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thanks.

I just got back from Safeway with pork chops and two sodas.these days it seems like a luxury.

it's only 11am but I need to eat something real so badly.

 

it was such a relief to get that little sum of money,I know how to make it stretch.

 

I will look into the 25 dollar copay thing re abilify but my pdoc suggested Lunesta.

I don't know anything about Lunesta.all i know is that Abilify has to go if i want to uphold the lifestyle

I'm used to now.

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Wow.

Went to my tdoc appointment. Became really diassociative (her words) to the point I couldn't follow what she was saying or talk very clearly myself and I was floating. Now I'm off to the pdoc.

I didn't know what to say be cause I was split in two and and the half in charge of communication was unfortunately the half that was floating and didn't know what was going on.

I returned to earth after a nice lunch and a walk around the park. I wonder when my next flight leaves. I kind of know when, but I hope I'm wrong.

This day is going places.

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Well, my pdoc put me on a new med in hopes that it will help. We are doing drastic changes so I'm a little leery. This is my cocktail: equetro, Wellbutrin, zoloft, pamelor, klonipin, rozerem, & know fetzima (which is a fairly new drug). I'm supposed to be weaning myself off the pamelor and Zoloft. I'm to the point of feeling completely hopeless. I know that I need to do what the pdoc says but I want to get better sooner rather than later. I've decided to not wean myself off the meds just to see if it will flip my mood. My only concern is that I hope that it doesn't make me agitated.

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I think it is a bad idea not to follow your pdocs orders. He might be concerned about cross reactions, which could prevent a med from working at all, for all you know.

 

If you are going to refuse to titrate off of them, you need to call your pdoc and let him know, so that if you fall apart, he will know the full story.

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Well, my pdoc put me on a new med in hopes that it will help. We are doing drastic changes so I'm a little leery. This is my cocktail: equetro, Wellbutrin, zoloft, pamelor, klonipin, rozerem, & know fetzima (which is a fairly new drug). I'm supposed to be weaning myself off the pamelor and Zoloft. I'm to the point of feeling completely hopeless. I know that I need to do what the pdoc says but I want to get better sooner rather than later. I've decided to not wean myself off the meds just to see if it will flip my mood. My only concern is that I hope that it doesn't make me agitated.

 

Maybe you'll feel better if you were off of the pamelor and zoloft ... you won't know though unless you give your body a chance off of them.

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I wish I could take my cat to tdoc/pdoc appointments. How cool would that be??

 :)  That would be awesome ... I don't have a cat, but if so and I brought it to pdoc it might make me calmer.  Although, now that I think about that, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea because then pdoc wouldn't necessarily know how you have been doing, because your cat would be probably calming you down some.

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woke up an hour ago with that ice cold feeling of anxiety throughout my body and mind.

I lay in bed for awhile just trying to manage to get up.

I took 0.5 Clonazepam(PRN)and two cups of coffee.

i have a life now,stuff to take care of,I want to stay in bed,but can't.

 

it sucks to take meds for every little action i make.

one to get up,one for this ,one for that.

but I have to keep reminding myself that I am NOT suicidal.

no despair all the time.

 

I hope it's worth it.I'm using ALL my money on MI stuff and cheap food.

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I've brought my cat with me before.  She stays in her carrier, and it is nice to have her there.

 

 

 

You're awesome... I wish I could do that, but all my cats would be very unhappy both about the ride and the carrier. I'd have to let them out, and I'm not sure the doc would like that.

 

  :)  That would be awesome ... I don't have a cat, but if so and I brought it to pdoc it might make me calmer.  Although, now that I think about that, maybe that wouldn't be a good idea because then pdoc wouldn't necessarily know how you have been doing, because your cat would be probably calming you down some.

 

 

 

 

Yes, that's true, and I'd probably be more interested in the cat than I would in talking. My attention when an animal is present:  humans < animals. hehe

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I stated that I generally do not paint about myself or my issues. This was an exception. It's a good 6 years old now, but I did it during a period of mixed states and I think it's still pretty accurate for my experiences, looking back at it now. Maybe you guys will see something too.

 

Anyway, here it is, I thought I would share it...

 

Edited by saintalto
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I stated that I generally do not paint about myself or my issues. This was an exception. It's a good 6 years old now, but I did it during a period of mixed states and I think it's still pretty accurate for my experiences, looking back at it now. Maybe you guys will see something too.

 

Anyway, here it is, I thought I would share it...

 

 

 

 

You are an such amazing artist! I wish I had even a fraction of your talent, I can't really practice any art, even though I'd like to. And I think it is a very accurate way to visually articulate what a mixed episode feels like, I certainly see that.

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I stated that I generally do not paint about myself or my issues. This was an exception. It's a good 6 years old now, but I did it during a period of mixed states and I think it's still pretty accurate for my experiences, looking back at it now. Maybe you guys will see something too.

 

I think you did a great job on that picture!  I'm glad you posted it.

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