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Angry At my Therapist


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Ok, So, A little while ago, I wrote about losing my Vyvanse. For those who don't know:

 

I lost almost a whole bottle of vyvanse. Now, I looked everywhere at my house. I looked in my car. Not there. So, I think that maybe since I was sleepy, maybe I took my whole bottle to my stupid day program. Now, I think that a person from the day program may have been sneaky and somehow stolen my vyvanse. Everyone there is a suspect. I want to punch everyone.  

 

Today, I got a call from my psychiatrist. I let my therapist call my psychiatrist to tell her about the vyvanse issue. That's the only thing i told my therapist that she could say to my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist said that my therapist sent her a letter complaining about my behavior lately. My therapist claims that I have been more irritable on the vyvanse. 

 

I told my DAMN therapist that the fucking vyvanse is not making me irritable. It makes me feel better. I feel better when I have motivation to get out of bed and shower. Day program is making me irritable. So, my therapist sent my psychiatrist a letter lying to her. 

 

I feel so irritable because my capacity for human contact is dwindling. I am so sick of my day program. I can't stand being around people. I like to be alone. Why you ask? Because I like my privacy. I like to daydream. I feel like I am being smothered by people. I like to be alone 95%of my time. I love privacy. That is why I am getting so irritable, not because of the vyvanse. 

 

One day, last week, my therapist was not there. So, a different therapist had me read an overview of what my therapist thinks. I told this other therapist to make a correction. It said that I got more irritable on the vyvanse. That is a damn lie. So, I wrote on the paper so that my therapist could correct that statement. Well, my therapist never corrected it and she sent the letter to my psychiatrist. 

 

My therapist is a lying son of a bitch. This is a conspiracy against me because I swear at my therapist. She makes me so mad. When I get verbally out of control, she boots me out of her office. :D She is mad at me and she is trying to make me pay for it. I hold grudges forever. She is messing with the wrong person. Now, tomorrow, I have to yell at her. She really thinks she is on her high horse. I will knock her off her high horse verbally really soon. 

 

I have to wait for a while. I have been off my Vyvanse for more than a wek. I have to wait until mid october to get a new vyvanse scrip. Guess what? I am just as irritable off my vyvanse as I was on it. 

 

How do you deal with bullshit therapists? How do you put them in their place? How do you knock an arrogant asshole off their high horse?

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Ugh! Sounds like a disaster. Losing meds sucks, especially when you can't get a new script. 

I wouldn't put that therapist in her place. I'd fire her ass. It sounds like she's broken the connection you had at one point, and that trust has to e re-built.

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How do you deal with bullshit therapists? How do you put them in their place? How do you knock an arrogant asshole off their high horse?

You yell and swear at your therapist??  You want to knock her off her high horse??  She is an arrogant asshole??

 

Aggressive, rude, immature behavior is not going to help you have a better life.  And it certainly is not the way to 

secure the assistance of your treatment professionals.

 

If you act like a rude teenager you will be treated like a rude teenager.  Any of us with some form of bipolar can lose control of our emotions.  It happens.  But you seem to take relish in your inappropriate behavior.  No wonder she kicks you out of her office.  She has to set some boundaries with you.

 

I fire clients who act in this manner.  I have seen many therapists and I have never needed to "put them in their place".  I do not cultivate an adversarial relationship with people whom I need for help with my bipolar.

 

I suggest you start with the Golden Rule and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Edited by bpladybug
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I agree with the above. Harshly confronting your therapist will not serve you in any positive way. Like it or not, you are working with a treatment TEAM. The various players need to share information. Yes, you may disagree with your therapist's impression that you are more irritable on the stimulant. But appropriate conflict resolution is needed. Not tantrums and knocking a professional off her high horse. That combination all but guarantees a bad outcome for you.

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I understand your anger; something similar happened to me.  But yelling, swearing, etc I don't think will get you anywhere.  When this happened to me I got kind of angry at my pdoc (didn't year or swear though), but eventually (fortunately) my neuro came to my defense and proved what I said was accurate, in a nice way.  All was good.

 

Like others have said, just fire your therapist and find one you get along with.

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It is true, as the others have said before me, that you shouldn't really be antagonistic with your therapist or your psychiatrist.  However, I do understand your anger and have some anger issues myself.  Still, maybe you could be misreading the situation as you are perhaps not "feeling yourself" and are very angry at the moment.  Anger can cloud our judgement and can do some very real damage to relationships. 

 

I feel for you as I think I can sort of relate to what you are saying and feeling but I would caution you not to say or do anything that could cause possible damage beyond repair.  You don't want to end up being the client that people don't want to deal with - I work in a patient services area in xray and believe me, we know about difficult patients at times (I can be difficult myself) and we don't take kindly to aggressive behaviour and can actually inadvertently (or purposely) make life difficult for those patients who want our help.  Whether we like it or not we can tend to treat people differently who are "difficult". 

 

I know as well as anyone we all have different life stories, struggles, issues, but sometimes we have to "play the game" in society to end up getting where we want to and what we want, that includes sometimes sucking up to people who you really actually just want to slap! I hate it, believe me, but sometimes you have to be a bit shrewd also.  It is in YOUR favour to try to get along, even if you are pissed off- let them know in a moderate, mature way, not by getting aggressive. 

 

I do wish you all the best and I can understand your anger and frustration.  Please don't harm yourself in the long term by upsetting others, you know the harm will be your's in the end.  Try to bite your tongue and moderate your behaviour a little - please.  Take care and be strong. 

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I SO totally feel for you in a situation like this, I really do.  I've been going through a nightmare with a therapist for the past few months and I really have WANTED to scream and her and curse at her, but I had to learn to sit on that frustration and try to release it in a safer manner where it wouldn't make the situation between us any more tense.  (I think a few people here can attest to the number of irate or panicky rants on my blog.)   I don't know if anything I ever did counted as putting her in her place, but there was a point where I did wind up having to bite my tongue a bit and tell her that I didn't feel like I was being heard at all. 

 

Yelling and screaming at your therapist would probably feel good, but if your therapist is that toxic to you, firing him/her will feel better in the end.  It's REALLY hard to be diplomatic about it when the lost meds and the bad relationship with the therapist are probably stressing you out more, but honestly, being able to take a step back and then just quietly fire them is the best way to deal with a bullshit therapist.  It doesn't put them in their place, but it does put them in a place, and that place is where they shouldn't be able to have the power to frustrate you, because you're not their patient anymore.

 

Try to be strong, try to find a safe yet satisfying way to vent that frustration, and find out how to ditch that toxic therapist and find one who you can actually work together with instead of feeling like they're working against you.  It's worth it in the end.

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Hi there. I apologize for the lack of response. Things have been busy lately. I appreciate all of your honesty. I know you are all trying to help me/be honest with me, but sometimes life gets crazy. 

 

As of right now, my therapist said that she is leaving the day program and that she found another job. I apologized for my shitty behavior towards her. I don't feel sorry, but I still apologized so that I can leave her on a good note. I wished her good luck at her next job and I said that I would buy her a box of chocolate that she can binge on and make the transition to the new job easier. I know that my mental disorders are no excuse for my behavior. Most schizoaffective people I know are rather passive anyways. My behavior is my choice. 

 

It's not so much the Vyvanse being lost that's the issue. It was my therapist lying that was the issue. I am not a drug addict. I can survive without my Vyvanse. It just helps me to not sleep all day and helps me to concentrate too. So far without it, I am hanging in there just fine. 

 

The reason I like being kicked out of her office is that it is less human interaction for me. You see, my mother makes me go to day program or else she will kick me out of the house. So, that's the only reason I go. I go 2 days each week. I have 6 groups and then a 1 on 1 session once a week. I can't be kicked out of my home. I can't live on my own. I only want my mom and dad. 

 

I can't stand the day program because I can't stand interaction. Every time I go, I have to run away from people. I don't like any of the counselors now. The only good counselor left. I have told the day program that I hate it there. People there are trying to be my friend and I constantly have to run away from them and hide. This is not due to anxiety. This is due to me feeling smothered and my need to be alone. If I could, I would be alone 95% of my life. 

 

I don't think I really scare my therapist. She still remains very calm, and I do not ever physically invade space. I stay seated even when I am verbally angry. My rule is that I don't ever touch anyone unless they touch me. I don't threaten to directly hit or punch people. I only daydream and fantasize about it. I just swear at them. I have had people say that my bark is bigger than my bite.  

 

I don't know how to get out of this day program. It is so frustrating. Again, I know that my behavior is my choice. I do take responsibility for that. I thought that the day program would kick me out and they have not done so. I am going to have a new counselor in october. Maybe I can try to work on not being so terrible. Or maybe I could see the counselor for a 1 on 1 once every three months. That might ease things a bit. 

 

Maybe you all could tell me how you deal with your anger? 

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I'm glad you accepted the feedback of this community, more so that you have apologized to your therapist and accept responsibility for your acts.  My concern is that your treatment is mandated by your parents to continue living with them and that your treatment is counterproductive.  My suggestion is that you have some hardcore negotiations with them about this issue.  It sounds as if you really do need treatment, but treatment that works for you.  You do have the right to self-determination.  But your parents also have the right to put you out if you are of age.  I wish I could guide you better in looking for a more appropriate/constructive treatment modality, but I am a disembodied voice on the Interwebz and have no personal connection to you. 

 

Does your agency have any kind of supported independent living program?  Such a program would permit you to live alone (with all the space and distance from others you demand) but with staff who can check on you anywhere from daily to weekly and provide the kinds of community living supports you need.

 

Congrats, again, for pulling up the big girl undies and showing some needed maturity.  Keep 'em on.  We're here to try to help.

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Thanks Vanderk. :) Yes, my treatment is mandated b my parents. I would prefer to stay with my parents. If I live on my own, I won't cook, clan, bathe, or do any of tha stuff. Maybe there is an independent living place. If I ever do go out on my own, I might have to look into that. I appreciate your input. 

 

For now, I will just mentally seperate myself from the place while I'm there if I can. 

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you may hate them but I think you need those groups

 

my jaw dropped when you suggested seeing a counselor once every three months

that is useless - might as well not go at all

 

if you don't learn to function then the years will go by

and someday your parents will pass and you might end up in a group 

 

I am assuming that anxiety is part of your dislike of association with others

maybe your pdoc could treat your anxiety

 

I encourage you to force yourself to talk or interact with others.....even if just for brief moments

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I understand that I have to learn to function. I decided at the age of 12 that I would end myself the day that my mother goes. She is my only reason for life. Any time I have lived away from home, it causes extreme depression.  

 

As for interacting with others, it doesn't really cause me too much anxiety. I just like to be alone. I daydream even when I am around people. My pdoc mentioned the possibility of schizoid personality disorder, along with my schizoaffective. My time alone is my 2nd most valued thing in the world. Being alone means that I have space and privacy. Being alone is freedom. I couldn't care less what people think of me. I even pushed my really close friends away. I maybe only see them twice each year. Even the times I am with them, I daydream almost the whole time.

 

For me, the only people that cause me anxiety are the government, and sometimes my father. But that doesn't make me anxious about talking to people.... 

 

For now, I will try to take it one day at a time. I do appreciate your input too. I apologize if I sound so stubborn. I have tried to increase socialization, but when I do, I get very angry and I want to do bad things to myself.    


Maybe I should try to live on my own again. My mind goes back and forth....trying to decide...

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I can relate to some of your difficulties. My emotional growth has been stunted due to being continously psychotic for almost two years, and it hasn't been until recently that I've been able to take steps towards independence. You don't sound like you're in a position to be moving out on your own. You have to be able to take care of your basic needs before you can live independently. Even though I can bathe, clean and cook for myself, I would have a difficult time living without any assistence at all. You sound like you would have an even harder time than I would.

 

The thought of losing my mother makes my heart clench and utterly terrifies me, but I know that I can survive without her. My confidence in my ability to take care of myself is slowly increasing. My therapist has played a big part in that happening. Please talk to your therapist about this if you haven't already. You need a plan in place that isn't a suicide plan in case anything happens to your mother.

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