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I feel it from the pit of my stomach.

I'm in prison.barely sleep,eating a little.

the anxiety is just extreme.

sorry,I cant explain .its hard to think straight.


the problem is I used to be addicted to valium.

I told my pdoc this and told him to never give it to me even if I begged.

however,I feel that right now I want one.

I can't ask.

I will never go to the streets again.


just voicing my frustration.

if you are in position to take a benzo for anxiety ,be grateful.


being an addict was horrible.

need to remember that.

still,a walk in the park compared to MI.

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I know you think that you only want benzos. 

Have you considered other meds that can be used? I know that for example some people use seroquel PRN for anxiety, and in a pinch I've done that before and it worked pretty well.  I think you should ask to discuss other medication. I applaud you for not going to the streets to get meds, that is a very positive step, I'm also glad that you where honest with your pdoc.

Do you have a tdoc? Have you done any kind of meditation exercises? I know they sound lame and all but if you practise them so you can use them in a crisis they can be helpful. 

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I agree. I used Risperdal for anxiety. It is really helpful at stomping on my anxiety, although I personally don't like it after a couple of months. But it is what I get prescribed when I am just so anxious I feel sick, and like my head is about to explode. And I take benzos daily, so it is strong enough to boost the benzos without increasing the amount I take.


I've told my doctors never to prescribe me Fioricet. I've never been addicted, but an immediate family member has been, and even with just a standard dose, I enjoyed them waaaaay too much, almost to the point of hoping I got a headache.


All those doctors have said that they are impressed that I have that much insight into my weaknesses. I am positive your pdoc feels the same way about you, and will find *something* that gives you some relief.

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hey,thanks so much for the replies.

good suggestions.

I ended up with  a low dose thorazine after txt'ing with pdoc.

I have felt unstable lately so maybe that'll do the trick.

I asked about risperdone and seroquel and he was not opposed to either.


so yeah,the thorazine knocked me out and I have slept 9 hrs.


thanx everyone.

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I know, there are some things people get addicted to that make me think, "Are you fucking crazy? ICK!" Body chemistry. And I think it is not a coincidence that an immediate family member had problems with it, we must share the predisposition; I had a living lesson in front  of me though, so that helped.

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