Dilemma?

[WinterRosie]

I have acquired some painkillers. I just want to stop hurting for a little while. I won't take them all at once, or anything. Once every few weeks won't get me addicted (I don't think...?)

Is that so bad? I don't see why this is bad or wrong. Do I not deserve to be at peace for a little while?

[acquiring labels daily]

are we talking about psychic or physical pain? if the pain is physical, why did you have to 'acquire' the meds instead of getting them from the doc?

not trying to get on your case, just trying to let you know where my mind went as I read the post. I completely understand wanting to feel better for a while- regardless of the type of pain that you are trying to eliminate. it just might be better to do so with the help of your health care team.

take care of yourself rosie

[WinterRosie]

No one will believe that the pain is real. We've been complaining of it for 20 years, intermittently. So stopped seeing doctors for a while, because it never helped.

I don't know what it is, but it's been there for a long time. Maybe it's psychic, but shows itself physically. I don't know. 

 

I just want to be in a different place. One that is less hurty. Even if it's only for a little while.

I guess that's 'the wrong reason' although I have no idea why.

[Guest]

If you know you can disciplined to have a little break, maybe.

 

But I suppose having a small break from pain might make returning to it worse. My SO manages extreme chronic pain from a genetic disorder, it can be managed somewhat by meds but not treated in any meaningful way. I know he often takes a judgment call on how to best use his painkillers, but part of the reason he is reluctant to take them a lot is because returning to that pain after a medicated break can be so much worse. 

 

How would you feel post a pain break, and would you be tempted to take more pills? If you have a strategy for after the painkiller break, maybe it would work out, but I imagine you'd have to have a plan and you would be sharing the plan with someone else in your life. If this is secret, that suggests you are keeping an element of control around it for fear of someone pointing out it is not healthy

 

That said, after seeing my SO's chronic pain, I am not criticizing or judging. It is a shitty thing to live with.

Edited September 12, 2013 by Titania

[MrTastybutt]

Chronic pain does suck.  I went to doctors for more than 24 years before I finally got some kind of treatment.  The meds that I get for it don't knock it out but it does keep me from hurting all the time.

 

I have to agree with Titania.

[AnneMarie]

"Acquiring" pain meds and posting here about what to do comes off a little like an addict asking permission to get high just once or twice. Pain relief may be your primary objective but somehow in what you said, it's not clearly that.

 

The thing about narcotics is that you have to get some level of high for them to do much about the pain. The relief usually is incomplete and relatively short. The combo of getting high and pain relief may be really hard not to want to relive again and again. And, as you know, you end up needing more and more.

 

There are pain meds like Lyrica that work differently than narcotics. I think you are better off trying different doctors seeking answers to cause and psychological and non-narcotic pain relief methods.

 

You are tempting fate. I don't think you would have posted if you didn't already know that. Toss. Give the system another chance. You are a more self-assured person now. A fresh start with docs can include a more assertive you.