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Addict: Being Verbally Abused Do I Deserve This?

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I live with my ex boyfriend since I'm trying to save money to move out.


I sometimes (twice a month) go on a day long binge of soda, he sometimes participates. When I use all by myself I'm quiet, watching T.V. or on my computer. He will then go into a long rant calling me every bad name I can think of. It brings me to tears and worries me. 


Do I deserve this kind of treatment?

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If you are using illegal substances, and a significant other is behaving that way, than that other person needs help and support to cope with your behaviour. Otherwise they take their feelings out on you, and it may not be pretty. So, while you don't deserve it, he may not know how else to cope. 

There are places that he can look to get support, but if you're planning on leaving soon anyway, then it might be best to just try to minimize your use for now.

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I am also assuming you mean cocaine when you say "soda"


I think also he is having an issue with you using possibly, it is hard to see someone you care about doing that. If you are moving out it would be beneficial to steer clear of him until you do. And maybe seek help in your problems with illegal substances. There are programs out there, many are anonymous that can help you in overcoming using drugs, and of course we are here for support as well.

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Why does it bring you to tears?  Are you afraid he'll become violent, or do you maybe put stock into what he thinks of you?  If it's the latter, perhaps consider the root of your feelings about him.


Also, as someone who has used too much and dated someone who did the same, it's not a good scene- mix that with living with an ex and it's a recipe for disaster.


You absolutely do not deserve it, no one for a second does, so keep your head up, and utilize supports until you can GTFO and move on with your life.


Best wishes

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Thank You.


By soda I meant cocaine. Since I posted this, I've been getting help and seeing my therapist. I've also put a deposit on an apartment for myself and will sign the rental agreement tomorrow.


I do not want to go into too much but his actions are out of line and when I've had long periods of sobriety he still rages. I am the one who chose to put up with it but not anymore.

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