Hi, I am kitties. I am a newbie here, but not to illness. I have chronic pain 24/7 in my back and neck.
Mentally....here are my diagnoses (got a second and third opinion....all objective and a consensus of the exact same diagnoses.)
Bipolar 1 with psychosis, extreme, treatment resistant, rapid cycling. Mixed features predominant. Never had a remission to date...just a couple of weeks with my bipolar disorder. “Normal” for a few weeks a couple of times per year. No anxiety remission.
OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety disorder, PTSD...I think that is everything. Oh, I am significantly affected by a very strong dose of agoraphobia stemming from my PTSD and Panic Disorder.
I have a great psychiatrist and I e been in treatment with him a since 2006. I had a great therapist that had a co-transference issue and I ultimately ended my therapy with him. I have tried four therapists since firing the aforementioned therapist - but I unfortunately have lost faith in the process.
I am a night owl by nature and it has really ramped up since being declared disabled in 2009/SSDI/cannot work. I struggle with having a “routine,” although I have read that one with bipolar disorder tends to be more stable with a routine. I’m easily overstimulated so I like the quiet and darkness..
I know I have an eating disorder (anorexia, restricting type), but I politely yet firmly said I have had “eating issues” but I have no desire to “go there.” My psychiatrist respects that although I am subject to a monthly weigh-in and I self-manage it.
I am currently relapsing right now, unfortunately. But, I have had it for so many years that I know at what weight my body and mind take a turn for the worst. And I have to rein it back in and stop losing (meaning eat more). I’ll never seek treatment as the recovery model, IMO, is ridiculous. Kudos to those that have been able to “recover.”
I take a bunch of meds, mainly psych meds
I like to read, Enjoy spending time with my boyfriend. Internet. I like learning things, I am currently and reading up on world history (pre-USA). I keep up with psychology and sociology.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Has anyone here come to realize the moments when you are projecting in a relationship? By Projection, I mean the behavior where you do not accept your own thoughts, motivations, desires, and feelings as your own. These "unwanted" feelings or thoughts are dealt with by being projected / placed outside of yourself or attributed to someone else...
I've noticed (as a chronically depressed, anxious, highly-sensitive person) that I have a habit of often projecting, and misinterpreting other's behavior as critical, unloving, uncaring, angry and disapproving...when in fact, these are the constant ruminations that I have about MYSELF. This is simply how my brain operates in the world. I'm VERY critical of myself (I often see myself as unlovable, unworthy, lazy, too emotional, disorganized, I never do anything right)... Ex: Someone communicates a neutral statement to me, but I over analyze and read into it emotionally, and start feeling and questioning that the person is angry with me or disapproves of me.
Anyone experience this? How do you de-program your automatic projections?
Hi. I'm not new, I just lurk around a lot. My life is in disarray, I'm the most depressed I've ever been, my hubby's in his 4th psych ward/hospital in 3 years. Before that, he was your ordinary, dual diagnosed, drinks too much kinda guy. No delusions. No psychosis. At 50, he just bugged out. More on this later. I am so ANGRY! I shouldn't be but I am. I resent being having to deal with pdocs and Psych social workers (OMG sooo clueless) and researching antipsychotics & SSRI'S & SNRI'S & so on & so on.
I take 300mg of Wellbutrin 150 2 x daily, 4mg of Klonopin 2 mg at a time. I ALWAYS run out! A cut of 2 mg daily is not working out well...lol. It's almost a month but nothing. It worked before but I dunno... I'm frustrated, alone, and scared.
Ok, I don't know where to post this,so here goes nothing. Invega - is anyone else on this and what do you think about it?
Thanks in advance,
Hello everyone, thought I would do what everyone else has done and introduce myself a little.
(Possible Trigger below)
I am George, I live in Dagenham with my soulmate. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, and depression. I spend everyday indoors, but I do try to go outside at least once during the day. I used to be a member of the Mental Health Forum but felt unwelcome after a couple of years, then I joined RethinkTalk which was great until it closed down and ever since I have been trying to find somewhere else to go...Then a few days ago I found this place!
It seemed good to me, and I put a lot of effort into getting here..Considering I had to register over ten times, and create a yahoo account. So obviously I am glad I finally have an account, and can check the place out. I used to be on Citalopram for a short period of time, but then stopped taking them and decided to improve myself, by myself. Last couple of years have dedicated my time into doing just that-sorting my head out!
I have not self harmed since a year ago, I no longer starve myself or force myself to throw up, I even ate some things in front of people (phobia of eating in front of people), have gained confidence in myself, haven't tried to kill myself since 2010 and I am generally doing a lot better in life. Although I still have a LOT to work on, I am getting there slowly.
Anyway yeah that's me, and my shitty intro
I was wondering what people's experiences of CMT are? It seems to be what my psychologist is most fond of/comfortable with, and from the psych conference handouts she gave me, it seems.. A mixed kettle of fish? Some good, some bad. We don't get on that well with mindfulness (autism sensory issues, ADD), but she said there's enough there that we can work around that and hopefully still get some goodstuff, mainly for my depression/c-ptsd stuff.
Getting pretty desperate for stuff to actually help with how treatment resistant this stuff is. Reached the end of the stick medswise, and CBT/etc leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. So.. Hopefully this'll help.