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Strange emotions

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Throughout these past years since diagnosis, I have noticed some strange emotions. At random, sometimes inappropriate times I will burst into laughter or have a huge grin across my face. At other times its like I disappear into my own world, almost like dissociation, but I completely withdraw from the world around me into my own. I have been thinking about this because people have recently brought this up to me. I am also paranoid 99.9% of the time. What is wrong with me. I have been previously diagnosed with schizoaffective, but idk. I think it is attached to my BP AND anxiety, someway somehow.

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I have a hard time regulating my emotions, including behaving "normally" in socially acceptable situations (i.e. laughing when I'm supposed to be sad). I think to some extent it's a manifestation of the disorder - all emotions are kind of out of whack when you aren't well, everything in between depression and mania as well as the big two. I also withdraw unto myself during depressive episodes. It's more than that - I feel like I'm separate from being, if that makes sense, like out of body.


All and all, I can empathize with some of your symptoms. I've never had a schizoaffective diagnosis, nor do I think that I am. Mine is all bipolar and anxiety. That doesn't mean it's the same as yours.


Just thought I'd let you know that you aren't alone.

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I'm not saying you are hearing voices or even will, but what you wrote is exactly what happened to me when I got thoughts in my head that I didn't hear, but it was like silent talking to me in my head from someone (idk who though; no one was in the room).  It is hard for me to explain, but I didn't hear anything.  It was more like "someone" was thinking to me and my reactions were based on that, regardless of what was happening around me.

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