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Anybody With Bipolar Want to Share?

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Wow that is quite a story. It must've been really difficult!! I am glad you found us! Like Melissa said, it's not really the diagnosis so much as the treatment that works. Although usually if a certain type of treatment works, the pdocs will say "oh you have this because XXX is working well for you" etc...

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

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it has been difficult, I don't know how I've survived tbh ? just want it all to be over and be "normal" 

12 minutes ago, Alien Navel Cord said:

Wow that is quite a story. It must've been really difficult!! I am glad you found us! Like Melissa said, it's not really the diagnosis so much as the treatment that works. Although usually if a certain type of treatment works, the pdocs will say "oh you have this because XXX is working well for you" etc...

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

it has been difficult, I don't know how I've survived tbh ? just want it all to be over and be "normal" 

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2 minutes ago, shweaty said:

 

it has been difficult, I don't know how I've survived tbh ? just want it all to be over and be "normal" 

I hear ya there. "Normal" is what I want too!

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Day 5 since I ran out of lithium. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he gave the green light for me to have my second sleep study on March 2. So I will begin tapering off of my meds on Feb 6 and DC on the 16th. The lithium he didn't want to refill because of me having been off a week already and Idk I guess it would take time to build back up then I'd have to taper again?

Ummmm so yeah I think that's the gist of it. Honestly, my mind feels like the autobahn highway! It's also trying to pick and pull a specific trinket from the grips of an EF5 Tornado. It's pure chaos. I can just be sitting here and 5 seconds later I'm wondering what am I doing? What's going on? What did you say? I went there today??? It's weird to explain. Like I can feel me "here"  but it doesn't feel like me here. Disoriented. I need help or we'll thoughts or advice  because while I do not prefer to be depressed, I don't like feeling like the confused woman who has no idea of left from right with a wicked nasty temper when provoked..     I'm at a loss. Makes me want to sleep...

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Today was really awesome and I'm excited for tomorrow! I'm adjusting really great to my meds and making various plans for my future so this is wonderful and I'm just really excited about life right now

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I just need to vent. I've had a mental illness diagnosis for 12 years now and a bipolar diagnosis for three years. I met my new pdoc the other day and she said that because I'm so med resistant that I might not in fact have Bipolar. This pissed me off because I KNOW that I have Bipolar, it's blatantly obvious. I also have Borderline but she tried to call bullshit on thathe too and called me a narcissist. And then the meds. I wanted to try thorazine. She said that I can providing I drop four of my other meds and said that this will be my last ever med change. Luckily I have a GP that shouldnt be as much of an asshole. Just....ughh.

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I narrowly avoided being killed or severely injured. Others around me weren't so lucky. 

I am grieving for people I never knew, for what could have happened, and for how these events can even exist. 

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6 hours ago, Rabidtears said:

Day 5 since I ran out of lithium. I saw my pdoc yesterday and he gave the green light for me to have my second sleep study on March 2. So I will begin tapering off of my meds on Feb 6 and DC on the 16th. The lithium he didn't want to refill because of me having been off a week already and Idk I guess it would take time to build back up then I'd have to taper again?

Ummmm so yeah I think that's the gist of it. Honestly, my mind feels like the autobahn highway! It's also trying to pick and pull a specific trinket from the grips of an EF5 Tornado. It's pure chaos. I can just be sitting here and 5 seconds later I'm wondering what am I doing? What's going on? What did you say? I went there today??? It's weird to explain. Like I can feel me "here"  but it doesn't feel like me here. Disoriented. I need help or we'll thoughts or advice  because while I do not prefer to be depressed, I don't like feeling like the confused woman who has no idea of left from right with a wicked nasty temper when provoked..     I'm at a loss. Makes me want to sleep...

Do you mind me asking what the sleep study is for?  And did your DR say why he was taking you off of meds for it?

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Rabidtears-

i am so sorry you are experiencing this. I have a 100% track record of having a manic episode when I stop taking lithium, so I can understand how you are feeling. Hang on the best you can. You can make it through this. 

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5 hours ago, Always Unstable said:

I just need to vent. I've had a mental illness diagnosis for 12 years now and a bipolar diagnosis for three years. I met my new pdoc the other day and she said that because I'm so med resistant that I might not in fact have Bipolar. This pissed me off because I KNOW that I have Bipolar, it's blatantly obvious. I also have Borderline but she tried to call bullshit on thathe too and called me a narcissist. And then the meds. I wanted to try thorazine. She said that I can providing I drop four of my other meds and said that this will be my last ever med change. Luckily I have a GP that shouldnt be as much of an asshole. Just....ughh.

I am so sorry you had to deal with this.  Oh man, that is the worst ... not being believed.  And called you a narcissist? 

(in bold) Why? that makes no sense at all.

Seeing that this pdoc is new, any chance you can find another one?  I honestly think that this pdoc will do you no good, and might make you more angry or resentful (or etc) because of the way she treats you (which is not fairly.  She doesn't even know you and she is spouting off all this shit to you, which isn't true).  I mean that is a guess, but if I had a pdoc like this, I'd be out of there in a heartbeat.

-----------------------------

 

3 hours ago, survivingbp said:

I narrowly avoided being killed or severely injured. Others around me weren't so lucky. 

I am grieving for people I never knew, for what could have happened, and for how these events can even exist. 

I'm glad you are ok.  I'm sorry for the losses of lives around you at the time.

--------------------------

 

10 hours ago, Bimbo Bear said:

Today was really awesome and I'm excited for tomorrow! I'm adjusting really great to my meds and making various plans for my future so this is wonderful and I'm just really excited about life right now

I'm glad! :)

 

Edited by melissaw72
hate when the posts combine automatically

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6 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Do you mind me asking what the sleep study is for?  And did your DR say why he was taking you off of meds for it?

For narcolepsy. With me being on meds with the first one all they can officially dx is hypersomnia I think, but sleep doc is sure it's N. He said that was the only thing that tainted my ooriginal mslt. I am currently trying Nuvigil for it. Day one and I feel amazing. I'm awake and not jittery due to caffeinating to stay awake. 

As far as mood goes it is a better dayalso for the moment. Just feel like I need to be moving!l

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9 hours ago, Always Unstable said:

I just need to vent. I've had a mental illness diagnosis for 12 years now and a bipolar diagnosis for three years. I met my new pdoc the other day and she said that because I'm so med resistant that I might not in fact have Bipolar. This pissed me off because I KNOW that I have Bipolar, it's blatantly obvious. I also have Borderline but she tried to call bullshit on thathe too and called me a narcissist. And then the meds. I wanted to try thorazine. She said that I can providing I drop four of my other meds and said that this will be my last ever med change. Luckily I have a GP that shouldnt be as much of an asshole. Just....ughh.

Sorry you're pdoc is giving you a hard time. Is there any chance you could see someone else?

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47 minutes ago, Rabidtears said:

For narcolepsy. With me being on meds with the first one all they can officially dx is hypersomnia I think, but sleep doc is sure it's N. He said that was the only thing that tainted my ooriginal mslt. I am currently trying Nuvigil for it. Day one and I feel amazing. I'm awake and not jittery due to caffeinating to stay awake. 

As far as mood goes it is a better dayalso for the moment. Just feel like I need to be moving!l

That is what I was diagnosed with ... hypersomnia.

I am glad the Nuvigil is helping!  It is always nice when a med does what it is supposed to do with minimal to no side effects!

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Today was nice out.. it was 56 degrees and sunny, and for Michigan that is like shorts and BBQ weather. I went for a walk up to the coffee shop , and walked back . I went to the car wash but the line was soo busy it was out to the street so i was like nope. haha , My sis and i took our 16 yr old dog for a walk and by walk i mean we carried her .it is day by day with her, she is skin and bones and it's pretty depressing looking at her . sometimes i wonder if i am being selfish.. but the vet said she is ok.. but he also went to a lot of Grateful Dead concerts sooo and dropped acid...I went Feather Bowling.. it was weird but fun. Oh and the Auto Show is here in Detroit right now and i am debating on going.. it is a hit or miss, but they have the new Audi i have been waiting for there and Jeep so, i may go. I love cars.  

Distraction is key for me right now, anything to keep the tears away. I am feeling very dissociated tho and i don't know what to do about that. I feel as if i were to black out. And i am not sure if it is depersonalization or what? My appetite is coming back .. which honestly i am pissed because i was losing weight at a fast pace, and i am worried i will gain weight. More than a week ago i was not myself and i was suicidal and very unstable , and now.. i just feel emotionless. Sort of scares me.. how quick the change was. 

My Aunt was in town and we all went out to dinner and she was soo happy to see me out, i haven't been out in public with her in years due to my agoraphobia, she was happy i was able to get out she sat next to me and told me it was like having me back. But now she thinks I can get on a plane and go to Arizona haha.. not yet!

Slowly but surely hopefully things will be ok, but for now i will Keep on Truckin'.

 

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5 hours ago, aura said:

Sorry you're pdoc is giving you a hard time. Is there any chance you could see someone else?

The one I see is governemnt funded. I tried looking for private psychiatrists but there's literally none in my area and I don't drive.  Thankfully I'm still able to catch the bus to see my old GP who is absolutely phenomenal when it comes to mental health.like and knows me very well. I see him on the 31 st. I see my fill in GP on the 25th. 

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10 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I am so sorry you had to deal with this.  Oh man, that is the worst ... not being believed.  And called you a narcissist? 

(in bold) Why? that makes no sense at all.

Seeing that this pdoc is new, any chance you can find another one?  I honestly think that this pdoc will do you no good, and might make you more angry or resentful (or etc) because of the way she treats you (which is not fairly.  She doesn't even know you and she is spouting off all this shit to you, which isn't true).  I mean that is a guess, but if I had a pdoc like this, I'd be out of there in a heartbeat.

-----------------------------

 

I'm glad you are ok.  I'm sorry for the losses of lives around you at the time.

--------------------------

 

I'm glad! :)

 

She said because I haven't been responding well to medications that maybe I would be better off without them. She's clearly never heard of treatment resistant. 

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3 hours ago, Always Unstable said:

She said because I haven't been responding well to medications that maybe I would be better off without them. She's clearly never heard of treatment resistant. 

I agree with you. 

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Crap. I think that I'm going mixed again. I have way too much energy and way too much agitation. And I'm having racing thoughts. I cannot board the cuckoo train again. Not now. Please. I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to take a big dose of Valium. Hopefully that will fix it. If not, you'll know the reason why I'm not around anymore.

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9 minutes ago, Flash said:

Crap. I think that I'm going mixed again. I have way too much energy and way too much agitation. And I'm having racing thoughts. I cannot board the cuckoo train again. Not now. Please. I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to take a big dose of Valium. Hopefully that will fix it. If not, you'll know the reason why I'm not around anymore.

How about a zyprexa?

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