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Letting go.


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I have been at a healthy weight for just over a year.  I want to stay healthy.  I want to be fully recovered.  I want to keep moving forward.

 

However, I am having trouble letting go of the idea that I would be happier if I lost weight. 

 

Logically, I know this is not true.  The idea still haunts me, though.

 

How do you let go of wanting to lose weight and from thinking that it would solve all of your problems?  Does this get better the longer you are healthy?  Can anyone relate?

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I am fully recovered from the ED I had for 20 years.  I can say from experience that I know now that losing weight will not solve all my problems and wont make me happier. 

 

When I first started getting better, it did take time ... but the longer I stayed in recovery and healthy the less the losing weight/being happy was on my mind.  I just didn't want to go back to what I was like before recovery.

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  • 3 weeks later...

It'll take time. Losing weight doesn't mean you'll be happier.

Remind yourself you're happy where you are. If your clothes fit, remind yourself if you lose, you'll have to go spend more money on more clothes!

 

Logically, losing weight really solves no problems, especially if you're at a healthy weight.

 

It just takes time. Accepting yourself is hard. Sometimes I'll want to revert to bulimia and think of how awful it was, hiding from others, being paranoid about being heard, how disgusting it was (the act of it), wrecking my teeth, my body, heartburn. It's not worth it, to lose weight.

 

Accept being healthy. Think about what being healthy has given you.

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^ I do this too.

I have a list of how much it hurt. How my bones would hurt (and you can't even feel that, normally! It's a weird sentence). How empty I felt (physically and emotionally). How I couldn't concentrate. How cold I was. How scared I was that my heart would stop and I'd be found covered in my own puke. How little energy I had. How mean I was because my mood had just tanked.

That sort of thing.

I still find myself thinking that I should lose weight, though, too. Usually I take it as a sign that I need to move but in a healthy way. So walking for 15-20 minutes or something.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I still do this, in fact I would say mentally I still have 'bad' days and I just put it down to that. I think eventually you just forget, there are other things in your life that take over and you don't think about your weight so much.

 

I don't know how long it takes, everyone is different, but I still have days when I think losing weight will make me feel better. Then I have days when I don't even think of it at all. 

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