Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

this depression has taken a new turn. I just kind of.. exist. I stare at the tv or the computer screen, but I don't really pay attention to what I am looking at. I have no real interest in the things that I normally enjoy- even while depressed.

I usually don't get this way. when I am depressed I will focus on one or two aspects of my shitty life and ruminate on them, feeling ever more hopeless and pathetic. but that isn't what is happening now. I'm not really thinking of anything. I just feel empty. sad.

what about all of you? do you find that sometimes your depressions just... change? that some are just markedly different from the rest? this one is kind of freaking me out because I can't really talk about it because it is hard to describe.

anyway, thanks for reading

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Depressions take on different forms at different times.  Sometimes I can't stop crying.  Sometimes I feel empty like you described.  Sometimes I am agitated.

 

Have you talked with your pdoc and/or tdoc about the change in your depression?  It might help to listen to some music that you like or get outside and get some sun.  Try to get out and do something you enjoy.   I'm afraid those are rather weak suggestions in the face of what you are going through.  I'm sorry that you are feeling like this and I hope things look up for you soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have the odd day , like today, where despite being on meds which normally keep me bobbing along, I feel totally and utterly miserable and can't see beyond the gloom. It may have been sunny and an otherwise lovely day but I just couldn't shrug off the feeling of wanting to end it all.

The positive is that I know from experience that this will pass and it serves no purpose to wallow in the sadness. Just accept that as how I feel for now and that I will feel different (?better) very soon.

You need to find your own way through this - there seems to be no universal answer, but ruminating is probably not helpful. 

Nothing stays the same.

If doing nothing fells ok then do nothing, if not then do SOMETHING - anything, distraction is OK

Feel for you

 

Krish

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My depression definitely takes different twists and turns in doling out its agony. There are times when I cannot stop crying or just FEELING every damn thing, and it all hurts. There are times when I lose insight, and while the depression is obvious to those around me, I feel that it is a personality trait like being an animal lover or shy. When really it is a disease. And then there are the days and weeks when I feel numb, apathetic and drained of all life. My depression is like a living entity which changes shape and structure in order to cause me fresh pain and keep me guessing. It evolves as I evolve to tolerate it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"I stare at the tv or the computer screen, but I don't really pay attention to what I am looking at." describes what goes on with me. I just stare at things and feel immensely empty. No knowing what to feel, or do, or act. I feel you, dude. Hah.

 

Depression sucks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My depressive symptoms definately take many twists and turns...

 

Most of the time though I'm empty feeling, like you describe. I don't feel anything. I don't give a fuck about anything. I feel like a hollow shell with no personality. I will stare off into space a lot with an empty and blank mind and nothing spontaneously popping up. My attention seems affected like I can't absorb words and process them. I just stare at them wondering what it all means...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are lots of variants, and that very much includes for each individual.

 

Anhedonia  is the formal name for when nothing lights up, when "nothing tastes"

Pure personal wondering: if it might be a brain attempt at dealing with emotional pain that has damped down *everything*

 

I've been there, gong through days set on "grey" and "routine".

Other times I've been able to find bright spots activities that seemed fun and worthwhile as long as I could concentrate on them, only to swing drastically into painful hopelessness the moment I couldn't

(I liken that to driving a car with bad tracking, which I've done: I can hold it straight, but the moment my concentration slips it veers instantly and invariably one way.)

 

Chris

 

.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Depression can take many different forms and having just one word for it seems inadequate. Eskimos have so many words for snow and there could be as many words for the ways in which you can feel depressed. Emptiness is a familiar feeling. For me it's not the thought that I've failed at this game called life but that the game itself is stupid and pointless, and there's no way to win anyhow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I get so depressed sometimes that I can't even post on a site like this.  I start to type, then I feel like it's worthless anyways.  Depression definitely makes living a lot more difficult than it already is.  what gets me is feeling nothing.  Can't think or concentrate.  Almost like I'm surrounded by strangers floating through space and I'm not welcome.  Kinda strange to even put down, but its a very dark place to be in for sure.  Hope you feel better.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah me too...my depression has all kinds of fun side effects--don't care, don't move, can't concentrate, wanna sleep 24/7...you name it... My favorite is when it makes me feel unreal--like I don't know who I am or that I've lost the last 10 years and can't explain where they went... That 'empty' feeling is the pits too--it's like nothing will fill that void inside--I try with "stuff" like from shopping, or whatever, but nothing makes the emptiness go away.

Depression is terrible stuff.

Edited by Brokendishes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...