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Hello! My name is Kristen, I am 22 years old, I live in Michigan, I have a year and a half year old son, I am married, I have a cat, a dog, and a snake, I workout and do Insanity.. Blah blah blah. I am in the process of finding out exactly what is going on with me. Up until a few days ago, I had no idea anything was wrong. I knew I was crazy, but not 'I need meds' crazy. The doctor says I have bipolar disorder and need to see a psychiatrist. He will be able to tell me more about what is wrong, what meds I need to start, and how I can figure out my 'triggers' and how to stay calm. I am curious to know if maybe any of you have the same thing going on that I do. In my head, I swear I will have done something (as small as wipe down the counter), then when I turn around, it is trashed (because it never got wiped down in the first place), I think my husband came behind me a trashed it, so I get way pissed at him and yell at him for not helping me and respecting when I clean, blah blah.. I'll think I said something to someone, but then the next time I talked to them, it was never said. If I hear a baby OTHER THAN MINE cry,  I am instantly in a crazy rage. Doesn't matter what is happening, I could be having sex, but if a baby cries, instant rage. I go through these phases where I can't sleep, and have a ridiculous amount of energy, and I clean. I clean and clean and clean. Everything, even the sponges and cleaning bottles I use. Then I go through these phases where I am tired and upset and don't want to even live anymore (even though I would never kill myself, I love my child too much to EVER do that). I get claustrophobic and panicky over things that make no sense (one time something will bother me, then it won't, then it will). I feel as if I don't know the difference between reality and bipolar reality. Does that even make sense? Ugg, who knows! I will let ya'll know whats going as I find out from my doctor. 
One more thing! I don't like taking medicine. I don't like the thought of having to take uppers and downers and mood stabilizers. It scares the shit out of me. Anyone else have these feelings, but needs meds? 

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Welcome to Crazyboards.  Please read the User Agreement, if you didn't do that when you signed up.  (I ask all new members to do this)

 

I think you are asking a lot of the same questions that many of us did when we were first diagnosed.  Only you and your psychiatrist can decide when and if you should try medications.  We have people here who, when unmedicated, lost their marriages, their houses, their jobs, their savings, and their families.  It can get pretty messy.

 

If you want to talk to people with a bipolar diagnosis, post your questions in the bipolar forum.  You will get lots of responses from people with varying opinions of meds.

 

I think you should keep an open mind about it until you meet with a psychiatrist.  You might also ask him about therapy, which might help you with some of your issues.

 

I'm glad you came here.  This is a very supportive community and people will go out of their way to share their experiences with you.

 

olga

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Hello! My name is Kristen, I am 22 years old, I live in Michigan, I have a year and a half year old son, I am married, I have a cat, a dog, and a snake, I workout and do Insanity.. Blah blah blah. I am in the process of finding out exactly what is going on with me. Up until a few days ago, I had no idea anything was wrong. I knew I was crazy, but not 'I need meds' crazy. The doctor says I have bipolar disorder and need to see a psychiatrist. He will be able to tell me more about what is wrong, what meds I need to start, and how I can figure out my 'triggers' and how to stay calm. I am curious to know if maybe any of you have the same thing going on that I do. In my head, I swear I will have done something (as small as wipe down the counter), then when I turn around, it is trashed (because it never got wiped down in the first place), I think my husband came behind me a trashed it, so I get way pissed at him and yell at him for not helping me and respecting when I clean, blah blah.. I'll think I said something to someone, but then the next time I talked to them, it was never said. If I hear a baby OTHER THAN MINE cry,  I am instantly in a crazy rage. Doesn't matter what is happening, I could be having sex, but if a baby cries, instant rage. I go through these phases where I can't sleep, and have a ridiculous amount of energy, and I clean. I clean and clean and clean. Everything, even the sponges and cleaning bottles I use. Then I go through these phases where I am tired and upset and don't want to even live anymore (even though I would never kill myself, I love my child too much to EVER do that). I get claustrophobic and panicky over things that make no sense (one time something will bother me, then it won't, then it will). I feel as if I don't know the difference between reality and bipolar reality. Does that even make sense? Ugg, who knows! I will let ya'll know whats going as I find out from my doctor. 

One more thing! I don't like taking medicine. I don't like the thought of having to take uppers and downers and mood stabilizers. It scares the shit out of me. Anyone else have these feelings, but needs meds? 

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Yes.   when it was suggested my reaction was no way.   I don't want to take pills that will turn me into a veg.  I've been changed around.   Life goes a lot better for some of us that can be medicated right and lead a normal existence.   Or at least keep it normaler.   Medication for me has not made me into a veg or zoned me out.  In fact there are times I think "They don't do anything.  I don't feel it changing me"  The subtle effect is to not be screwed up.   Therapy might be all you need.  Maybe medication is all you need.   I would say to explore both and figure out what works for you.   Be open minded - I had to be convinced that mental illness was "real" and that it wasn't some Character flaw or whatever.   btw Welcome!  Its a good place here to learn your not alone and there are solutions. 

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Hello and Welcome to CB, Kristen!

 

It sounds like you have a lot of questions.  I know I did when I was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II.  As olga suggested, try asking some of your questions in the Bipolar Forum.  I'm sure you'll get some good answers.

 

Its not fun taking meds, but its also not fun having episode after episode.

 

Please don't hesitate to contact a staff member if you have any questions or concerns.

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