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Don't know what I'm developing.. neither does my psychologist


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If anyone has any insight into this please help me...
I stopped smoking marijuana 3 months ago and since have developed intense intrusive thoughts such as thinking I'm gay and thinking im a pedophile, and thinking I'm in hell, thinking that my mom was doing something to my food to make me crazy, just obsessive, extremely irrational thoughts that i wish would just go away. its been going on for 95 days now. and they have all really gone away, except this past week the thought that has been in my head is that " what if people are robots," and it causes me so much distress because its madness but the thought wont go away, and im always trying to rationalize it and I've never lost insight. I just want the thought to go away, i hate it so much. Then i saw the worlds end a few days ago and the thought returned with a vengeance after it going away for a few days, now every once in a while i think that in the movie like people were replaced or something. Its such a stupid idea, and no matter how I rationalize it it doesn't go away. I know this is not the best site since I think(pray to God) its only something to do with the detox from marijuana but if you have any idea or a clear opinion please let me know. Im afraid I'm slowly going mental and this is how it starts, does anyone know if this is true? no one in my family has a history of schizophrenia or mental illness to the extent of psychosis, just highhhhh anxiety and neuroses I suppose. I hope someone who has some sort of idea can help out. Thanks everyone

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do you have a psychiatrist?

 

i thnk you should talk to one.

 

i don't jnow what you're devloping or not developing and nobody here is qualified to diagnose you. but i've had a couple of those thougths. but then, so have a lot of people and not everyone is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.  i think that the fact you retain insight...that's a positive.  i also think for me diagnosis was not about the thoughts i was having...without any pot smoking at all...but the voices i heard and the actions i took as a result and the complete LACK of insight to question any of it and how it consumed my lfe for so long without my even really noticing it, if that makes sense...which i kinda hope it doesn't or it does in a way like you can have some empathy but not SYMpathy because i woulnd't wish that shit on anyone.

 

that's ME though.  not everyone with my same diagnosis or everyone with psychotic features of something. you said your psychologist isn't sure...get another opinion...talk to a psychiatrist...and seriously...don't try to sleuth it out yourself because you'll just be fearful you have fifty things instead of talking to a professional who can identify what, if anything beyond pot withdrawal, you do have...and how to best address it.

 

good luck to you.

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no i dont have a psychiatrist, but maybe i should go talk to one. they usually fade away after a couple of days, but this one has stayed longer since i saw a movie about human robots, im an idiot. Yeah i can definitely only be empathic, i havent really experienced any voices telling me what to do or seen any visuals. I just hear my thoughts and random stories when im dozing off, but i think that might be due to the high anxiety ive been having and im just on high alert, even then i know its in my head always. I'm sorry that you have had to go through that man, i'm glad youre feeling better however. Yeah this lack of answers is killing me. I just wish i knew if its normal to retain insight or if it slowly goes away or what the eff is going on in my head. Thanks for replying

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you said your psychologist isn't sure...get another opinion...talk to a psychiatrist...and seriously...don't try to sleuth it out yourself because you'll just be fearful you have fifty things instead of talking to a professional who can identify what, if anything beyond pot withdrawal, you do have...and how to best address it.

 

good luck to you.

 

Mell makes a lot of sense.

 

It sounds like you have more than pot withdrawal going on, but no one on the Internet can say what it is, how long it will last, whether it will get better or worse, or how to make it go away.

 

It's good that you have insight. Use it to ask your psychologist for a referral to someone who might have a better idea of what's going on and how to treat it. That's the best way to care for yourself. Doing nothing isn't apt to get you ahead. In fact, it might be compounding your problem. There's little worse than feeling powerless.

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[Wooster edited to add: This was originally double posted by OP in anxiety forum as well as here. The threads have been merged.]

 

What leads you to believe you have schizophrenia? I am not schizophrenic, but I see nothing in your list of symptoms that points to it in particular. And just because you have been told *by your family* that there is no history of MI in your family doesn't mean that is true.

 

Intrusive thoughts are by no means exclusive to Schz. I'm BP 1, with GAD, and I get intrusive thought a few times a year.

 

I can't say that MJ caused or didn't cause your current state. It could have been masking your illness. MI people often "self medicate" with either alcohol or illicit drugs. I'm not saying it happened one way or the other in your case, just that it isn't black and white.

 

3 mos is plenty of time to detox from MJ. Anything is possible, but i suspect that your current state has different origins.

 

We have not ability to give you a diagnosis. I encourage you to see a psychiatrist to tease these things apart.

 

What does "Going mental" mean? I would have phrased that more carefully.

 

Once again, you need to call a pdoc (psychiatrist). And don't panic, you sound panicky. Freaking out isn't going to help.

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Well this last intrusive thought that wont go away. I know that i don't believe it and that its irrational and total madness but its such an intense thought that it feels real, even thought i know its not. I wish i could articulate myself better about this but I've never had this in my entire life. I've always been a little ocd, but I only started self medicating after a break up, i had never experienced all these ridiculous thoughts until then. The reason i think its schizophrenia or some type of mental illness is because I'm concerned this is how it starts and I'm slowly going to lose my insight or something, in other words going mental. I have no idea how schizophrenia works you know? 

I don't see why they would lie about that, but I suppose anything is possible. Most of my relatives are still alive and they seem pretty okay however. I know its not, but having to deal with three months of this is hard to take, and my psychologist right now has no idea of what it could be. I don't want to go to a psychiatrist who might be in the same boat and he/she will just prescribe me with something due to lack of knowledge into my situation. I have heard of situations where people take several months to recover from these kinds of things from marijuana, but its this last thought that worries me. Thanks for replying Inmate

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apparently people get better from this after a while of detox, but idk that last thought has been scaring me, i just want it to go away. I have a psychologist but she doesn't seem to know either. I think its high anxiety and ocd from coupled with maybe PAWS from marijuana detox, cause thats when this all started.  Thanks for replying guys

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Are you here for support in rationalizing away your symptoms? Marijuana may have triggered something underlying, but withdrawal does not sound a reasonable explanation for intrusive thoughts three months later. Sorry.

 

The intrusive thoughts may be OCD, anxiety based or something else. If they are enough for you to post on a crazy people board, they probably are outside of "normal." Clearly, they are scaring you, which is your body's way of telling you to do something to change the situation.

 

Posting on the Internet is like doing nothing but being busy thinking you are gaining insight but really, there is little credibility on the Internet and the machine you are typing into can't make anything you are experiencing change. However, you can find people who will tell you whatever you want to hear.

 

Your psychologist seems ill equipped to deal with your situation. Most psychologists focus on marriage counseling and ordinary life problems. Dealing with actual mental illness often is outside their area of expertise. Get another opinion from someone who specializes in OCD or psychosis. Either should be able to spot the other symptoms. You find one by calling around and asking if they specialize in OCD or psychosis or asking your insurance for a referral. PhD psychologists can't write prescriptions in most states, so meds aren't apt to be their answer if that helps with your fears on that issue. PhD psychologists have more training in mental illnesses than most master degree talk docs. (That's a generalization. Some MA's are very well trained.) Actually, most psychiatrist that are any good won't jump to meds unless they see a necessity. Also, most will spend an hour or two listening to you explain your situation, so concluding that they won't understand your situation is a preconceived idea based more in fear than reality. If being heard is not your experience, move on to the next doc.

 

At any rate, do something constructive by seeing a professional instead of posting on the Intranet for answers. Here you can find support for your experiences but no answers, no solutions.

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Im only here to know if there are people who have experiences like it. Yeah I have not been feeling to well and i keep thinking this how how schizophrenia starts thats why i'm here, spot on. I guess I do need to talk to a good psychologist who knows about this stuff. and yeah this thought is terrible and i hate it so much, i just wish it would go away. I used o be a bit ocd before smoking so much so maybe it did trigger my anxieties and my ocd. I need to talk to someone who understands better, you're definitely right. Thanks

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I agree with talking to a psychiatrist.  IMO you should get a hold of it before it gets really out of hand.  I wish I'd done that years ago; I didn't get help at first, and it became more engrained in me the longer I waited.

So this is what happened to you?

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I agree with talking to a psychiatrist.  IMO you should get a hold of it before it gets really out of hand.  I wish I'd done that years ago; I didn't get help at first, and it became more engrained in me the longer I waited.

So this is what happened to you?

 

 

I didn't smoke the marijuana, but did have the voices/thoughts/delusions/hallucinations for a long time before I admitted it.  It was so engrained in me by then that even though the medication helps now, I think had it been caught earlier things wouldnt have gotten out of hand as much.

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I agree with talking to a psychiatrist.  IMO you should get a hold of it before it gets really out of hand.  I wish I'd done that years ago; I didn't get help at first, and it became more engrained in me the longer I waited.

So this is what happened to you?

 

 

I didn't smoke the marijuana, but did have the voices/thoughts/delusions/hallucinations for a long time before I admitted it.  It was so engrained in me by then that even though the medication helps now, I think had it been caught earlier things wouldnt have gotten out of hand as much.

 

I would have no problem admitting it if I heard voices or hallucinations, thats what keeps me hopeful. And I don't know if it's considered a delusion because I have retained insight this whole time, no matter how irrational my thinking, and my psychologists agrees with me on that. Hell, I wouldn't be on this site talking to other people if i didn't know my thoughts are irrational and weird and everything in there. I just want the thought to go away. I'm just curious because you wont find this anywhere except with someone with experience, when you first had the thoughts did you believe them immediately or was it gradual?

 

In general, it is thought that the earlier a mental illness is diagnosed and treated, the better the outcome.

 

ETA: Treatment does not always mean medicine. OCD and anxiety, for example, can respond well to talk therapy.

I agree, I'm okay with ocd and anxiety, im just scared these are initial stages of a more heavy mental illness... :/

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I'm just curious because you wont find this anywhere except with someone with experience, when you first had the thoughts did you believe them immediately or was it gradual?

 

At first I was skeptical, but it didn't last long until I totally believed everything.  It was like living in another world/having a 2nd life.

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I'm just curious because you wont find this anywhere except with someone with experience, when you first had the thoughts did you believe them immediately or was it gradual?

 

At first I was skeptical, but it didn't last long until I totally believed everything.  It was like living in another world/having a 2nd life.

 

Sorry to ask all these questions but how long? and what do you mean skeptical exactly? I just want to go to my old self, when i didnt have all of these thoughts, i wanna be the way i used to be. I've been dealing with these kinds of things for a few months now and i dont believe them, they are terrible though...

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I'm just curious because you wont find this anywhere except with someone with experience, when you first had the thoughts did you believe them immediately or was it gradual?

 

At first I was skeptical, but it didn't last long until I totally believed everything.  It was like living in another world/having a 2nd life.

 

Sorry to ask all these questions but how long? and what do you mean skeptical exactly? I just want to go to my old self, when i didnt have all of these thoughts, i wanna be the way i used to be. I've been dealing with these kinds of things for a few months now and i dont believe them, they are terrible though...

 

 

By skeptical, I mean I wasn't sure whether to believe the voices etc or not.  The skeptical part only lasted maybe a couple weeks at the most before I started believing them.  Then by that point, when I started believing everything, all the information from those couple of weeks all of a sudden came to me as another "life"  (or whatever).  For example, once I started believing the voices, those past couple weeks were already engrained in my head, so I was immediately in my own world.  It wasn't like one day I didn't believe them, and the next day I did.  It kind of all ran together. 

 

So had I gotten help those first couple of weeks, things would have probably gotten under control better, and would have minimized all the hallucinations/delusions/voices/etc.

 

Does this make sense?  (sorry, sometimes I have a hard time describing things).  I don't mind you asking questions :)

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