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Anybody With Bipolar Want to Share?

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Mom says I'm talking fast. I took some clonazepam and that helped. Bought melatonin to help sleep. Anti-manic arsenal!

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On 6/19/2017 at 5:49 PM, Gearhead said:

It's funny you mention that now. I was thinking yesterday that I've broken more toes than I've not-broken, and a number of metatarsals, too, I think. Some of my toes I've broken more than once. I know from experience that it's actually better to break your big toe than your little toe, because you can turn your ankle out and walk on the outside of your foot, but you can't lean it in and walk on the big-toe side.

I hope your foot heals soon.

It's my little toe. I turn my foot inward as much as possible, but it's still painful in shoes, even if just walking a few blocks. I am just wearing socks at home now, and that's much better. I have issues leaving home, so I don't leave unless I absolutely have to. I think that's helped the healing process a lot.

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After four days on Provigil, I've managed to cut my Lunesta dose in half and still sleep good. I'm hoping in another couple of days I can d/c the Lunesta daily and just switch to PRN. It's really amazing not to feel sleepy all the time, and to actually get sleepy at a decent time of night. Makes me far more productive overall. Plus, my weight is dropping 1-2lbs/week since I stopped Trileptal, which is awesome. I'm eating a nominal amount instead of being ravenously hungry all day. Once I get my sleep/wake cycle ironed out, I'll figure out how to add exercise into the mix, but for now, I'm happy with progress!

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22 hours ago, KnickNak said:

I did some energy/ chakra thing with my therapist today.. wow, it was pretty interesting. We were inches apart face to face.. I get nervous being that close to someone's face, you should only be that close to someone if you are going to make out with them. Anyway.. it turned out she was aligning my chakras. Next week we will work on some more stuff. 

She also mentioned about getting one of these Himalayan lamps 

https://www.amazon.com/CRYSTAL-DECOR-Dimmable-Crafted-Himalayan/dp/B013V988KA/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_60_tr_t_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ENR5H64WVBEAWNAYYTZP

 

Is she a special kind of therapist?  I need abbeyter one that recommends shit like that!  

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I'm sorry, but i just can't subscribe to this stuff. I think it's all bullshit, quite frankly, and if you experience any relief, it's due to the placebo effect. That's not necessarily a bad thing. If it works for you, that's great. You've found a (hopefully) cheap solution. But if you're a skeptic, don't be surprised if it doesn't do jack shit for you. When I was younger, I tried a couple alternative therapies in desperation, and they never worked. In fact, one of them made things much worse. I'm sorry, but Chakras? Really? This is form of religion that has no basis in reality. REAL scientists from 50 years ago didn't even understand the biological processes of the human body very well, and now you're going to turn to advice from people who lived centuries, or even thousands of years ago? They didn't know diddly-squat. You might as well pray for relief.

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On 6/20/2017 at 9:46 PM, Flash said:

It's my little toe. I turn my foot inward as much as possible, but it's still painful in shoes, even if just walking a few blocks. I am just wearing socks at home now, and that's much better. I have issues leaving home, so I don't leave unless I absolutely have to. I think that's helped the healing process a lot.

You need one of these:

IMG_0378.JPG

Obviously they're crazy sexy, but the buggers really help. You'll also need a pretty flat shoe or very thick flip-flop to wear on the other foot to keep yourself level, and not injure your knees, hips, or back. Bodies are superfun.

 

 

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On 6/21/2017 at 8:11 PM, KnickNak said:

She is a regular therapist but also practices in reiki and some holistic approaches, which is very cool! She uses oils etc.. I yell at her sometimes and get defensive about how that stuff doesn't work , but actually.. it does. She did something to me... and it freaked me out.. because it was all energy related.

I just got the Chios Energy healing book for my birthday. It goes above and beyond just the chakras... it heals from all differeent layers of vibrations of the body. I can't wait to start reading it. I'd like to be an energy healer one day.

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4 hours ago, Alien Navel Cord said:

I just got the Chios Energy healing book for my birthday. It goes above and beyond just the chakras... it heals from all differeent layers of vibrations of the body. I can't wait to start reading it. I'd like to be an energy healer one day.

Sounds cool! Hope you enjoy the book , I am sure you could accomplish anything you want to. Good Luck!

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Exhausted and have ZERO motivation. Could I be depressed?

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*Dives in headfirst*

So, i haven't been around in quite some time - i've been feeling stable for a long time, meds have been on track, etc.. and life has been so very busy. I've moved in with my boyfriend, i'm back working in the care-giving field with a young schizophrenic boy, i'm doing photography again (!), etc, etc...and even doing more writing.

Boy, things are kind of slowed down around here, eh?

Anyway, though, it's not like things have been all roses. The Man is also bipolar, and isn't in a stable place - just started treatment just a few months ago, and his episodes seem to be fairly regular...like clockwork, almost. Which, because he can become delusional and quite unpleasant at times when in the throes of an episode, trigger some terrible things in ME. It's SO important for me to be vigilant with my meds right now - i'm needing my PRN risperdone a lot more lately, which makes me sad, just to deal with the stress lately. He's going through a rough patch which means I'M going through a rough patch. It makes me feel so unstable, which i normally don't feel anymore. It's frightening. Hate the disease, right? I do, so much. 

It's weird how easily i forgot how it feels to be unstable - i'm known as being such a down to earth, steady, unshakable person. The person who used to fly off the handle and lose her shit and be impulsive and reckless hasn't been around in a long time - i don't want her back around.  But i've lost my temper at him twice now in the past two weeks because he lost his shit at me when he was hypomanic.  Generally i'm able to recognize that he's having a delusional episode and keep it together. I'm disappointed in myself. I KNOW he's not rational during these moments. I think i was angry more at the fact that he was avoiding calling his doctor...and i was the one suffering the consequences.

But last night we were able to have a rational discussion and agree to a plan of action - for both of us. So i feel like things are back on track.  I think the only way a relationship with two MI people can work, really work, is if both are in treatment and actively working on their mental health - being self aware and talking honestly about what's going on, and able to own up to each other when they have hurt each other.  He apologized for the latest incident, i cried with the kittens in my lap for awhile, then we snuggled and talked some more, with him really being open about how he was feeling in his head. And more apologies.  Those moments are important so i don't feel like i'm losing my mind entirely.  I don't want to end up back in the bins - three times in is plenty for me, thanks. I just need to keep centered. This too shall pass...

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Feeling great atm. Went to the gym. Did 30 minutes on the treadmill walking 2 mph (I know it's not fast for a lot of people, but it is for me). Then I did 30 minutes on the recumbent bike at 10 mph. I didn't overdo it despite being hypo. I'm glad for that. 

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I'm at war with myself over Trileptal.  I reduced the dosage until Monday (terrible idea, I know) because the side effects have been so unbearable.  I feel damned if I do, damned if I don't.

 

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More than 1/2 of 2017 is over , have any of you accomplished any goals or something different that you may have wanted to do .. or have something you want to do in the next few months. 

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