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Hi there - not so newbie but first post : )


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Not really sure where to begin so will let my fingers do the talking. I have had depression and anxiety problems for a number of years, but this year has been the worst so far. I've been lurking about for a few months and reading posts and thought it was about time I got involved as I feel I have nobody to talk to. I have major mood swings that are having a big impact on my life and about a month ago, I started hearing a voice. It's only happened a few times but someone is calling my name and no matter where I look, I can't see anyone. It's not as if it's in my head, I can hear it, it's always been a female voice and it's really staring to freak me out and I'm terrified to tell my doctor. I was thinking it was due to lack of sleep but have always had insomnia issues but haven't  heard anything before. I have been diagnosed with thyroid disease but am on medication to control it so not sure what's going on. I try not to self medicate but sometimes it's all I can do to try and numb everything out and to pass out. The only medication I am on is thyroid meds and lexapro 10mg. I have seen a Pdoc before for my depressive episodes as I was put in inpatient early this year but am hesitant to tell the full extent of how I feel and don't even want to tell my friends and family as it seems everyone is so happy and getting on with their life and it feels like I'm on a roller coaster. Anywho, sorry if I rambled, as I said I have been lurking about for a while and even typing this out has made me feel better as I know I am not alone

Edited by AroundtheWorld82
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Welcome to Crazyboards.  As you probably know, I ask all new members to read the rules so you understand how we operate.

 

I think you wouldn't be hanging out here if you didn't realize that you are Mentally Interesting.  So now, instead of admitting it just to yourself, you need to talk about it with a doctor.  You can't possibly be treated effectively unless you are honest with a psychiatrist about all of your symptoms.  You already know that self-medicating isn't a great idea, and in the long run, alcohol and drugs will just make a mess of your life.

 

When you look around, you see people who are happy and getting on with their lives.  Maybe.  Behind that facade could be plenty of anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, bulimia, and lots of other illnesses.  If you had diabetes, would you let it go untreated because everyone in your family is "happy?"  You are treating your thyroid disorder, and now you need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist and go in there with a list of your symptoms.  10mg of Lexapro is a start, but it is not a complete treatment plan.

 

It might be that you would benefit from therapy----the pdoc could advise you on that.  Please go see a doctor.  It could make such an enormous difference in your life.  And when you go see him/her, tell the whole truth.  :)  No fair leaving stuff out.  Lying by omission doesn't help anyone.

 

I'm glad you're here.  I hope you enjoy being a part of this group.

 

olga

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Welcome to the forums!

 

Please do go to the doctor, tell your doctor everything you can. I was afraid to as well, kinda embarrassed even at first. The worse it got though, it was just like I needed to do something and these people have heard it all and worse before. Their job isn't to judge you or anything. 

 

All that happened with my family and friends (the ones that found out) was that I found out who really gave a shit about me, is all. In my book, that's a good thing to know. 

 

Not saying there's NOTHING to worry about, it's not an easy process every time, but it's best to get started ASAP so you can improve your quality of life. You'll probably end up wishing you'd done it sooner.

 

You obviously know you shouldn't self-medicate. I know I shouldn't every time I do it as well. Maybe that would improve if you were on the right meds? I wouldn't be afraid of what would happen if you told them. I'd be afraid of what would happen if you DIDN'T.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi again and thanks for the welcome! I have looked over the user agreement previously but will go over it again - don't feel like being clamped! :- ) I Haven't been on here for a little while, but have started the ball rolling with therapy and searching around for a pdoc as the only ones I saw were in hospital. I did take myself to the ed about a week ago as i was shaking, very anxious/depressed and was having panic attacks. They still say it's my thyroid and upped my medication but I think I need something new to help me sleep. At night when i finally fall asleep i have hours of night terrors, something was beside my bed last night and kept attacking the sides of my bed and other things moving around my room and something flew into the curtains. I can hardly move through all of this and even though I keep tellimg myself it's not real, I get petrified. Or it will feel like someones hand is under the covers and pulling at my legs and I try to get out of bed but can't. I know I'm awake through all of this. I told all this to the mental health nurse in hosp but they are not considering anything else until my thyroid is until control. It's so frustrating, I havent slept properly in about three days so here's hoping tonight I will! Once again thanks for the kind welcome :- )

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