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Hypersexuality and Hypomania


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Despite all my medications, I'm having trouble with hypomania again. I'm feeling very alone and embarrassed, so I thought I'd turn here for some support.

 

A little back story: When I was 25, I had a hypomanic episode that lasted 4-5 months, during which I decided my husband and I should be swingers. Unfortunately, we visited a local sex club, where I surprised us both by acting extremely promiscuous. This period of time culminated in some sleepless nights triggering weeks of euphoria. Ultimately, this behavior went on until I finally caught an STD and crashed landed in anxiety-land.

 

Fast forward through three years of perfectly fine monogamy: About two weeks ago, out of nowhere, I told my husband, "You know, we should be swingers again." And he said, "I've been waiting for you to say that. You've been 'uppity' lately. Maybe you should talk to your therapist about this." Bummer. I didn't see that coming at all!

 

So, I talked to my brand new therapist about it. And my poor, brand new therapist freaked out and sent me to my psychiatrist, who prescribed lamotrigine. I think the lamotrigine is working, as the desire to sleep with other people is diminished.

 

I know I probably dodged a bullet and caught this episode before it escalated. But, I'm having a hard time with my feelings about what happened. I feel like I'm having a hard time separating out who I really am from my illness.

 

Am I the only person who has problems with hypersexuality and hypomania? It sure feels like it right now. Any words of advice and encouragement will be much appreciated.

Edited by fayaway
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You are definitely not the only one. My advice would be to try to watch your sex drive as an indicator for approaching mood swings. Apart from that, when it comes to accepting 'what you do when you are manic or hypo' and the consequences, all I can say is that I feel your pain and confusion. I have found that talking to an accepting therapist that you feel comfortable talking to can help to get some acceptance. Do you feel you can open up to your tdoc about your feelings? When it comes to 'who you really are', my personal way of thinking about it is that everyone has these things they'd like to do but don't because, well, we normally don't just run naked across the street because we feel like it. When (hypo)-manic, I feel that all control mechanisms in the brain are turned off, and we start doing whatever 'fun' things our brains comes up with, without considering the consequences. This should not be an excuse to do whatever we like, but it can be healing to consider that the illness makes it very hard to control and that in the future, one can learn from the highs and crashes.

 

That was my piece of philosophical rambling.

 

Just wanted to say, it sounds like your husband and you have a great and understanding marriage from what you wrote, and being accepted as you are is a great thing. 

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You're not alone. I've had a hypersexuality themed episode, too. It was years ago but I still feel dirty. I don't have much comforting to say, except... Remember that it was the illness, not the real you. Mania is a lot like being on drugs, I think.

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I get like that too, I haven't actually followed through on anything but when I get hypomanic I flirt and would probably have sex with any hot guy that was interested. It's scary how quickly things can go wrong.

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This EXACT thing happened to me in the spring. I was crazy horny, and pushed my husband into being a swinger. It nearly destroyed my marriage. I was euphoric and thought I was falling in love with other men and wasn't "cut out" for monogamy. My husband finally confronted me and said that swinging was breaking his heart. It's the worst thing I've ever done.

 

Like you, I am on lamictal now and the desire to be a swinger is completely gone and I'm left mostly with embarrassment and regret. I will stay on medication to prevent that from happening again. It's kind of humiliating to admit that something that felt so convincingly authentic to my desires/who I am was rooted completely in my mental illness. It's not a good feeling.

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  • 9 months later...

Bumping this thread.

 

I'm new to a bipolar diagnosis so I have not done much research on the topic.  But seems I have been experiencing hypersexuality.

 

I want to have sex with any man BUT my husband!

 

Now, our sex life is fine, I do have sex with him.  But I'd rather do it with some handsome stranger.

 

For a while I was pretty hypersexual....  persuing Craigslist looking for cute guys to chat with, late at night.  Not intending to do anything with them, but you know how that goes.  

 

I had a guy friend that I chatted with online for several years.  I suddenly fell in lust with him.  One night, while drunk, I asked him to have an affair with me.  (The next morning I took it all back--- we have broken off contact since then.)

 

I was pleasuring myself every day....shopping for toys and lingerie....

 

One day I decided to start taking pole dancing classes and become a stripper (never mind that I'm currently a tad bit overweight!)  I was on that kick for several days.

 

Then, I just got over it.

 

I'm learning about bipolar, as I said, but yeah, hypersexuality seems to be one of my symptoms.

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I'm a guy, and I'm not sure if I'm experiencing hypersexuality or what. I may have mixed symptoms - lots of anger, irritability, and depression, too. On the other hand, I also experience "enhanced vision" and am horny like all the time. Unfortunately I can't really approach girls, because when I see them - and people in general - I feel like they're "in my way," or something, and like I'm going to fight with them. Of course I don't act on it, but it's extremely uncomfortable and prevents me from forming relationships atm. 

 

However, I do feel much hornier than when I was stable. Like my mind is on extra high alert, or something, and my senses feel much more acute. Can this happen with depression as well, or is this generally more typical of hypomania/mania?

 

I also experiencing disturbing thoughts/emotions, like when I see guys, I almost feel like I'm gay, or I have to "stop" my thoughts so that they don't think I'm gay. I'm quite straight, however. Could this also be from depression, or more like hypomania?

Edited by dreamedm
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Hi larali! We really don't bump threads here; I know a lot of boards get upset if you don't look to see if there is already a relevant thread, but we don't. So next time, if you can't find something on the first page or so, you can post a new thread.

 

And a lot of the people on the original thread are no longer here, so there's that.

 

And hypersexuality is a bane. I am glad that isn't one of my symptoms.

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Hi larali! We really don't bump threads here; I know a lot of boards get upset if you don't look to see if there is already a relevant thread, but we don't. So next time, if you can't find something on the first page or so, you can post a new thread.

 

And a lot of the people on the original thread are no longer here, so there's that.

 

And hypersexuality is a bane. I am glad that isn't one of my symptoms.

 

Thanks for the heads up :)

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