Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
angel_heart

Anybody With Bipolar Want to Share?

Recommended Posts

That's what I'm thinking. I mean, I can get myself out of bed in the morning but once I get there, I can't even make myself care. I'm tired of supervisor positions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't feel like I'm a real person. Like I'm thinking that maybe I'm a cat just disguised as a person. Or a ghost.

 

i went through a period of feeling like i was already dead and came back as a ghost. no fun. hope you feel better soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not sure if I'm just lazy or if something is up. I did get my breakfast dishes done, but it's 15:45 and I'm not sure what else I've done all day. I have to figure out what to do for dinner yet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

waves at John C. Reilly iaawal ;)

 

oh, sing it.  chicago, you can keep your cell block tango and all that jazz.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a friend come over last night and stay the night. Today we walked to the art store and I bought gel pens and on the way there I was like "Am I going to come out of depression am I going to come out am I going to switch I haven't been taking my medication WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!" and then on the way back I stared at the ground and I was very tired. After coming out of my first KNOWN manic phase, and having spiraled into depression I'm constantly using everything I do that isn't lying in bed to predict that I'm not going to be depressed anymore because I'm so tired of it. Does anyone else do that? Like you take a shower and it's just like "Is it over now? Am I okay? Am I going to be suddenly not depressed next time I wake up?"
Can anybody relate to that, especially when you first got your diagnosis?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Does anyone else do that? Like you take a shower and it's just like "Is it over now? Am I okay? Am I going to be suddenly not depressed next time I wake up?"

 

Episodes with me happens gradually.  I don't really think about whether something has ended or not; it happens gradually, without me knowing it.  Then eventually I realize I am out of an episode.

 

 

Am I going to be suddenly not depressed next time I wake up?"

 

I have this problem also every time I wake up.  I never know how I will wake up after sleeping.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Episodes with me happens gradually.  I don't really think about whether something has ended or not; it happens gradually, without me knowing it.  Then eventually I realize I am out of an episode.

 

Yeah, so far it seems like they're gradual. This is one of the most distinctive depressive episodes I've had. It had a beginning. The rest of my life hadn't had very distinctive episodes yet so I feel like I've been depressed my whole life. I'm worried that it's going to last for a very long time so every time I accomplish the tiniest thing while depressed I hope it means I'm going to be doing better than I am now in like a month or two. I'm scared it'll be years. I guess I'm just struggling with accepting that my life is really unstable right now and I'm dealing with my illness at the same time. Like, my challenge and goal for a day is to feed myself and get my migration medication refilled and that's a big victory but I'm also supposed to not lose my apartment and being able to handle more stuff isn't happening fast enough for me. Every time I do anything my hope is "I'll be better in three weeks and I'll be able to take on everything I'm judging myself for not being able to take on."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seriously. How do my coworker get confused when operating the thermometer. Press one button to turn on, press again to take the temp. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate this disorder!  It takes your sanity, your mind, and sometimes your life. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband just gave me a lecture on being a responsible adult. I decided to try and block out the conversation by assuming the turtle pose. I guess that just solidified the fact that I can't responsibly adult.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd be pretty fucking unhappy if my husband gave me that kind of lecture. What does that even mean?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, I was pretty pissed. But then I tried to see it from his perspective and I think he's just stressed. I stepped down into a lower position at work because of general stress and unhappiness. Means I'm taking a reasonable paycut. I'm fine with it, I can't bring myself to care about it right now. He's kind of passed though. We can still pay all our bills and stuff just not save as much which is why he's annoyed because we're moving to Australia next year. He keeps bringing up my stepping down and I'm tired of hearing about it now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Similar Content

    • By Aeiou62
      I need some energy, some motivation, some good manic voodoo. Why cant i have that without losing my damn fool mind.?
      Hasnt anyone looked at that? Why must I be either lazy and lethargic or 90mph? Im always tired, always fatigued. I need to know how to get my mojo going WITHOUT my kookoo taging along every time. I cant believe nobody has studied this.
    • By braindeadbedhead
      This is a long shot, but I figure I can't be the only one who has ever had this thought. Is there a way to induce a state that includes the productivity/happiness of mania - without all the extra bullshit? 😅
      Mania is better than any drug, the euphoria is incomparable. Every time I skip a few days of sleep, feel an increase in energy, or anything that might be the beginning of an episode, I think - ''Please let this be the onset of the best feeling in the world. I can't do this shit anymore''. I feel so guilty admitting to that, because I know that being manic and being functional are generally not compatible. I also don't ever want to end up in hospital again, because that never fails to be a de-humanizing experience.
      I have not had any symptoms of mania since my last hospital admission, three whole years ago. It was the first and only manic episode that I've ever had, and it lasted for about three months. I feel like I could have avoided hospital completely if I had experienced mania without the accompanying psychosis. If I could just achieve that level of elation without:
      rapid speech word-salad delusional beliefs dangerously impulsive acts (e.g. jumping out of a car on the highway because the sky looked beautiful and I wanted a loser look) I look back on those ugly symptoms and I could never cope with them now. I go to college full-time, I work, and I have so much to lose if I lost the ability to communicate with others and behave safely. On the other hand - my life just feels so damn gray and stagnant; I miss feeling invincible. 
    • By csr
      For the last 20 years i am taking, 800mg Lithium, 200mg Quitipine, 150mg Serlift, 150mg of Bioprion, 0.75 of Alprozolam.  I am now 54 years. Life is going on by God Grace. 
       
       Physiological Problems Either 
      Mental Illness   2. Behaviour 
      In Behaviour  special children  in public places Masterbating, or touching the Genetical Parts or Touching Chin....... 
         
      For me, from the age of 28 years to till now, I did not go to the above extreme, but 
      Whenever I go outside I used to see Ladies private parts, then my mind change to normal. I was working many firms for the  lost 30 years. 
         
      Now I am facing shame is , my daughter 22 years. When we go outside me, wife and daughter, I did the same thing and my daughter noticed also. Still many responsibility for me, like my daughter marriage, then there is  a  functions etc. 
         
      So I want your advise. I need to have Therapy or Physiatrist Doctor. Can you pls advise. 
       
      I have been on Sertaline 100mg for the last 20 years and for the last 5 years Buprion 150mg XL (to reduce the smoking, i reduced to 4 per day). As i said above an example, i find very hypersexuality and i find one article today. Here i enclosed here.
        My question: how to replace Sertaline 100mg and will stop Buproin 150mg completely. Can anyone give suggestion Pls.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

    • By thebakerbunny
      Hi, all. I feel like a newb oldie: been on here a while, still feel dumb as shit with all the o chem breakdowns and acronyms.
      Anyway- I've been maxed out on effexor xr for years now. I've taken it pretty consistently for...12 years? with a few breaks to try something new. There aren't many details I can remember well (always had a bad memory, now it's basically a vestigial feature), but here's what I've garnered: 
      *SSRIs and i seem to not mix. Not just some side effects, but all the side effects, and no or negative improvement.
      *wellbutrin did nothing for me. Not good, not bad- just nothing. 
      *Effexor was good- great, even- before I tapped out. I've just been staying with it till I can figure something out.
      *currently, I take 225 mg Effexor (and several doctors have told me now that they flat out won't go above that), 150 lamictal, and klonopin and Ambien as needed. (And as I've been mightily depressed lately...I've been "as needing" them a lot more.)
       
      I've been wanting to change for a while now, and I've been studying up to see what might be some better options, but haven't had a tdoc or pdoc in the meantime. I'm meeting new ones shortly and I want to take some suggestions to them. Problem is that I'm allergic to a few things, with varying degrees of severity and type of allergic reactions. Any suggestions of SNRIs, TCAs, or MAOIs that aren't: 
      *sulfa-meds (full body hives. Like...full body- between my toes, in my buttcrack...😬)
      *compazine (difficult breathing, light anaphylaxis.)
      *darvocet, Vicodin (full-blown anaphylaxis.)
       
      I have been given morphine with no reaction (so, what- does this mean that synethics cause issues, but cleaner natural versions don't?), and take imitrex regularly. I'm not smart enough to understand all of the individual components, and too ADD to have the patience to learn which causes what.
      I feel like it's got be something pretty potent, since I've been middling- to severely-depressed pretty constantly (easily 8 out those 12 years), but I also don't need anything that's going to make me lethargic. Apathetic, fine- just please, no serious drowsiness.  
      I defer to you guys and gals and pals for what your thoughts are on what might be most effective, but also won't send me to the ER.
       
    • By Adolf
      "Best" as in being effective with fewer side effects. Which ones were the best for you? Which ones did you take? What condition(s) did you treat? What side effects did you get? How did the antipsychotics compare to "conventional" antidepressants?
      Can antipsychotics be an alternative to "conventional" antidepressants? What are the risks? What are the benefits? Do they make you a tomato with time? Psychiatrists prescribe them more often in recent times, it seems.
×
×
  • Create New...