Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I live with my ex boyfriend since I'm trying to save money to move out.

 

I sometimes (twice a month) go on a day long binge of soda, he sometimes participates. When I use all by myself I'm quiet, watching T.V. or on my computer. He will then go into a long rant calling me every bad name I can think of. It brings me to tears and worries me. 

 

Do I deserve this kind of treatment?

Link to post
Share on other sites

nobody deserves that

 

is English not your first language?

a day long binge of soda??  does that mean you drink coke all day?

not quite clear but no one should be screaming at you and calling you names

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you are using illegal substances, and a significant other is behaving that way, than that other person needs help and support to cope with your behaviour. Otherwise they take their feelings out on you, and it may not be pretty. So, while you don't deserve it, he may not know how else to cope. 

There are places that he can look to get support, but if you're planning on leaving soon anyway, then it might be best to just try to minimize your use for now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am also assuming you mean cocaine when you say "soda"

 

I think also he is having an issue with you using possibly, it is hard to see someone you care about doing that. If you are moving out it would be beneficial to steer clear of him until you do. And maybe seek help in your problems with illegal substances. There are programs out there, many are anonymous that can help you in overcoming using drugs, and of course we are here for support as well.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why does it bring you to tears?  Are you afraid he'll become violent, or do you maybe put stock into what he thinks of you?  If it's the latter, perhaps consider the root of your feelings about him.

 

Also, as someone who has used too much and dated someone who did the same, it's not a good scene- mix that with living with an ex and it's a recipe for disaster.

 

You absolutely do not deserve it, no one for a second does, so keep your head up, and utilize supports until you can GTFO and move on with your life.

 

Best wishes

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank You.

 

By soda I meant cocaine. Since I posted this, I've been getting help and seeing my therapist. I've also put a deposit on an apartment for myself and will sign the rental agreement tomorrow.

 

I do not want to go into too much but his actions are out of line and when I've had long periods of sobriety he still rages. I am the one who chose to put up with it but not anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Similar Content

    • By Blahblah
      I've posted on this topic before, because I'm really wondering why this is happening to me, but not on other people that have been on higher-dose stimulants (without breaks) for MUCH longer....
      I re-instated Ritalin (after a 4 month break) due to increase in work cognitive tasks. Pdoc increased the dosage because previous dose was starting to not cut it, wearing off early. I Was told I could experiment, but to take weekends/breaks off in order to "rest" . In the last 3 weeks, I've noticed drastic improvements in my mood, motivation, ability to focus on intellectual tasks/reading, and a positivity, calmness in general.
      Problem is, I am psychologically addicted. When I try to break on the weekends, I can't get out of bed, barely prepare food for myself (despite hunger), and shower, basically, these symptoms are MUCH worse than before I was taking it! I'm concerned that I'll need to keep increasing the dose, take it everyday, and eventually, it will make my condition/functioning worse in the long run (exacerbating the problem). I had old pdocs that would not prescribe me stimulants for exactly this reason.....(I am not ADD.....it is for TRD.)
      Any ideas guys? I'm very compliant, and have no inclination to abuse the dosage. This is the only thing that's made a dent in my mood and functioning and does not seem like a long-term solution!
    • By Cerberus
      National Public Radio recently ran a story covering a Standford University study that found that Ketamine may act as an opioid, and therefore may have the potential to cause addiction. See? It's like I always say: Glass half empty. But this is a preliminary study, and the findings will have to be duplicated by others.
      Listen to the story.
    • By Blahblah
      So, I guess this post is about how I can deal with this issue...My SO is on his iPhone 24/7, even while walking down the street, eating meals with me, and when we are watching TV or a film at home. I cannot get him to get off it! I look over his shoulder and its crap (not important stuff), like stupid memes, Twitter feed, sports scores.
      I've told him constantly that it really irritates me and makes me feel like I do not matter. I feel ignored. Yet he keeps going back on it. What else can I do??? Then I start going on my iPhone too, and this gets me depressed. I try to go out, and keep myself occupied away from him, but then when we're together he's non-stop digitally connected.
    • By Dewey
      I woke up this morning, feeling panic overwhelming me over a negative response from my neighbor.  The emotion I am experiencing is deep distress and I can feel it internally crushing me.  I am not coping at all well with this. 
      I find myself drawn to her because we share a common trauma background.  Sometimes she comes to my apartment just to talk about all this and I feel soo connected to her.  I am beginning to come to the conclusion that she has some borderline traits in her - it's the push away and suddenly pull back. She acts like she hates me and suddenly she loves me and tells me so.  When she pushes away, it's an awful experience and leaves me an emotional wreck.  Then she will come back and saturate me with her needs to talk about soo many things where I live, her emotional instability issues, etc.  I sit and listen and we talk and I feel better after she leaves and we are finally getting along, only to be assaulted again verbally from her and weeks go by and she ignores me. 
      Another odd thing about her.  With this intimate friendship I have with her (Intimate meaning sharing of like experiences),  she will call on my cell or text me but when she is out and about with her friends (she only goes out in public with her friends), she ignores me and so do they. 
      So, this morning I am experiencing her pushing me away violently last night. 
      I am drawn to this behavior from her, as it feeds into my cycle of abuse history.  I used to go back to my mother just to be abused.  I would call her and she would act delighted to hear from me and tell me how much she loves me, only moments later to go for the jugular.  I would walk away from that telephone conversation feeling completely ruined.  This is what is occurring with my neighbor, I am in the dance of abuse with her and I don't know how to get out of it.  Even just recognizing what is really going on, I can't seem to extricate myself from her.
      I block her telephone calls and texting one minute and then open it back up.  Last night I shut off my phone so that I would not be tempted to read any lingering texts from her and react to it.  This morning when I turned on my phone, she did not respond to my last text to her and I was disappointed and fearful what she must be saying behind my back to her 4 close friends. 
      I live in fear of her and in fear of myself when she abuses me.  It takes alot of work to pick myself back up each time. 
    • By theforest
      I've been in therapy for 5 years. Also medicated. I have a good job. I have a supportive husband. I have a home. But years of abuse and insanity still get the better of me sometimes and I feel like I don't deserve anything good, or that people will "find out" that I am a horrible person (I have bad elements and good), and I still have days/weeks. when I am extremely self destructive. The current incarnation is that (a) I am fighting dwindling self consciousnes and social awkwardness, - all part of myregular repertoire - but now (b) for no reason whatsoever I am fighting against the development of an eating disorder, which is a new development in my crazy. I am in my late forties. WTH, brain? WHY? Why do I do this to myself? 
       
       
       
×
×
  • Create New...