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Hello... Um... I'm Danie, and I'm depressed

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It has been a bit of a roller coaster this September. Not like the roller coasters one would experience if they were BP, I am not, but, more like the roller coaster one might feel if they were desperately clinging to fine and often times not being able to. 


I was doing so well, depression wise, and suddenly there comes this bump in the road, and then another, and another. I thought that it was because I missed my meds at the start of the month, but it is still happening so that can't be it. Maybe it is because the days are getting shorter and darker, maybe it is stress.


I haven't tried the light box to test the daylight theory. It has mostly been sunny during the day and it seems like that should be enough for me. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. 


Whatever. I can't be bothered to care enough to flip a god damn switch.


We are in the process of selling our house. We have an offer, we are getting the house inspected this Weds. they want to close by Oct. 31. This is a good thing, even though it is such a BIG thing. We are going to move away from SL, UT and up to SEA, WA. We are looking for houses there, and we are looking to be able to pay off all my medical bills, credit accounts, and the truck. I'm going to miss my sister/s- family. We have friends there, but not as many as we have here. I don't know that's one stress.


One that is really making me mad is I feel OK, so I sign on to sub for a day, then another, and I freak out. It's too much, it's too much. I'm fine, I have to be able to work. We aren't talking 9-5 5x/week. We are talking a few 8-3's a week. Why am I being such a baby?


So tonight I am depressed, an I'm thinking of all the solutions that come when I'm depressed. OK, when I say all there is really only three, one requires I not get out of bed in the morning, one is bloody, and the final one involves helium. OK, we are just going to tip-toe quietly around that one.

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Damik, please look into a light box, and start taking some vitamin D3.  It doesn't matter that you are getting some sunshine every day---it is the length of the days that matters in the autumn.  Many, many people have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and you are not immune.  If depression is your norm, it stands to reason that it will be worse in the fall.


Now you add in the stress of leaving friends and family, selling your house, and moving to a new city.  Stress can definitely exacerbate depression, so it's not surprising that you are being affected by this.


Please talk to your therapist or your pdoc about a light box and Vitamin D3.  It sounds like you might benefit from them.



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What Damik said is true, but the light box has more to do with day length than anything else.


As the days get shorter in the Northern Hemisphere, chickens stop laying eggs, and plants stop growing, and some people go into a deep depression.  The light box replaces some of that missing day length, and tricks your mind and body into thinking that the days are 12 hours long instead of 9 or 10.


Some medical professionals suggest that you use the box early in the morning before the sun is up, mimicking the day length you would have in May or June.  There are even alarm clocks connected to lights that start out dim and gradually get brighter---waking you up with light rather than a noise.


Vitamin D is another facet of this.  If you live at the 40th parallel or north of it, you cannot get enough Vitamin D from the sun from November to March, because it is too low in the sky.  Lack of Vitamin D can sometimes exacerbate depression, especially in people who are already affected by the lack of day length.  It's a good idea for people who suffer from depression to get their Vitamin D levels checked.  Your doctor can advise you as to the amount of D you should take.



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