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After psychosis are you able to be convinced your thoughts weren't real?


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I had some "delusions" where I thought I had been programmed and that people were sending me messages through the media.  I was being followed and filmed.  I thought people were being paid for product placement when they were with me.  It's more complex but those are some of the things.  It's been years since I've received any messages and I now know that those thoughts don't fit with consensus reality.  I can put the thoughts aside and go about my day.  But, a part of me still believes that I know the truth and it's everyone else that is wrong.

 

Were you able to let go of past delusions and accept that they weren't real?  how long did it take?

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Not yet I've not been. Even during periods of non psychosis my entire life of habit and response to the world is based on delusional thinking. It's absolutely my default. Thought should admit I'm only twenty three days out of last hospital time. But it's been two decades of reinforcing them. I'm doing CBT to try to build new habits to supplant them but my care team has defo acknowledged that's going to take many years if ever. Sorry bit less yay of a reply than I'd like to be able to give you.

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The logical part of my brain knows that the thoughts I used to have were not real. There is no way they could be real. The trouble is, somewhere in the back of my brain there is this little tiny piece of it that I can't let go of. It doesn't keep me from moving on and doing my best to let it go but I don't know that I'll ever be able to get rid of that tiny piece of my brain that says it was real.

 

I still remember some of the ones I had almost 40 years ago. I know it wasn't real. Sometimes though when I get thinking that way again, I try to convince myself that it wasn't true 40 years ago and it isn't true now. Not sure how much it helps but that's the only way I've found to try and turn those thoughts to my advantage.

 

Hope this makes sense. It's sometimes hard to talk about stuff like this but since you seem to have some of the same issues, maybe you'll understand what I'm talking about. 

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Were you able to let go of past delusions and accept that they weren't real?  how long did it take?

 

I still think about them, but have been for the most part able to get past them and know they weren't real.  It took a long time for that to happen though.  Getting past them was only when I was medicated for a couple years on a stable cocktail, minimal stress (stress would make them worse).  I finally let them go (with little memory of them) about maybe a year ago.  It hasn't been long that I have felt "free" of them.  They all started in late 2002.

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Hi.

 

Once I received the proper treatment for all my issues ( medication ,ECT, getting to a healthy weight) all my psychotic symptoms stopped completely and immediately. The persistant auditory hallucinations went away, so did the paranoia, and so did the delusions. I returned to the state that I'd been before the psychosis started. I still have a little body image distortion, but most women don't see themselves accurately.

 

I have a hard time understanding today how I actually believed such delusions, and why I was so paranoid. Why couldn't I rationalize my way out of it? Why couldn't I understand that the voices I heard were just in my head? Why was I so frightened and suspicious of everyone and everything? Sometimes I couldn't tell if the voices I was hearing were in my head or if I was actually overhearing another person speak them out loud. Things became very confusing. And I still don't know today whether some of the things I heard were people talking or just in my head ( this was when the voices were of people I knew and when they were in close proximity).

 

It's such a relief not to be paranoid or delusional anymore. I know my beliefs back when I was psychotic were false. I can't really explain to someone else how I managed to get so upset by them or why I believed them at the time. I think the only way you can understand is if you've been through psychosis yourself. Maybe with time you'll be able to accept that your delusions weren't real.

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Thanks.  Sylvan you make perfect sense.  melissa what you say makes a lot of sense, too, about the faster it's treated the faster the thoughts go away.  I felt like I was the only one who had these lingering thoughts but it sounds like it's more common than I believed.

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I have a tiny part in my brain that still holds onto the thought that I am right and everyone else is wrong. Like you, I can put it aside and go on with my day. But, that little questioning piece is always there. 

 

IMO, delusions are VERY powerful. You literally believe them with all your being. It makes sense that they would linger in your mind. It's kind of like trying to let go of a religion you were raised in. Some things are just going to be ingrained into you, when you have such a powerful and formative experience. 

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My manic psychosis I had so many delusions rapidly happen but I thought my eye's where camera's. an I was taking pictures with my eyes cause I live in a meth house. After seven months of fighting and them getting me out of jail they put me on abilify and when my ex broke up with me. That shocked me back to reality. And I really didn't know what happened. I thought someone had cast a spell on me to get with my ex....O know no I had B and see clearly the signs now.

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For me they ebb and flow. Like others they do not dominate my life currently and I'm able to put those thoughts on the back burner. But part of me can't let go of it completely. And I never can get rid of the paranoia. Not sure if that is considered a delusion but I constantly struggle with the idea that everyone is out to slight me, insult me, harm me physically, harm me mentally, steal from me, basically any negative thing to me. I get worked up a lot about this. Meds have made this a bit better but it still lingers and I don't know if that will ever go away.

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I have completely let go of all delusions.  I had drug induced psychosis and took antipsychotic meds for 3 months.  My mind has returned to normal and I find everything I was thinking incredibly rediculous.  Hard to believe I ever got to that point but I'm glad I'm not having delusions anymore.  I'm still dealing with a lot of symptoms from the Invega shot I took but thats another subject.  

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I still can't shake a few delusions that i had.  How it all happened made it feel so real and true that i just can't let them go.  I joke about them saying "there are invisible raptors with telepathy out to get me".  It's hard to shake sometimes when so much proof is given even if it's false proof.  Deep inside my mind i still feel that people are orchestrating my every move in life and it's just amusement to them to watch.  That they want me to live a harder life then it already is.

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I have a few delusions that I still have always had a hard time getting over.  The cameras in my apartment watching me, certain people being able to read my mind (but who can't prove it without admitting they can read minds, so nothing I do/say will be known unless I choose to do/say it.

 

People following me ... although this was totally real at one point.  I had a stalker and he was everywhere I was, following me when I went walking, always driving by me, etc.  I think  that has ended unless he's gotten a different car.  Always being parked in a certain spot in the early mornings when I go for a walk.  He was just everywhere.  Fortunately I have his license plate number.  That is how I know it is him when he drives by; same license plate every fucking time.

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After nearly two years of clozapine treatment I can say that I no longer hear voices. I still get intrusive thoughts, including homicidal and suicidal thoughts.  But its been a big improvement.  I still have anxiety/panic issues but my p-doc helps me with valium for that.

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