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I cut last night using an xacto knife and there's a huge vertical gash in my forearm and I can see my bone. I can't go to the ER or anything because then they'd call my parents, send me to inpatient, and it would basically screw up my life. I'm just curious if anyone else has cut deep and knows a way to treat it using home/drug store medical supplies? I just want the wound to close up. 

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You really need to go to the ER or any urgent care walk in centre. You are risky serious infection and you would need more medical treatment for this. This is nothing you can do to a wound that severe. Go to the ER and explain. You might not be put inpatient. Your parents finding out is scary I know, but I'm really worried for your health.

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I'm sorry, I have to agree with the others and say that if the wound is that deep, you really must get professional help.  I know it's scary, but the serious infection you are risking will definitely require urgent attention from a doctor.  I have cut deep enough in the past to require many stitches and trust me, you simply can't take care of something like this on your own.  Please, please be brave and take care of yourself.

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The thing is, with a wound this serious as others have said there is literally no way for this to be taken care of at home, on your own, or basically without any sort of medical intervention.  In that case not only would your parents very likely find out anyway, you'd be risking a terrible infection leading to potentially even worse outcomes.  At least if you go for professional medical help now, well you may risk your parents finding out but at least it could be properly taken care of and given a chance to heal rather than the terrible alternatives.

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Matilda, please let us know how things turn out. I hope you took the previously offered advice and sought medical attention for your cut. I know how scary it is, I've required stitches for a cut before. They didn't make me go IP, so that's not a for-sure thing if you do seek help.

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Hi,

 

I get the impression that you are finding the idea of parental involvement untenable. It's understandable when you are young to feel that the consequences will be dire. Maybe your family has it's issues you feel guilty or disloyal to reveal them, maybe your parent/s have said that your feelings are not something you should express.

 

If you are feeling unhappy or struggling to cope, it doesn't mean that is a criticism of your parents.

If you are self harming, there could be lots of good reasons and while your parents may be shocked, angry, feel responsible or behave in a critical way, your self harm still deserves attention.

You are responsible for you as much as your health allows you to be. Your parents take over for you when you aren't able to do that.

 

You are not responsible for the feelings of your parents, or school, or friends. And right now, you sound like you need some help from someone else.

 

Numbers of young people self harming are rising, you're not alone. And fortunately professionals are starting to work with young people and families to resolve unhappiness so that young people can stay in school, continue their studies and move on with their lives. I won't lie, asking your parents to help you get treatment or having the ER staff tell your parents for you isn't going to be easy. I tried to kill myself at 12, the school told my parents, it was hard. But you can come through that.

 

I attempted suicide at 12 and kept it secret. I had a miscarriage and internal injuries at 13 and kept that a secret and never got medical help. It damaged my health. My one regret is not speaking out as a young person. Ideally my family would have taken that step and helped me. But I know that whatever I feared would happen if I asked for help, it would have been to my benefit to do it.

 

I have worked in adolescent mental health, an IP stay is something considered a last resort.

Edited by Titania
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You are all so kind and caring!! I feel really bad that I can't say that I went to the ER... I have been replacing the bandages and using the antibiotic cream stuff. 

 

I was inpatient twice in the last year, they put me on ProZac and sent me to daily intensive group therapy and that helped get my life back on track, but now that I don't have serious depression for the first time in the last 6 years, I feel like something is missing. Depression was scary, but it was comforting. 

 

My parents are so happy that things are finally working out for me. I don't want to blow it again. :/

 

Thanks so much for your advice and support, it means a lot to me

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I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you must go and get that seen to! That is a serious wound you have inflicted upon yourself. 

 

Setting aside the mental health issues for a moment, physically you have damaged many layers of tissue what with the wound being so deep - that's not just skin, that's muscle and nerve tissue- plus you are putting yourself at risk of a very serious infection that could easily result in some disastrous consequences. Never mind the scarring issues you are going to have with a wound like that if you don't let a medical profession stitch it closed.

 

Your parents sound supportive, which is great, and of course they want you to be happy but I'm also pretty sure that includes being healthy and whole as well. Don't you think that they would rather hear you were responsible enough to seek medical attention, than that you were reckless with your health and refused to get such a wound treated because you were afraid of disappointing them?

 

There is no shame in saying you are struggling, I'm sure many people on these forums will tell you that they have been back and forth with depression. I know I have. Unfortunately there is no quick fix, no easy cure, and sometimes part of getting better is realising that the illness can sometimes be more comfortable, more familiar, than living without it. Particularly when you've lived with it for so many years that you've just forgotten how to live feeling 'normal' or stable, or whatever the correct word is for it.

 

Please seek help. Please get that wound seen to. It is very, very important.

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It would be a shame to end up losing your arm or accidentally dead from an infection.

 

This is a real possibility.

 

We aren't telling you this as a scare tactic or because we want you to have to disclose what happened.

 

We're telling you about the risks because you deserve appropriate care for your injury, regardless of how it was caused.

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Your parents will find out with a cut that deep. It would be better to have them find out that you went and got help rather than stayed at home just to please them. They would want you to seek medical attention for that cut. You won't necessarily go inpatient.

 

Please take the advice given to you here. Go. Otherwise realy bad things can happen, a HELL of a lot worse than inpatient stay.

Edited by forgetmenot220
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If you lose your arm, or die from an infection, your parents will find out.

 

I know that we keep raising it, but it's because it is a very real possibility.

If you've hurt a muscle it may never work again. If you can't use your hand any more (since it needs to get that signal from your arm, and now that's damaged), can you imagine hiding that from your parents? 

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I understand your trepidations but I hope you got the help you needed. I was afraid in my first IP stay about what my parents would think but they'd prefer I got better then the alternative. I know my parents were afraid, not disappointed. Maybe it's the same for you? I don't know your parents but from what you say they sound supportive.

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I just can't tell them. I've been inpatient before - twice - and they're just so sick of me going to the hospital. My dad thinks it's an attention thing, that I'm not actually messed up or anything I just manipulate people into sending me to the hospital. They are finally leaving me alone and everything is normal, I just can't throw that all away.

 

I have been washing it one to two times a day, always applying fresh antibiotic cream and a few sterile bandage. I can't see the bone anymore, and it is finally clotting (it doesn't immediately start bleeding when I change the bandage anymore). I know the warning signs of infection, and everything seems okay for now... 

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I am sorry to hear that your fear of parental overinvolvement is causing you to choose to not get appropriate medical care.

 

Because we are a pro-treatment, pro-recovery site, it's really unlikely that you will hear anyone supporting your decision to go it alone on this one.

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I told my mom about what's been going on. She wasn't mad this time, thankfully. I haven't showed her the cut yet, but I think on Wednesday I'm going to ask her if we can go to the hospital and get stitches. It's probably going to take forever since they'll put me in the Psych ER and then I'll have to get evaluated so they know I'm not suicidal. I really don't want them to send me to the 72-hour unit because then everyone would have to find out. 

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I am glad you have chosen to talk to your mom. I hope her response is helpful to you.

 

Is there a reason you are waiting until Wednesday to ask about getting stitches? The longer you wait, the less likely it is that it will be able to be stitched properly, or stitched at all.

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