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Give your husband a kiss, tell him you love him, and say you want to enjoy being with him, which is hard while you feel sick. Maybe go out for a splashy dinner when your meds are working a little better. Set a date now, but be flexible.

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I start school today! ?? After a very, very long break from any kind of actual schooling, I am going back to school this morning. My first class starts at 11:45, the second not until 5:00 pm. It'

I feel really mentally well these days. I can honestly say I feel happy (not pathologically happy) for the first time in a long time. I hope it continues!

I was just told that whatever meds I was on for the past two months, they were WORKING and I should have stuck with them because I've never seemed so happy and animated. I was uncomfortably manic that

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I feel like I'm about to lose it. My supervisor just said that we'll meet to discuss my workload. I feel like I'm not doing my job properly. They tell me I am but all of this tells me I'm not. I just told my boss that my workload is fine. He told me that him and my supervisors are going to meet to discuss how this new person can help me. They're going to fire me, they're just finding a way to get rid of me. I can't stop crying. 

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I'm sure they're not going to get rid of you! Maybe they really do just want to lessen your workload and help you out. I recently had a similar situation, I was volunteering for too many extracurricular work things like safety team leader and stuff like that. My store manager eventually had to tell me I needed to drop a few things because it was too much and was taking me away from my actual job.

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Had a total meltdown the other day..

Child like tantrum of yelling..crying that scared my Ma and myself.

Wanted to throw things and break everything in site.

Was as if I was watching myself doing this but couldn't stop.

I was distant from my actions and lost all control.

I feel like I'm completely unraveling.

How a moment of emotional rage can bring peace and shame is beyond my understanding.

Sorry I just jumped in with my issues..

Just had to get it out..

I totally know what your talking about, been there and done that, ugh

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Yeah maybe. I just feel that if I was a good worker then they wouldn't feel the need to help me out, you know? The last time I was assigned an "assistant" was around the time I got hospitalized. I mean, yes at that time I was unstable and probably needed it but now I'm stable, I don't see why they think I need the help if I'm a good worker. Which then makes me think that I'm not a good worker. 

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My pdoc who thinks I can't possibly be that sick because I can hold it together (with baling wire and spit) may soon get her wish.  I'm rapidly reaching the point of no return, in which it becomes clear that No, no I can't hold it together.  Because I'm tired of holding it together, just let it all fall apart.  Somebody will pick up the pieces.

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thanks everyone re: my little meltdown over not being sane on my husband's birthday.  it's me with the high expectations of what should happen, he's fine with whatever.  i've just been measuring how i'm doing by how much i can get done right in a day and that's not really working out so well lately.  time to throw that yardstick out.

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I feel sick from trying to study for 1 of 2 exams. I need a genuine break/rest. But the hypo part of me wants to keep on and on till my eyes give out from reading practice questions over and over again. The hypo part of me says " I must get an "A" " the realistic part of me says, "do your best." Sigh...

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Bf got into vet school! In the Caribbean, but I'm still so happy for him! :D Now to only hope he gets into a US school. Either way the important is he's going to be a vet! 

 

Our cat however had mixed feelings. Because he wants to be a large animal vet which offends our cat. :P

Edited by iaawal
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I left therapy feeling more at ease than when I came in. And not just talking about my feelings. Real, concrete plans to manage my emotions and curb dangerous impulsive behavior. This woman has saved my life on multiple occasions. I am extremely lucky.

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