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Do you have normal days?


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Do you ever have normal days? When I say "normal" is feeling like you used to feel before being diagnosed with Bipolar?.

How long the normal days last?

 

I feel that I haven´t been myself since I got ill. I do feel somehow normal some days, but never like before.

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I honestly don't remember feeling any differently than I do now. I'm a heck of a lot older but even as a kid, it was evident that I had issues. So I guess I've never lived without knowing I was MI. My pdoc says I'm in partial remission. I haven't a clue what that means but from the way I feel, it's pretty much normal. Sure, situational stuff happens that knocks me down every once in a while but I get over that and continue on. This is about as normal as I get and this is about as normal as I've ever been.

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I hate the word normal in these context's, how do you define normal? I can't remember what normal is. 

 

I have good days, typical days and bad days. I also have OK days. And yes I get times where situational things become to much. I know what is typical for me though and that aspect or aspects of it can occur just as much in good days and in bad days and it is actually more of a problem on good days. 

 

I suppose the big clue for me as to how well I am doing is how badly the lack of executive functioning/inability to concentrate is causing the problems. 

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It took me a lot of years, and a lot of medication combos, but I can confidently say that I feel "normal" the vast majority of the time. I still have my little quirks, but I am essentially happy, stable, and symptom free. I do get anxiety and take klonopin every couple of weeks or so. But, I've been diagnosed for 15 years and I've been on steady, regular meds for 5 years. I would say that I have reached "normal" just in the last year or so. 

 

Hang in there! It is a long road but stability is there, with patience. 

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I don't know the answer to this question either. I couldn't tell you. I've certainly felt BETTER, I suppose and for a fairly long stretch of time barely interrupted. I only feel GOOD if it's the illness making me feel good, ha ha. "Normal" for me is probably something like mildly depressed and it's always been that way. I've had good days without being hypo though as well. it happens. 

 

I just don't know what normal is on a large scale and certainly not when it applies to me. If I thought I finally felt what normal was supposed to feel like, I wouldn't know who the fuck I was anymore.

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My thoughts on "normal."  I think, maybe it is more about being able to be resilient or adaptable without life shaking you up and sending you into another mood episode.

 

MI aside, everybody has up and down days. I don't know of anyone that has steady going, same thing every day etc. Everyone could use therapy, everyone could use a good social support.

 

I think the goal IS to be adaptable and not get shook up. To have enough "tools," like therapy, exercise, diet, sleep, meds, social support - that you recognize that it is ok to be sad every once in awhile and it is part of life. 

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My thoughts on "normal."  I think, maybe it is more about being able to be resilient or adaptable without life shaking you up and sending you into another mood episode.

 

 

This^^. I was shook up for a few years after my diagnosis. Unstable, mixed, cycling. Was not the best time. Then we found meds that worked and I returned to "normal." It's a more even normal, different than the old one, but pretty good. I knew it when I got there, but could not have explained what normalcy I was looking for before then. Frenetic describes what I think of "normal" pretty well.

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. If I thought I finally felt what normal was supposed to feel like, I wouldn't know who the fuck I was anymore.

 

Yeah, this is what I'm struggling with now.  I don't ever remember a time when I wasn't cycling like crazy.  Even when I was a kid, I was either high as a kite or depressed.  In therapy yesterday we talked about this.  I'm doing really well on my meds... but... in a lot of ways I don't recognize myself at all.  I had my first work crisis last week and while I responded exactly right, it was completely differently than I would have responded before meds, down to the tone of my voice and my body language.  I know intellectually that things are way better now and my responses are as close to right but -- it's weird not knowing myself.  Of course, before meds I couldn't control myself much at all so it's a good thing.  

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Keeping in mind that my diagnosis is a work in progress, I will saw that I have "quiet in the head" days. Sometimes I have weeks of it. I've been given the "partial remission" label to, although there's still some argument as to what I'm in remission from. So- yeah, I can go for weeks and feel what I suppose other people call normal. To me, honestly, it's a little disconcerting because I'm so used to the rushing thoughts and the compulsive need to write, but I am getting a lot of work done right now.

 

I may be in one of those stages where people kind of miss their mania/hypomania. I went for a few years of up and down and up and down, and now I'm medicated and it's stopped. That was my normal, and now I'm getting used to everyone else's. ;)

Edited by girlwiththefarawayeyes
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I'm with @sylvan . I've never felt "normal," even before my diagnosis. Ever. As far back as I can remember.

 

I'd also echo @Phoenix_Rising ... if one day in every 30 is "normal," how "normal" can it be and what do you have to compare it to? The closest I can get to normal is a stability in which I can function to some degree.

Edited by ovOidampUle
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Thank you all for your responses. I see that in spite of medication there are people who still struggle. I dont have normal days like befo re i got ill. I just have days in which i feel better. I think about my illness everyday. The other day a friend from high school wrote a recommendation for my work search. I almost cried. She described me as funny, sociable, and smart. Things that I am not anymore due to my illness. I am just in denial of the new person i have become. I miss the OLD ME.

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My thoughts on "normal." I think, maybe it is more about being able to be resilient or adaptable without life shaking you up and sending you into another mood episode.

. Very wise quote. It is a matter of adaptability to every change life brings. Thank you, Ill take that into account. Edited by CookieN
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I haven't felt like the same person since receiving my diagnosis. Something about learning this about myself has fundamentally changed the lens through which I view myself and my interactions with the world. I can't separate the bipolar from me. So no, I have not felt normal.

 

I like what someone above said about using the term 'stable'. I was stable for about four months this past year but in the past two months I've dramatically turned toward depression and mixed states.

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I've never really felt like I fit in around other people. There are times when I feel content with who I am if that's what you mean by normal?

 

As for someone telling me I fit into a cateogry of 'x, y and z' - the diagnosis had no effect on me as a person - not on who I thought I was or how I felt about who I was.

 

To me the diagnosis just gave me some confirmation and ease of mind that I was different in certain ways to other people. Particular differences you can observe and distinctly clarify as being a deviation between characteristic traits. It allowed me to get away from thinking "you're weird and don't fit in with anyone and never will" - to "you have particular differences, everyone has differences and now you know what to expect from yourself and others".

 

 

The most I can say about normality is: stereotyping 'others' (anyone but the self) isolates the individual and makes them feel abnormal. By removing one's mechanism of anticipating other people's personalities - you will find yourself to be more normal. However it does have the drawbacks associated with treating people as objects rather than 'individuals' of whom bonds can be made with -- such as narcissism, detachment from reality and skepticism - of which are associated with violent tendencies, existential fallacy and paranoia respectively. Meh. Ramble.....

 

Edit: typo

I appreciate Albert Camus.

Edited by Genome
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