deeschmee Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Ive been having some good days but today I woke up and its already a tough one. My bf & I have split up but I have to live here for 7 more weeks so we are just roomates now. No conversation, communication just a few nice words here & there. And I am so lonely!!!!! Im not working and my friends are 45 minutes away and busy with there own families. So today is another lonely day my daughter is at her her dads then coming home to have a slumber party here. Maybe its the dysfunction I come from but this is so damn hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hagar Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Wow, that sounds like a REALLY tough situation. I can't imagine having to live with an ex like that. I would definitely be feeling all sorts of unpleasant emotions. I'm sorry. Is there any chance you can escape the house for a little bit to get some air and maybe clear your head? Like take a little walk or go sit in a coffeeshop for a little bit until it's time for your daughter to arrive? Sometimes when I'm feeling really lonely and isolated, I just have to get out of my apartment for a while and be around people. Even just being around strangers and not speaking to anyone seems to help a little, for a while anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeschmee Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 Thats a good idea...I do need coffee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeschmee Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 didnt work. I could hardly keep from crying at the store. I almost want to patch things up with him it hurts so bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTastybutt Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting. I don't have any advice. I've cried at the store myself. It was embarrassing for me but I think the other people there didn't know how to deal with it so they kept away or were overly cheery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeschmee Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 Yea it sucks... thank yoou for caring though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hagar Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 didnt work. I could hardly keep from crying at the store. I almost want to patch things up with him it hurts so bad I'm sorry. Dealing with a breakup is hard enough, but having to see him everyday and stay cordial to keep things from falling apart must add a whole other level of shittiness to it. I would wager that a lot of us here at CB have cried in public before, I know I have, so don't feel bad about that. I hope things get easier for you soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeschmee Posted October 19, 2013 Author Share Posted October 19, 2013 Thank you so much. Just your response helps me feel a little less alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likeabowlof0ranges Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I'n terrible prone to crying in public. Don't feel ashamed. Lots of normal folk have done it too. I'm sorry about the break up. I had to keep living with my ex for months and it was very hard. we have a fairly caring but appropriately distant friendship now. I remember wanting so bad to patch it up because that's what I thought I wanted at the time. It really wasn't, I suggest giving yourself some space to think about it. Is it at all possible for you to be in different part of the house to him? And just try and immerse yourself in something lighthearted, maybe youtube some comedians you like or music you enjoy. Can you plan a nice activity you could do outside the house with your kid. Might give you something to look foward to. Or just focus on being really mindful and happy of the time you get to have together so you can have some fond memories to to fight all of this gloom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancingteapot Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 sorry to hear about your situation. sounds like it's rough. hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Just wanted to add my wishes that things improve for you soon. You're really in a yucky situation, to say the least. Even though you might cry, I think getting out and being among people is really important. Do you have a Barnes and Noble near you where you could get a coffee and maybe sit and read for awhile? I often go to Target and just cruise around to help with that lonely feeling. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelikejazz Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Are there any mental illness support groups near you? I'd suggest meet-ups but if you are feeling so vulnerable it may be more helpful to interact with people who understand depression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokendishes Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Wow I'm so sorry! That's a tough situation to be in...I'm kinda in a similar mess. Are you for sure set for a new place in 7 weeks? I ask because that could give you something to focus on and distract you from the sadness you're feeling...Plus knowing you have a place to go can help you feel reassured if you are waffling and wanting to get back together. God knows I can't tell ya which is the right choice since I'm wallowing in my own stupidity right now lol, but you do what you need to do for your own peace of mind. Living like roomates when you were once intimate is one of the hardest things a heart can bear...I'm very sorry you're having to endure this. I know how lonely that can be(me too...)... Maybe those depression meetup groups might help? Where I live we have divorce support groups--wonder if there's regular breakup groups too? What the hell-- if it's too hard on ya, why not go to the divorce group? I mean, married or not, there's an undeniable emotional pain when a relationship ends that you can't quantify by being married or not.... If it's any consolation, I wish I had a place to go and be able to leave my H.... Wishing you peace Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deeschmee Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Well thank you for all the kind responses! He just asked me the other day why I was not speaking to him!!!! I guess I thought it was the other way around. He also said he was afraid he would come home and find me dead. Ive been severely depressed. I definitely do have a place to go in December, and dont have to pay rent however I dont have a job and the house will become occupied in 5-6 months. Time will tell how this plays out. I did see the pnurse yesterday, Im back on Effexor and see my counselor today. I think dbt would help me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unmasked Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Hoping that you are finding your way through this. So many great suggestions already given. Be gentle with yourself ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAL9000 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I want to second the group therapy. There are ones for people breaking up, infidelity, mental health, addiction. Check it out. It gives me something to look forward to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessamine Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I feel for you. I lived with an ex and we broke up and I was stuck living with him for a month afterwards. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to live through and it definitely messed with my mind. I kept myself as busy as possible during that time and just kept focus on the fact that I would be moving out (whenever I was home I absolutely threw myself into sorting and packing everything to distract me). Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isthisit? Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Hi I feel for you, I'm in a similar situation and have been for the past 2 years, it sucks loads, could you go an stay with someone whilst you part ways? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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