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Meaning/beliefs when depressed.

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Do any of you find that some of your core beliefs about the world or about your personal meaning-systems change when depressed?  Like when depressed you believe one thing, but when stable you believe something else entirely?


(I say "meaning system" and "beliefs" because I don't mean to imply religion.)


Is it possible to hold onto meaning when feeling depressed, or do you have to wait until you come out of it?


And if your beliefs change so easily when in an episode, does that mean they are not real to begin with?


Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.

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I've not generally found that, but then I tend to run on a less than light-and-fluffy view of the universe and humanity at the best of times.  

I definitely have Vimes tendencies.
"If there was anything that depressed [Vimes] more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life."
~Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

But that's rarely taken away motivation.


And while finding my own meaning and purpose, for here and now, I long ago came to terms with the possibility that life and the universe as a whole may not have any.

Shakespeare could at least conceive of life as "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and  fury, signifying nothing."

(but those are the words of a character, not necessarily what Shakespeare believed.)


Finding meaning for such a life, in such a universe? Well it can be done but not, I suspect, easily by all.



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Depressed, manic, or in the middle, I still tend to think that my kids are pretty cool, the telephone company is evil, vanilla is the best all around ice cream flavor, and that people are really only as good as they treat waiters, maids, and the people who make the least amount of money at their building.  How intensely I feel about these things, and to what degree I fixate over them, does tend to be tie to mild to extreme swings in my mood.

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My beliefs change when I'm experiencing psychosis. I'm comparing the two to show how beliefs really can change in some states of mind.

It doesn't happen so much with depression. I just struggle to put my beliefs into practise if you know what I mean. So like I'll know exercise is vital for my wellbeing *but* I won't act to do any. I'll know my friends are important but I won't feel like seeing them.

World views are usually skewed to pessimism rather than completely out of wack as in psychosis. So instead of believing I can read secret signs/meanings I'll believe that I'm worthless/useless based on flimsy evidence.

With depression it's more of a spectrum of views which shift to negativity but I'll still hold some things sacred. It's like not seeing clearly through a fog - you can still see shapes and colours just hazy. With psychosis it's a complete hallucination, methaphorical or (for some people) real.

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I guess the obvious happens.   I tried dialing down (With the Doctors ok but she wasn't keen on the idea) anti depression stuff.   I went from being social and working on my personal issues, being "nice" and thinking positive things to yelling and wanting to run from them and sit alone somewhere.


Anyway it was a great experiment because I learned a little more about how much change the meds do.   *Which in this case seems to be a lot and in a good way.   I think the most common thing that most of us experience is that therapy and or meds "work" and things become normal.  Its easy to think that now - your normal.   Maybe it was a bad dream?   Maybe you really never needed help so.....  You fiddle with what works.   When this started I was ok with therapy but I was really concerned that meds would make me "veg" or turn into someone else.  Anyway - I'm babbling....

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My beliefs about Life, the Universe, and Everything don't change but my beliefs about people do.  I become paranoid, sure that everyone is only interested in their own life and safety.  I develop beliefs, delusions really, about people who are out to get me and that I have to be aggressive to stop them.  I almost never lose my belief that you make your own meaning in life and that the Universe is really not sentient at all. However, I have had manic periods when I thought God had a special plan for me and that I knew things that no one else did, even heard Jesus' voice.  

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