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How do you respond to when people call you crazy?


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It really pisses me off. I have very intelligent, I attended a top university, and I happen to have a mood disorder...people say it with the intention to hurt me mostly family members and exes. Especially when they do so without a good reason to, just to make me feel like my opinion no longer holds any value because of a diagnosis. :cussing: How do you deal with toxic people who use your diagnosis as a way to belittle you? My current partner would never do this, but I think if I ever were to end it, it would eventually be used as leverage to make me feel like I'm the one whose crazy. 

Edited by gallimaufry
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I couldn't care less when people call me crazy. It almost seems mainstream to be called crazy now. People can call me fat, ugly, bitch, etc. It really wouldn't phase me, unless it was my mother or father only. But they don't do that. 

 

However, when people think that all mentally ill people are killers. That really pisses me off and bothers me. That crosses the line. Many people think that psychosis or bipolar automatically means that that person is dangerous. These misconceptions are highly bothersome. Being called crazy is rather mild compared to what thoughts people have about mental disorders and people with them. 

 

However, I understand that it bothers you. What may not bother me, might be highly bothersome to you, so, I do take that into consideration. When people call you crazy, you should be assertive, in a gentle way and tell them that being called crazy offends you. The best thing is to be upfront and honest. 

 

If your exes are saying that to you, perhaps it is time to cut them off. Try to surround yourself with positive people, not negative ones like your exes. Also, remember that you have more knowledge about mood disorders than most people have. Many people are so ignorant when it comes to educating themselves.  

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I don't care if you call me crazy, as long as you don't call me late for dinner.

 

You're posting on Crazyboards. Don't you think that the name itself is a hint that one should embrace teh crazy, or at least take ownership of the terminology?

 

When people try to belittle me, for any reason, I tell them to fuck off, and no longer take them seriously; or if I'm in the mood, I rip them a new asshole, and no longer take them seriously..

 

No one can make you feel inferior without your tacit consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt.

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No one has come out and said I was crazy, but I know for sure that my opinions and suggestions of things aren't looked at as much as being useful. 

 

I'm also doubted a lot about things I say, and find others (ie kids) have to be the ones who "back" me in what I say.  For example, I had a tick on me and I found it when with my niece, and I flushed it down the toilet.  I told this certain person about it to let them know to watch out for them, and that person didn't belive me because they didn't see the tick.  They thought I was exaggerating.  I then said, "Ask (my niece), she saw it," and she nodded her head yes (she was 4 at the time), and then this person believed me.

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I've never actually had anyone call me crazy other than joking around.

 

I think the problem is the people you're dealing with rather than being called crazy.  It sounds as though they aren't respecting you and are using the crazy label as a way to denigrate you.  You can either try asking them to stop or tell them to sod off.  I'd be inclined to tell them to sod off.  You deserve better treatment than that.

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To be honest... people don't call me crazy. They don't call me crazy because I do it first. The first time I use that word with a new person (or any of the "crazy" words) they immediately show a shock reaction because they're expecting me to view it as an insult. Instead, I use the word in everyday life, I apply it to myself both in a joking manner at times, and in a serious manner in others. I own that word - that word can only and will only ever be an insult if I allow it to be, and I choose to own it instead of be devalued by it. And because of that, these people drop that word on their list of insults to use against me: they recognize that it has the opposite effect on my emotions or actions to what they desire, it's not going to get them the result they're looking for. When people have asked me why I would use that word, or outright told me that I shouldn't use that word, I've asked them why. Why should I not be allowed to define for myself whether that word is good or bad, funny or not, capable of harming me or empowering me? I have a mental illness, this word is often attached to my mental illness by society, and I'm not going to sit by and let society determine whether or not that word is a usable insult - I'm going to tell them that it's not.

 

That's not to say that's what you should do, what's worked for me in this regard isn't going to work for everyone (or even most)... but ask yourself - what's so special about this one word, what's so bad about this one itty bitty five-letter string that we must consider it an insult, a slur? Who decided it was allowed to insult you, or her, or me? While we may not be able to decide if others use that word, while we can't change the history of the word, scrub away all the negatives that came with that word in the past, we can certainly choose whether or not we allow that one little word to negatively affect us now.

 

Instead, focus on the fact that your family is attempting to use what they consider a weakness against you as a way of stripping you of your right to have emotions and opinions, not the word they're using to do it because if crazy didn't exist in our vocabulary they'd simply use another demeaning insult in its place. If they're not willing to see you as an equal person, if they refuse to value your emotions and opinions as they would any other family member (or friend, or ex, whatever group or relationship it may be), they're not worth keeping around. The word they use to do it doesn't matter, chances are they were going to find a word to hurt and/or devalue you anyway and your mood disorder simply provided them easy pickings.

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I had a manager, (I'll call him K), refer to me as being crazy behind my back (to another manager, A, that I was friends with). The context was especially bothersome...i had just found out that my father was ill and the K told A "Watch out, JT is going to be even crazier that usual b/c she found out that her Dad has cancer." It hurt for many reasons, as you can well imagine. But it especially hurt b/c K and I had been close in the past (friends) and he knew about my MI.

He had always acted understanding about my struggles with my MI and didn't give me the impression that he thought that it was necessarily a totally negative thing or weakness. Part of me wishes that A hadn't told me what K said. But then I am glad b/c it solidified my decision to cut him out of my life-which happened for many reasons before this incident.

That being said, for me it depends upon the person and situation. I joke around about being crazy and love that this site is called CrazyBoards. My other MI friends and I also refer to ourselves as crazy, in a playful way. So, I agree that the problem could lie more with the ppl that you are dealing with. But I don't know you...so it's just a thought.

I also agree with telling ppl that bother you by saying it that you find it offensive to be called crazy.

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being called crazy? hell, i'd agree with them. stupid? who are you calling stupid, stupid? :)

 

 

This is my philosophy on the subject. I also like what crtclms said.

 

If they are ignorant and use the word "crazy" to dismiss or insult me, I then know just how ignorant they are. Would they call someone "diabetic" to dismiss or insult them? Maybe that is a good come-back for you to use. I want to try this out myself.

 

And I agree with eldorado, that the people you surround yourself with are the issue that is probably truly bothering you.

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I couldn't give a rat's ass what most people say about me anymore, honestly. Worrying about that wasted my time. I'm happier now. I also DO refer to myself as "crazy" "batshit insane" all kinds of things and not to bring myself down, this is me joking and making light of my situation. It probably does also prevent people from trying to use those words to hurt me, I can see that as well.

 

And the people who would use those words to hurt me, they can fuck off. Doesn't bother me. It can be annoying, sure. Ignorance is annoying as fuck, but it's not going to change how I view myself. I'm fairly confident in me, lately. CRAZY is part of me. Maybe small part sometimes, maybe the ONLY part others, but still. So. . .eh. 

 

Thing is, I know myself. I know my intentions, I know what was my CRAZY and what wasn't. And while it CAN be infuriating to me that other people might blame normal shit ON the crazy, that's just what they think.

 

"What other people think of me is none of my business." and I don't care about it either, as long as I'm not hurting anyone. I'm the one who used to let them hurt me. That's not happening anymore.

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I try to take use of the word "crazy" in stride as most of the time it's meant harmlessly. I shouldn't care, but I do hate it when people talk about it behind my back though. I had a friend (who was actually training to be a therapist) make fun behind my back of my bipolar and my SI...needless to say we don't speak anymore. I hate when people try and make me feel stupid because of it. If there's anything I hate, it's being made to feel stupid.

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I don't like to be dismissed whatever the reasoning.  Do you have a lot of contact with these people.  It's hard to avoid family, but do you have to listen to your ex's?  My parents are different, they think I should be over it by now and be doing more. It still drains me to deal with them so I limit the time I'm with them.  Is there any reason you think your present partner would be like that? Just your past experiences with different people?

 

The longer I've been stable the more people seem to listen to me.  Maybe they will change with time?

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We had this page in my high school year book that gave nicknames to seniors called "class hacks." They were supposed to be telling little nicknames about how a person was viewed by the rest of the school. Usually things like "Class Sunshine Daydream" for a Dead Head, or "Class Referee," for someone who got along with all the cliques.

 

But my year, there was a "Class Sadist" (he really was a horrible sadist). Another was "Class Dramatic," which was clever, because she thought it meant everyone thought she was a good actress. My hack was "Class Tantrum," and another student who was seriously depressed, and basically was home-schooled via the school (she boarded) was "Class? What Class?"(She screwed around a lot compared to the rest of us, so it was a doubly nasty dig). There were other mean ones, they involve too much "inside" slang for me to get into, but they were definitely mean. As a result of our year's hacks, the faculty decided they wouldn't allow them anymore.

 

But yeah. Class Tantrum. I knew what they meant, I just didn't know why I was (am) like that. So it wasn't behind my back, but it made me more careful around certain people. But now, I am actually the opposite, I let my freak flag fly.

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I usually laugh and say "yeah, I'm certifiably so" but that's when someone calls me crazy in jest or without thinking what it really means. If someone called me crazy out of spite, I'd probably get a little upset, but I wouldn't let it get me down. 

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