Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Feelings towards others dulled


Recommended Posts

I'm going through some bad depression right now. I've had times in the past where I've felt sad, but nothing like this. About 2 months ago I fell apart and slipped into a major depression. I couldn't function, I had to take disability from work while I went to a partial hospital outpatient program.

 

I'm doing better than I was, but I don't feel like myself. Particularly troubling is my dull or numb feelings, particularly of love. I've been married to my wife for 6 years, and we dated for 6 years before that. We are crazy about each other, she is my rock. But lately I've found myself not feeling the same towards her. It really bothers me, because she is the love of my life and I should be feeling different.

 

Can depression do this? I feel like I'm just going through the motions when I say "I love you". But if I truly didn't love her, it wouldn't bother me, right? I don't know what to think! It's very upsetting.

 

It's not just her, either. I don't feel the same towards my family or friends either. I feel like I'm very self-centered right now. This is not the person I've been for 32 years. Will I ever get back to normal?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First, it isn't that you don't love your wife, it is that your brain is giving you all sorts of messages that aren't true. We usually say "Your depression is lying to you." The fact that you are so anxious about your relationship belies your belief that you don't love your wife.

 

Secondly, cognitive dulling can *definitely* be a symptom of depression.

 

And this is my opinion, but being depressed makes you very self-centered. All you can think of is how awful you feel, and how you want it to end. Socializing, even with family (sometimes *especially* with family), seems overwhelming and exhausting. You barely have the energy to function daily, let alone interact with people. Isolating is a very common symptom of depression.

 

If you can bring yourself to do it, going out for a cup of coffee with a friend, having lunch with your wife, etc. might help. I suck at that personally, but that is what I am always told. Exercise might help. If you are not up to exercise, taking a 20 minute walk when it is sunny might help. Getting out and getting some sunlight is important.

 

Also, it probably wouldn't hurt to see a therapist about your confused feelings about your wife. I genuinely think it is because you are depressed, but you seem very distressed about it. I wonder if your wife is usually your sounding board, so you feel like there is no one to talk to you about your concerns.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think crtclms made some good points, and I also think that your medications aren't working.  We all have to eat good food and get enough rest and all that, but your antidepressant should lift you out of the Black Pit enough to do all of those other things.  Maybe you should talk to your psychiatrist about a different AD.

 

I'm sure you do love your wife.  Depression lies to all of us and tells us we're worthless and life is hopeless.  Treat your depression more effectively and I bet your feelings for your wife will be as strong as ever.

 

olga

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think crtclms made some good points, and I also think that your medications aren't working.  We all have to eat good food and get enough rest and all that, but your antidepressant should lift you out of the Black Pit enough to do all of those other things.  Maybe you should talk to your psychiatrist about a different AD.

 

I'm sure you do love your wife.  Depression lies to all of us and tells us we're worthless and life is hopeless.  Treat your depression more effectively and I bet your feelings for your wife will be as strong as ever.

 

olga

 

I've been on Prozac for about 8 weeks, and my dose got increased last week, so I'm hoping that will help. I think it is working, because I am a lot better than I was when I first started. I couldn't go more than a few hours without breaking down and crying hysterically, I barely ate, I barely did anything at all. These past two months have been the most difficult of my whole life - I've never gotten depression like this before.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, I hope the increased dose will do the trick.  I just hate to see people struggling so hard for so long.  If you don't see improvement in the next 4-6 weeks, I think you need to revisit this with your pdoc.  Good luck and try to hang on.  I know how sucky it is when you're waiting for the meds to kick in and do something to help.

 

olga

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...