am depressed, after having been depression-free for about a month. And the quetiapine was working so well; why did it have to fail now?

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Sorry, @Closure. I also get super worried as soon as depressive symptoms start rolling in. Hopefully it'll be short and mild.

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