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I think there aren't a whole lot of "bad" or "evil" people who come to Crazyboards.  Most people who end up here have found us by googling terms like depression or anxiety.  Everyone in this place has some level of mental illness.

 

Saying you are bad or evil is making a judgment, and we try really hard around here to not be judgmental.  If you feel that your life is out of control, or you are not doing well in making and keeping friends, or everything seems futile and hopeless---well, you might need to see a psychiatrist and a therapist on a regular basis.

 

If you don't like the term mental illness, you can tell yourself you are Mentally Interesting. :)  I like that better, anyway.  Don't beat yourself up--get some treatment and try the best you can to attain some level of stability.

 

olga

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You are not a bad evil person.  You saw a doc for a reason and they diagnosed you.  Yeah, they could be wrong and you could get a second opinion if that's an option, but I don't think it's necessary.  I think it's the depression telling you that you are bad, evil, neurotic when really you have depression. (you don't sound delusional-lots of people doubt their dx.)

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I do know that you have had many struggles over the years that I've seen you at CB.

 

I don't think that people who don't fight with their brains over what their brains say struggle as much as you have been struggling. It does get easier, I think, once you can find a way to treat what your brain is telling you. Some people use meds, and some people don't. Although many people find that meds are very beneficial in getting their brains to quieten on down about being evil and bitchy and neurotic. I don't think that most people's brains tell them that, generally speaking.

 

How's that?

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I think an "evil" person would not even be concerned about their behavior.  They would not seek treatment.  They would not have friendly, supportive conversations with people in chat.  They would not exhibit courage in fighting their symptoms day after day, year after year. 

 

However, you do seek help.  You do fight.  You do support others.  Thus, I think it is safe to say that you are not bad or evil, that you are a real person struggling with a very real illness. 

 

I hope that makes sense.

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I think an "evil" person would not even be concerned about their behavior.  They would not seek treatment.  They would not have friendly, supportive conversations with people in chat.  They would not exhibit courage in fighting their symptoms day after day, year after year. 

 

However, you do seek help.  You do fight.  You do support others.  Thus, I think it is safe to say that you are not bad or evil, that you are a real person struggling with a very real illness. 

 

I hope that makes sense.

 

THIS excatly. This was so well said and entirley true. No, you're not an "evil" person. Everyone has struggles and trials, but the important thing is to realize what they are and then work on them, and that's what you're doing. I think getting help would prove to be very benefical to you. You are not nuerotic and not evil, you just struggle with an illness like we all do..

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Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself, you are not bad or evil and if your in contact with doctors about your condition, then it's just depression making

you value yourself so little. I go through it all the time, thinking I'm the worse example of a person in the world, because I can not work at the moment,

I feel constantly that I let people and myself down.

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